Hidden Life
by TinneFantasyFan
Summary: Clary is forced to change schools halfway through the year when her mom is offered a different job. She hates it and doensn't want to leave her best friend Simon behind, but doens't have a choice. Will meeting Isabelle and Jace help her through the change? Or will the secrets of a certain golden haired boy get her into trouble? AU AH Mention of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual!)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

 **This is my first TMI fanfiction.**

 **It's an All Human/Alter Universe story, so if you don't like it, skip it ;-)**

 **Also: be aware that this is a mature story, mainly since it covers the subject of abuse in all different forms (emotional, physical, sexual, ...)  
If you're not up for it, please don't read it. **

**So, that's it, no more notes from me.**

 **I hope you enjoy this journey with me!**

 **Lots of Love!**

 _ **I**_

It was dark, the glint of dawn showing a little in the small window.

The room was small, neatly organised with a bed, a set of drawers and a desk. Nothing out of the ordinary if maybe a little too clean. A picture of a woman and a young boy in a cracked frame sat on the nightstand.

The cell phone's alarm started ringing through the silence and a slight form shifted underneath the blankets of the bed. A hand crawled out and hit the phone, hard, to stop the sound.

Jace sighed, pushing himself up on his elbows. His blond hair fell in a tangled mess over his eyes and he wiped it impatiently aside. Pushing back his covers he got out of bed.

He winced, his entire body hurting, but he pushed through.

He had to hurry to get in the shower, get ready for school. Another day, another chance, his mother would have said.

It was the one thing that kept him going, the thought of his mother and hoping against hope he might see her again one day.

 **A/N: So, this is the introduction, I hope you like it! Please review! :-***


	2. Chapter 2

II

Going to school wasn't fun…

Having to change schools in the middle of the year was pure torture!

Clarissa Fairchild, daughter to Jocelyn and step daughter to Luke, was in a seriously bad temper.

"Mom, really, why do we have to do this now? It's the middle of the year, just let me stay here for the last few months and I'll follow you and Luke later! Please, don't make me do this!"

"Clary," her mother replied,

"I know you don't want to, and believe me I understand. But they don't leave me a choice. I don't want to go any more than you do. But if we don't do this, I'll be out of a job in no time. And there is no way we can make due just with Luke's pay check. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah I do mom." Clary sighed.

Her mom had been reassigned to work in Washington, making it impossible to stay here in Portland. They had to leave everything behind, start all over… the thought alone made her want to vomit.

Luke, being a cop, could start over in the local police force with little to no trouble. He always did an amazing job and they were happy to have him.

But it was she, Clary, who would have to start over from scratch in a new school. Trying to make new friends really wasn't her favorite pastime and she hated the thought of having to leave her all time best friend Simon.

She and Simon had grown up together. They had shared all their sorrows and victories together for as long as she could remember, and now all of that would have to end.

Feeling a little depressed she turned back to her bedroom to continue packing her stuff. Most of it had been done by now, just some clothes, music and most importantly her sketchpad and pencils. Those would have to stay within reach during their journey, just to keep her mind off things.

It wasn't school so much she was going to miss, but just the feeling of coming home to someone. Clary didn't have a lot of friends at school. She spent her time either with Simon or in the art department.

A knock on the door distracted her.

"Yeah, come in." Clary said.

"Hey you." said Simon's voice behind her. "How are you doing?"

"Oh you know, just perfect." Clary said sarcastically. " I only have to move to another state and leave you behind."

"Don't worry Clary. You'll be just fine. We can still chat and use facetime and stuff. It's not like we won't be able to keep in touch, right?"

"I know, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, does it?" Clary sighed.

"I just really don't want to go. I don't want to have to start all over again, you know?"

"I understand, but I know you're going to be just fine. I heard they have a really good art program there. You'll love it! And I'm sure you'll make new friends in no time. You just have to have some faith in yourself." Simon said, and gave her a hug.

"Thank you 're the best, you know that right?"

"Yeah, you've told me a few times already." Simon answered with a wink.

"Now go get ready! I want to take you out one last time before you leave in the morning."

The water from the shower was scalding hot. As always it was just about the only thing that helped the muscles in Jace's back to relax slightly. He checked his reflexion in the mirror, scowling at the bruises and welts that covered his back and shoulders. A harsh reminder of what had happened the night before.

"Jace!"

A shout from downstairs pulled him from his thoughts.

"Yeah Alec, what do you want?" Jace yelled back.

"It's almost time to go. Hurry, you haven't eaten yet. Izzy is making you breakfast."

"I'll be there in a minute." he said, and turned the shower of.

He dressed, carefully checking all the bruises were covered, and downed some painkillers before he left the bathroom.

Neither Alec, his best friend, nor Izzy, Alec's sister, knew about it. And he preferred to keep it that way.

Alexander and Isabelle Lightwood were his surrogate siblings. At the age of ten, his father had been brutally murdered and his mother disappeared. Ever since then, Jace had lived with the Lightwood family. Robert and Maryse had offered him a home and he had gratefully accepted thus avoiding the foster care system. Robert and Maryse were both top notch lawyers and that meant that they regularly left the three kids to themselves for a few days at a time. Neighbours and friends would keep an eye out for them and check if they needed anything.

"You came home late Jace" Izzy said when Jace entered the kitchen.

"Yeah sorry," Jace replied.  
"I should have called you. Things ran a little late at Valentine's"

"Don't worry, I just wondered if everything was ok. You seemed to come up the stairs quite heavily."

"I stumbled, my shoelaces came undone and I hadn't noticed"

"Sure..." Izzy said quizzically, "sure you didn't just take to much shots?"

"Yes Izzy, I wasn't drunk." he replied a little tersly.

"Fine fine, I'll leave it alone. But Jace, if you need to talk, just know I'm here, all right?"

"Thanks Izzy." Jace said, and place a kiss on the top of her head.

He loved her, a lot. She was the sister he'd always wanted and had never had.

"Let's go you two." Alec said, popping his head around the door.

They set off towards school.

Clary, her mother and Luke, her stepfather were at the last part of their journey. All bags and suitcases were stuffed in a cab who was making it's way slowly towards their new home.

It was Friday, so they had the entire weekend to unpack and try to find their way around a bit.

"We're here Clary" Jocelyn said, and Clary looked up from her sketchpad. The cab had pulled up in front of a large detached house with white painted walls and lime green shutters. It was nice enough and the sun brought out the colors around nicely.

Clary got out and just soaked up the little sunlight that was filtering through the clouds. Just standing there for a moment, inhaling the fresh air. It felt nice and somehow she started to believe, just a little bit, that she might feel at home here at some point.

They hauled all their stuff inside trying to fit t all in the closets and drawers provided.

It had been a long day and Clary fell in her bed that night completely exhausted.

"Alec, did you hear about the new student coming next week?" Isabelle asked.It was Sunday morning and the tree siblings were sitting at the breakfast table.

"No, didn't catch it. She's probably not in my year, Izzy. She'll be in your class then?"

"Probably… Jace, did you hear about it?"

"Yeah, Mr Starkweather mentioned it. She should arrive Monday, no?" Jace replied.

"Yes, I'm curious. Aren't you?"

"Not in particular. I mean, it's not the first time we get a transfer student is it?"

"I know, but it's rarely during the year…"

"Oh well, we'll see. Anyway I have to go. Valentine is expecting me I half an hour."

"He's tutoring you on a Sunday?" Alec asked.

"Yeah, I had some questions for our test next Wednesday and he doesn't have time before then. So I'll see you tonight."

"Will you be home for dinner?" Isabelle asked.

"I'll probably be late, but make some for me if you want. I'll heat it when I get home." he answered while getting up.

"All right. See you tonight." Isabelle said and waved.

Both Alec and Isabelle went off doing their own thing. Neither of them noticed the dejected look in Jace's eyes.

It was well passed ten at night before Jace got back home.

"Dinner is in the kitchen!" Isabelle said from the living room.

"Thanks, I'll eat later. Need a shower first." Jace said, trying his best to sound normal so as not to alarm his sister.

His head was spinning, his back hurt and it took all he had to not faint halfway up the stairs.

He locked the bathroom door behind him. He didn't want anyone to come in seeing the state he was in now.

He turned on the shower, waiting a minute for it to heat up and in the meanwhile he gingerly stripped off his clothes. His shirt was soaked. Being a black shirt, it wasn't clear what the nature of the wetness was. Had it been any other colour of shirt, it would have been obvious that it was bright red. Stepping in the stream of the water turned the bottom of the shower crimson with running blood. He groaned when the water hit his battered back. The shower hurt like hell, but he had to get through it. He needed to wash away the feeling of the past few hours. He had to feel clean before he tried to eat something and collapse in bed.

School would be horrible in the morning...


	3. Chapter 3

III

Monday morning… Clary hit her alarm clock on the head and rolled out of bed.

She yawned widely and headed towards the bathroom. She'd had a night full distorted of dreams about Simon and her old school, interjected with nightmares about finding no clothes, being hated and shunned and feeling highly out of place. She tried to ease her fear by taking a really hot shower and picked out her clothes meticulously. Tight jeans, black top, green hoodie. She put up her flaming red hair in a messy bun to keep it out of the way.

Her mom had made her breakfast, toast and fresh orange juice.

Having finished Clary put on her sneakers and left for school.

It was still early when she pulled up in the school parking lot. Plenty of time to find her way around. She found the school reception without any problems and was given her class schedule by Mrs Hill.

"Here you go Miss Fairchild." she said, handing her all of her paperwork.

"Some forms for your parents to fill out, the schedule for all your classes and a map of the school."

The door swung open and a raven haired girl walked in carrying paperwork.

"Ah, Miss Lightwood, please meet Miss Fairchild. She'll be joining you in class starting today. Would you please help her around the school?"

"Of course Miss Hill." The girl replied, and turning to Clary she said

"Hi! I'm Isabelle Lightwood, but please call me Izzy!"

"Clary Fairchild, nice to meet you."

"Let's go! I'll show you around a bit before classes start."

Isabelle grabbed Clary by the arm and towed her along.

"Look, here you can find all the lockers, and over there is the cafeteria. You can sit with me and my brothers for lunch if you want to."

"Oh thanks, that would be nice." Clary said. She liked Isabelle. She was friendly without being pushy. Just the kind of person she matched with.

"Do you have any siblings Clary?"

"Oh no, I'm an only child. My father died shortly after I was born. My mother met my stepfather only when I was nine and then they decided not to have another child. So I'm on my own."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Can't have been easy on you."

"Oh, it's ok you know. It's all I've ever known, so I don't really miss it. And I have Luke as a father, he's the best. You said you have brothers. What's that like?"

"Oh, most of the time they're a pain in my ass, but I wouldn't' want to have a life without them. I love them to bits. Alec is a year older than I am. Jace is my age."

"You're twins then?"

"No, no,we're not. Jace is adopted."

"That's interesting."

"It's brilliant. Best decision my parents ever made was to have him join our family. He came to us when he was ten, been with us ever since." Isabelle said, a smile playing around her lips.

She turned to face Clary than and asked.

"Now, why did you move here in the middle of the year?"

"My mom got reassigned here. We didn't have a lot of choice."

"I'm sorry, that must be a terrible feeling." Isabelle said sympathetically.

"But I'm you'll feel at home soon. I'll do my best to help you with that, be your friend, you know. I have the feeling we might click just fine!

"But let's go, class is about to start. First period is math with Mr Starkweather."

"Uhg… math, not my favorite object. And I'm not very good at it either. How's the teacher?"

"I like him. He nice and doesn't mind explaining again if you ask nicely." Izzy said.

""Sounds ok." Clary said relieved. "I've always had trouble with math and never really had a good teacher."

"You'll be fine. Come, I'll introduce you." Izzy replied and pulled Clary inside the classroom.

It was a spacious room with big white tables that could seat three students. Most however were occupied by just two and one chair left vacant.

Clary looked around, wondering where she might fit in. It was rather obvious that everyone already knew each other and the groups seemed rather tight. There was no inviting space anywhere.

On table only seated one student. A lanky boy with bright, golden hair and intriguing eyes. They seemed to shift color depending on the light.

"Mr Starkweather," Clary heard Isabelle say. And she pulled her thoughts back to her friend. "This is Clary Fairchild, she's new, just started today."

"Good morning Miss Fairchild." Mr Starkweather said pleasantly. He was a young teacher, Clary noticed. He had light brown hair and dark inquisitive eyes. She decided that she liked him.

"The principal informed me you were coming. You can join Isabelle and Jace at their seats for this class. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to talk to me if you have any questions."

"Thank you sir." Clary replied and followed Isabelle to her seat.

It was the table with the golden haired boy Clary had noticed earlier, and she looked at him a little shyly.

"Jace, meet Clary. Clary, this is Jace, my brother for all intents and purposes." Isabelle introduced them.

"Hi." Clary said a little shyly.

"Morning." Jace said and he pulled out the chair next to him offering it to Clary. She took it and pulled out her books.

During class her mind started to wander off and she ended up looking at Jace for quite a while. She drank in his features in every detail, imaging drawing him. His slightly angular face, strong cheekbones and chiseled chin. A straight nose under dark blonde eyebrows and deep set eyes. It was during this staring session that Clary notices that his eyes were each a different color. One was a bright, almost electric blue. The other one was blue and brown together. She blinked, fascinated.

"If you don't stop staring at me, Mr Starkweather will notice." A voice to her left made her jump.

Clary looked up, straight into Jace's eyes, and blushed furiously.

"Sorry." she mumbled, and stared down at her book again.

"Don't be." Jace whispered, and blinked at her, a smile playing around his lips.

By the end of class Clary's head was spinning. She didn't have a clue what they were doing. She sighed, putting her books away and checking her schedule for her next period.

"Next up is English." Jace said from her left side. "You can walk with me if you want. I have to be there too."

"Oh, that would be nice. Thank you." Clary said and fell into step next to Jace.

She had to hurry to keep up with Jace's long strides, when he noticed he slowed down so they were walking side by side. The impatient clicking of heel behind then told Clary that Isabelle was catching up too.

For the rest of the morning Clary sat next to Isabelle and Jace, making the transition to a new school, new students and surroundings bearable. It was nice to have those familiar faces close by. It made her feel safe and at least a little welcome.

Izzy was the talkative kind, she babbled every spare minute away with idle chatter. Jace on the other hand was quiet, attentive and seemingly a good listener. Somehow he seemed to have an antennae that picked up any uncomfortable feeling Clary had. Every time she felt like she couldn't keep up in class or was looking lost at her schedule and school map there was Jace; reassuring her, explaining something, pointing to to right paragraph in their books.

By the time lunch rolled by Clary felt comfortable and happy for the first time since she'd had the news that the family would have to move.

She followed Isabelle and Jace to the cafeteria, got lunch and plopped down at their table.

A dark haired boy, a little older than she was and who was obviously Izzy's older brother joined them shortly after.

"Hi, I'm Alec." he introduced himself.

"Clary." she replied and smiled.

Alec didn't return the smile but turned away to a friend passing by. Clary felt like an intruder, someone who, according to Alec, wasn't really supposed to be there.

All during lunch he never said a word to her, not looking at her at all. She felt out of place at a family table.  
"I'm going Izzy, Jace." Alec said, kissing Isabelle on the top of her head.  
"See you both tonight."

And with that he left, not even acknowledging that Clary was even at their table.

She noticed Jace and Izzy exchanging covert glances. Apparently they too had noticed Alec's distant behaviour and didn't quite understand it.

The rest of the day went by uneventfully and when the final bell rang all three of them sighed with relief.

"Well, that's that for today! I'm glad it's over!" Isabelle smiled.

"So Clary, what do you think after your first day here?"

"I'm beat!" Clary laughed.

""And thank you for sticking with me all day Izzy! It really helped, I'm very grateful! You too Jace, thank you!"

"You're very welcome Clary." Jace replied

"Please don't hesitate to sit by us again tomorrow."

At that moment a group passed by the car, hooting and whistling loudly.

Clary looked up, a little embarrassed, wondering why they did that. It was obviously intended at her.

"Don't mind them." Jace whispered.

"They're just a bunch of jerks who like to take the crap out of everyone else. Izzy, we better get going. Alec has to stay late so we have to walk home."

"Right, let's get moving."

"Hey, why don't I drop you guys off? I have plenty of room."

"Oh, no, you don't have to bother really." Jace said.

"I insist, you guys took care of me the whole day. It's the least I can do for you two. Come on, hop in!"

They both obliged and jumped in the car.

Clary revved the engine and pulled out of the parking lot in the direction Isabelle pointed.

After being dropped off by Clary Isabelle and Jace walked in the house, dropping their bags coats and shoes in the hallway.

"What was Alec's problem at lunch?" Isabelle said.

"No idea." Jace replied

"Seems to me he doesn't like Clary much, but I wouldn't know why not. I mean, she's new, it's not like she might have done something to him already is it?"

"No, I wouldn't think so. I'll try to talk to him later on. As for my part, I like her. She's sweet and very friendly, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she's ok." Jace said turning to the stairs.

"I'm heading up. Need to get some homework done and I need a shower."

"Sure, I'll call you when dinner's ready."

"Thanks, what are you making?"

"Homemade pizza, just for you."

"You're an angel! Let me know if you need help."

"Will do. Now go get your homework done!"

With that Jace went upstairs to his room.

He dropped his school bag on his bed, checking what still needed to be done by the next day, a chemistry test by Wednesday that needed a ton of revision, and an assignment for history that was nearly finished.

He took a seat at his desk, turned on his laptop and started on the history assignment.

His back ached and he was desperate for a shower, but he needed to get his homework finished first. He would take a shower after dinner so he could go to bed straight after. The hot water helped his sore muscles relax, but also tended to get the welts bleeding again. So not having to socialise after a shower helped to keep everything under wraps.

He was relieved that he didn't have to go back to Valentine till Thursday.

Alec and Isabelle thought that he went to Valentine for extra chemistry tutoring. Reality was something quite different.

 **A/N: please revieuw! It's what keeps me going! :-***


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N A quick note from me, for those who have already been reading the story beforehand. I posted this warning in chapter 1 now, but I'll repeat it here again for you:**

 **Be aware that this is a mature story, mainly since it covers the subject of abuse in all different forms (emotional, physical, sexual, ...)  
If you're not up for it, please don't read it.**

 **That's all!**

 **Read and revieuw!**

 **Lots of Love**

IV

It is strange how awful change seems, when it hasn't yet happened, and yet how quickly you find new routines once the change has passed.

Clary found that within the first two weeks she was able to fit in perfectly at school.

She met up with Jace and Isabelle every morning, sat with them in class and at lunch and often drove them home when Alec, who still wasn't speaking to her, stayed late.

Soon enough she got to know other people in her class like Maureen who could sing beautifully and was top at music classes, and Sarah a sporty girl with short cropped auburn hair.

She still called Simon just about every other day and they had made plans for him to come over during the next holiday.

Clary couldn't wait for him to meet her new friends.

She quickly became best friends with Isabelle and they regularly stayed over at each other's place, staying up till daybreak discussing everything and anything going from annoying teachers to favourite books and paintings.

And yet, Clary felt strangely drawn to Jace.

He was the quiet type, but always the gentleman. He helped her out without her having to ask and was a great math tutor. Clary was awful at math but with Jace's help she managed to scrape by her tests.

But somehow she felt as though he was living in another world. He was often distracted or just staring out into nothing. She often seemed to break him out of a reverie but then again, he always picked up exactly where she had left of, seemingly not having missed anything she had said.

"Mom, can I stay over at Isabelle's tonight?" Clary asked.

Her mom was in the kitchen eating breakfast and looked up a little distractedly.

"Oh what?" she said, shaking her head.

"Can I stay at Izzy's tonight? It's Friday and I want to discuss that new book you gave me just before we left. I just finished it and she's already read it. Please mom?"

"Sure, why not. Luke has to work and a colleague asked me to go to dinner with her. Will you come by after school?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll drop my schoolbag and pick up my other stuff after school. Will I see you then?"

"Probably. I'll try to be home when you get here. Now I have to dash or I'll be late for work. See you tonight sweetheart." Jocelyn said and planted a kiss on top of Clary's head.

Clary dug her phone from her pocket and texted Isabelle

"Sleepover tonight! Be ready! ;-)"

With that she took her schoolbag and left.

Isabelle was waiting for Clary in the school parking lot. She had just arrived together with Alec.

"Hey Alec, Clary just texted me that she'll be staying over. Just so you know." She said when Alec came out of the car.

"Again?" he said, a little annoyed

"What is with you Alec? From the first moment you saw Clary you've been rude to her. Why don't you like her? I mean, not even a little bit? I don't get it…"

"No, I don't like her. Have you seen Jace looking at her? I mean… he hardly knows her and he's fawning all over her, straight from day one. We've been through this before, haven't we? And we're always the ones who get left behind to clean up the mess those girls leave behind. Look at what happened last time! We almost lost him! So no, I don't like her. And no, I don't intend to feed into Jace's possible feelings for her!" Alec raged

"We can't go through that again, Izzy. I can't…" He added, sounding thoroughly defeated and miserable.

"Oh Alec." Isabelle said, hugging him closely.

"I know it hasn't been easy lately, but please, at least try to be civil with her. Yes, Jace seems to like her, but he hasn't made a move yet. Just let it play out. Clary isn't one to take advantage of anyone. And to be fair, I like her too. She's sweet and has become a real friend to me. It's been a very long time since that happened Alec."

"I know Izzy, I'm just scared."

"Me too, but I think this might be a good thing."

"I hope so, I really do. I have to go now, meeting before class. I'll drive you home tonight."

"Ok, well talk soon."

And with that, Alec left Isabelle by the car.

"Hey Izzy, I'm heading out now. Don't want to be late to Valentine's!" Jace called out from the doorway.

"See you tonight Jace. I'll leave some dinner for you to heat up when you get back. Oh and Clary is staying over tonight too. Just so you know. We'll probably be watching some movies or something if you want to join."

"Ok, great. I have to run now. See you later." Jace said, trying not to sound worried. Clary coming over tonight wasn't good timing. Usually he could play Izzy and Alec off, saying he was tired after a full night of tutoring. With Clary there things would be a lot harder. He sighed when he pulled his bike out of the stall and jumped on it. He would curse at himself later for not going on foot, but time was running out fast. He really didn't want to arrive late.

Valentine had a temper in any case, and it didn't improve when confronted with tardiness. Experience had though him that.

Arriving at Valentine's, Jace put his bike next to the fence and went inside.

"You're late." was the first thing he heard when he entered the hallway.

Jace flinched at the sound of the voice. It was ice cold and venomous.

"I apologize Father." Jace said softly, without looking at the man in front of him.

"Go, you have work to do." Valentine said.

Valentine wasn't Jace's father, but ever since his actual father had died and Valentine had somehow wormed his way into his life, Jace had been forced to call him father. He hated it, but pain had made him compliant. Beat someone often enough and they'll do whatever you ask of them.

Shortly after his father had died, his mother had met Valentine. She had obviously taken a liking to him and invited him over every so often. At the start, everything seemed to go well. He was kind and gentle, although maybe a bit standoffish towards Jace. His mother had put it down to the fact that Valentine didn't have any children of his own and thus was a little uncomfortable. Jace though had always felt like there was something more to it than that.

It wasn't long before Valentine startedto get a little violent at times when Jace's mother wasn't home. He was cunning though, always making sure that any visible marks would be covered by clothing the next day.

Jace trudged up the stairs to the library on the second floor. The house was quiet, so no company tonight. At least there was some bright light, Jace thought. It had happened before that Valentine brought "friends" along on the nights Jace came by.

The first time that had happened, Jace had tried to run, resulting in him crawling home late at night, praying everyone was asleep when he got there so he wouldn't have to explain the blood on his hands and the tear tracks on his cheeks. He told Maryse and Robert he was ill the next day to get out of going to school. He was eleven at the time.

It took all of ten minutes for Valentine to enter the room behind Jace. He put his hands on his shoulders and Jace tried to repress a shudder. He hated the man touching him, knowing what was about to come. Fearing it.

"I have heard there is a new girl in your class." Valentine said while removing Jace's shirt.

"And I've also heard that you to seem to be taking a liking to her." he continued, his fingers digging into Jace's bare shoulders.

Jace cringed, but didn't make a sound.

He heard the belt buckle loosen behind him and mentally tried to prepare himself.

He braced himself against the desk and started reading the book in front of him. The first lash made him jump and grunt. The previous welts weren't entirely healed yet, so every stroke hurt like hell.

It took every bit of self restraint to stay seated and not cry out. He tried to remain focused on the text in front of him, trying to find a way to shut his mind. It didn't work and everything Valentine did to him during that night felt like it was being branded onto him with a white hot wire.

By the time it was finished Jace could barely stay on his feet. His whole body was shaking and he was dimly aware that, for whatever reason Valentine had gone much further in his abuse than ever before.

Jace stumbled out of the house, grabbed his bike and started on his way home. He took out his cellphone to check the time, it was already past eleven. He had been here for almost four hours. He felt like he was about to die.

Clary heard the lock of the front door click and looked up just in time to see Jace walking through the hallway towards the stairs. She wanted to call out to him, but something in his posture stopped her.

"Jace, dinner is in the fridge. Do you want me to heat it up for you?" Isabelle called from the sofa next to me.

"I'll do it in a minute Izzy." came Jace's reply from the bottom of the stairs.

"I want to put my stuff away and freshen up before I eat." With that, he went upstairs.

Clary tried to put her focus back on the movie she and Isabelle were watching, but her remind kept wandering off to Jace. She hasn't seen his face when he came in, but the way he had held himself… something felt off.

Half an hour later, Jace was sitting on the floor in front of the sofa Clary occupied, a bowl of soup in his hand and bread on the table in front of him.

He appeared relaxed enough and Clary returned to the movie at hand.

It was a little while later when a soft hand shook her arm.

"Clary," it was Jace, standing in front of her.

"The movie is done, you should go up to bed."

"Oh yeah, thank you." she said, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"I must have fallen asleep."

"Yeah, you did." Jace said, grinning a little.

"Let me help you up." he said, reaching out his hand. Clary took it gratefully and he hoisted her up.

"Thank you Jace, I should really get to bed now." Clary said, and she hugged him goodnight.

She felt him tense under her touch and quickly let go.

"Goodnight Jace. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Clary." he said, and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

Clary trudged up the stairs to Isabelle's room so she could retire for the night, all the while wondering why Jace had tensed so much under her touch.

Isabelle was talking to her, but she couldn't focus. She mmhh'd and aahh'd in all the right places to keep her happy though.

"Isabelle," Clary interrupted her friend.

"How is Jace doing lately? He seemed a bit distracted tonight."

"Oh what?" Isabelle said.

"Jace? He's fine, just tired. He has a tutor for chemistry where he goes from time to time. Usually he's just beat after he gets back and goes straight up to bed. He probably wanted to keep you company tonight though." she giggled and winked at Clary.

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't see me that way." Clary said, thinking of Jace's reaction to her hug.

"Well, you never know, do you." Izzy replied and turned off the lights.

"Night night Clary"

"Night Izzy."

And with that Clary crawled under her blankets and thought of Jace, and of the kiss he had placed on top of her head. Maybe not all was lost after all...

He had cringed! Jace could slap himself! He had cringed when Clary hugged him. And he had seen the flash of hurt in her eyes when they had said goodnight. He'd given her a kiss, hoping to make it up to her, but he felt like any chance of her liking him was wasted.

But she had taken him by surprise and had left him no time to brace himself. Not against the physical pain the hug had brought, but neither against the wave of fear that engulfed him when he thought of them being anything more than friends.

Valentine had made himself perfectly clear, telling him that he was not to have any kind of relationship with Clary whatsoever.

His back kept reminding him of that. Taking a shower when he had gotten home had been pure agony.

It had take every bit of self restraint not to cry out, out of fear someone might hear him. Clary couldn't know, no one could.

He tried to find a more comfortable position so as not to hurt his back too much.

And with Clary's hug on his mind he drifted off to an uneasy sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N So here's a new chapter. I apologise for not updating sooner, being abroad made that impossible.**

 **So as always, enjoy reading and please review!**

 **Lots of love**

V

As time went on, Clary fell into a comfortable rhythm of going to school, hanging out with Jace and Isabelle and spending hours on the phone with Simon.

Despite the space between them, they managed to stay close, calling each other every few days and making plans to visit during the next holiday.

The only thing that bothered Clary was the fact that Alec, Isabelle's brother, always kept his distance. He just didn't seem to like her at all, even though Clary spent a lot of time at their place. She had noticed that, almost every time she stayed over Alec was out, spending time at friends or staying late for football training at school. If he did happen to be home, he retreated to his room and just didn't emerge until the next morning.

Although Clary understood that some people just didn't click, it felt strange with Alec. It felt like he was holding back, or deliberately pushing her away. She had tried talking about it with Isabelle, but she had avoided the subject. And although Clary and Jace got along very well it didn't feel right to talk about it to him. He and Alec were very close, Clary had noticed, and she didn't want her feelings to cause a rift between them.

It saddened her, because however much she enjoyed the company of Isabelle and Jace, Alec's behavior made her feel less and less comfortable around them.

She started to ask them over to her place rather than go to theirs for a sleepover, even though with her mom and Luke hanging around it was a lot less fun.

"I mean, how am I supposed to feel Simon? I get that not everyone can like me, but this seems to be going a lot further than that!"

"Hey, relax!" Simon interjected.

"Why don't you just talk to the guy. See if you can get him on his own and talk to him. You can make all the assumptions you want, but unless you hear his side of the story that's all they are ever going to be. So go talk!"

"You're right, of course." Clary sighed

"It just feels so frustrating. But anyway, can you come over next holiday? I really miss you and I want you to meet Isabelle and Jace!"

"Yeah, I'm definitely coming over! I'm booking my tickets as we speak. I should arrive in two weeks on Saturday."

"Awesome! I can't wait! You're going to love it here! But I have to go now. I have an assignment to finish and I'm going to need Isabelle's help I'm afraid. We'll talk soon, right?"

"Yes! Talk soon!"

And with that Skype disconnected.

Clary scooped her bag from the floor, wrote a note to her mom and left for Isabelle's.

When she arrived however, it wasn't Isabelle or even Jace who opened the door, it was Alec.

"Clary, I didn't expect you here. What do you need?"

"Hi Alec, is Isabelle home? I need some help with an assignment."

"No, not at the moment. I'll ask her to call you when she gets back."

"Will she be gone long? I don't mind waiting for a bit."

"I don't know when she'll be back. Like I said, I'll have her call you."

"Look Alec, I get you don't like me, but really, what have I ever done to you? You've been rude to me from day one. Why don't you explain why that it? I would really like to know."

"I don't have to explain myself to you." Alec said disdainfully.

"No, I don't like you, end of story."

"I'm sure you have a reason for not liking me. So by all means, spit it out Alec. I'm really tired of feeling like I'm not supposed to be here, like I'm a nuisance or something."

"That is exactly what you are. Ever since you got here the entire balance has been disrupted. Nothing is like it was, nothing is like it's supposed to be. You don't belong here. What will it take to get through that thick skull of yours? Seriously, just go away and leave all of us alone. And it's not like Isabelle or Jace really care about you either, if that is what you are thinking! They just feel sorry for you because you had to transfer in the middle of the year. And they are too weak hearted to tell you so."

Clary just stood there, dumbstruck, for a second or so.

Then she turned on her heel and ran off. She nearly smashed into Jace when he rounded the corner, but she didn't stop, even when Jace called out her name.

"Just keep going, keep going and don't look back." she chanted in her head.

Tears were streaming down her face but she didn't want anyone to see her like this.

After a few blocks she sagged against a portal, totally out of breath, unable to move any further. She didn't even know where she was anymore, and didn't recognize the buildings around her.

"Alec! Alec!" Jace shouted when he came up to the front porch and found his brother standing in the open doorway.

"What the hell just happened? I saw Clary running of here like a bat from hell! What did you do to her? I swear if you hurt her…"

"I only told her the truth. She doesn't belong here. She didn't really seem to like what I said so she ran off. Not my fault."

"My God Alec! Are you insane? Are you a complete and utter moron?" Jace screamed.

"Why would you say that to her? And to her of all people? You know what? Don't tell me. But for God's sake, leave Clary alone and stuff your insecurities somewhere where the sun…"

He didn't finish his sentence but ran off in the direction he'd seem Clary go.

Still sobbing Clary tried to focus on her surroundings. She couldn't be lost, not now of all times. Her head was spinning with everything Alec had said, and there was no space left for her thoughts to gather enough to get her home in a city she didn't know.

Dawn was coming quickly and she had to get out of here before it was fully dark. Some part of her mind acknowledged that, but her legs didn't want to move. Behind her she heard some guys walking past. They wolf whistled at her and came in her direction.

"Oh crap." she thought and willed her body to move. She scrambled up and tried to head towards the exit of the alley.

""Where are you going beautiful?" One of the guys said.

"Don't go, we haven't had any fun yet!" the second one added.

"No, I have to get home." Clary croaked

"Just let me go, please."

"Oh look, she's begging, how sweet." The first guy said.

The group was quickly closing in on her.

"I like it when they beg, turns me on like hell." and a third man grabbed her arm, turning it painfully to her back.

Clary screeched and tried to pull away, only to feel every muscle in her arm scream in protest.

"Do that again, and I'll break your arm pumpkin." A growling voice said from behind her. Clary whimpered, but kept still.

The guy's hands were roaming her body, making her gag.

Suddenly, there was a scuffle behind her, and the muffled thump of flesh on flesh resonated in her eardrums. The grip on her arm disappeared so suddenly that Clary lost her balance and smacked down on the pavement.

She noticed that two guys were bashing into the group that had threatened her.

A few minutes and they had all dispersed, running like the devil was chasing them.

"Clary! Clary, are you alright?"

Clary sighed in relieve when she recognized Jace's voice.

"Jace? Yeah, I'm ok I think. He just hurt my arm."

"I'm so sorry Clary! I couldn't find you any sooner. It wasn't until you screamed that I knew where you were."

"It's not your fault Jace, really! Thank you for helping me out though." Clary said, and turned around. She then noticed the second guy who had helped her.

"Thank you." She said, and he nodded.

"You are most welcome. I was just around the corner when I saw this young man racing towards you. Though he could use the help." he said, and smiled.

"I'm Magnus by the way."

"Clary, and this one here is Jace."

"My car is just down the street, why don't I drive you two home?"

"Oh no, really, we don't want to trouble you." Jace said

"I insist, please, just follow me."

And with that, Magnus brought Jace and Clary to Jace's place.

"Jace!" Alec said when the car pulled up the driveway and Jace got out of the car.

"What happened?"

Jace turned around, furious.

"Are you seriously asking this Alec? Seriously? Just get out of my way, please, before I make you." and he turned back to the car. He lifted Clary from the seat and carried her, bridal style, into the house.

"Magnus, do come in. You deserve a drink after everything you did!" Jace said over his shoulder.

"Clary, how are you feeling?"

"I'm ok Jace, really. Just don't blame Alec."

"Really? Of course I blame him. He never should have said all that stuff to you. It's his fault you ran away and ended up in that alley."

"Where did she end up Jace?" Alec asked from the door.

"Why would you care Alec? You are the one who made this happen."

"I never meant for Clary to get hurt. You know that Jace."

"Yeah sure, but if you hadn't been so rude to her, she wouldn't have run. Do you want to know where I found her? I'll tell you. She ended up in the alley behind that shady Italian restaurant. And some of its customers got a hold of her. Happy now, are you?"

Alec looked thunderstruck and slightly green.

"Oh God, Clary I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."

Clary looked away. She didn't want Alec to really feel guilty but right now she wasn't able to say that to him.

"Alec, why don't you come with me." Magnus said suddenly.

"Let's talk a bit and give Jace and Clary some time alone. Come on, let's get us a drink. Lead the way."

Alec just nodded, dumbfounded and Magnus followed him out the door.

Somehow, the two boys leaving the room seemed to flip a switch for Clary. All the pent up emotion from the last hour just came spilling out. Jace pulled her close and hugged her. He stroked her back making no nonsense sounds trying to soothe her. Her fear was palpable, it radiated off her. It took every bit of restraint he had not to break down with her. His own feeling of panic when he had heard her scream nearly overwhelmed him again.

In the kitchen meanwhile Magnus had poured Alec a drink and was looking at him over the rim of his glass.

"Alec, what on earth happened?" Magnus asked softly.

"Please tell me this has nothing to do with our conversation earlier today?"

Alec didn't speak, he just looked at Magnus.

"Alec! Talk to me! We need to figure this out."

"I don't know Magnus. I really don't know. She showed up unexpected and I just snapped. I never thought she'd get in trouble like that."

"Of course you didn't expect that, but even so, you should never have done this. You can't let an argument between us result in something like this. I get you were upset by the things I said to you, but this, Alec?"

"I'm sorry Magnus, really, but how can I tell Clary this? She'll hate me and she'd have every right to do so."

Give her some time now. Afterwards talk to her. Apologize and try to tell her why you reacted the way you did. You've lived in secret and fear for far too long already Alec. Let it out. No one will judge you, and if they do, they're not worth your time.

"Alec? Jace?" Isabelle's voice came from the hallway.

"You guys home?"

"We're here." Jace called from the living room. Clary was still cuddled up against his side, wrapped in a blanket.

"Jace, do you know where…" Isabelle began when she opened the door, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Clary.

"Clary! What happened to you?" she said, rushing forward to hug her friend.

"I'm ok Izzy, don't worry. I just took a wrong turn on my way home and ended up in a wrong alley. I was lucky Jace and Magnus came by. They helped me out."

"She was in the alley behind Restorino's." Jace said and Izzy paled.

"Oh Clary, really, this could have turned out really badly! I'm glad that you seem to be fairly ok."

Behind Isabelle's back Jace looked questioningly to Clary, who subtly shook her head. She didn't want Isabelle to know what Alec had said. It was obvious to her that he felt really bad about it and he didn't need anyone else nagging at him about it. Jace would do that enough.

He sighed, but nodded back at her. Although he didn't agree, he wouldn't tell Isabelle what had happened when Clary didn't want him to.

"Can I stay for the night?" Clary asked.

"Luke and my mom aren't home and I really don't feel like being alone tonight."

"Of course you can." Alec's voice came from the door. I wouldn't want you to be alone at a time like this. I'm really sorry for what happened."

"Don't worry about it Alec. I'm ok, really."

Alec smiled at her and left the room, taking Magnus by the hand. He needed some distractions and knew Magnus could provide.

"Izzy, could I borrow some clothes? I'd like to take a shower and then go to bed I think. I feel exhausted."

"Sure, I'll get you some jammies for the night and some clothes for tomorrow. How long are Luke and your mom away?"

"Oh, they won't be back till Monday, so another three days before they're back."

"You should stay here for that time." Jace said.

"It's not right for you to be alone right now."

"Thanks Jace,that'd be really nice. I'll see you in a bit after the shower."

With that Clary and Isabelle went upstairs and Jace was left alone in the living room. Hey thought back to the events from that day. He remembered the distraught look on Clary's face when she'd nearly run him over. The anger he had felt when Alec told him what had happened just moments before. And worst of all, the fear tearing through him when he had heard her scream in the alley. He had never thought he would feel that kind terror ever again. It reminded him painfully of the day that he and his mother had come home to find his father murdered at the bottom of the stairs. His mother's screams had resonated through his head for months on end. The despair and sorrow so evident.

Clary's screams had brought it all back, so immensely forceful that it knocked the breath out of him just thinking about it. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the everyday sounds around him. The birds in the garden, the wind through the trees, the water of the running shower. It calmed him a little and he got the control back over his breathing.

He stayed like that for quite a while, just sitting on the floor, his back against the sofa, his eyes closed.

"Jace? Are you ok?"

Clary sat next to him, her hand on his arm.

He hadn't heard her coming in. He hadn't even noticed the shower stopping.

"Yes, I'm all right. You shouldn't worry about me, silly." he said, smiling.

"I do worry about you. I've seen the look on your face when you rescued me. You looked like you'd seen a ghost. And I'm really sorry for causing you any distress."

"I'm fine, really. It's just hard hearing a friend scream like that. And it brought back a lot of memories. But that's in the past now. It'll be better by tonight."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not right now. I'm starving, so let's get some food on the table, shall we? And do you know where Izzy is?"

"She said she'd be down in a minute."

"Perfect. I'm not a great cook, but if you don't mind spaghetti Bolognese, I'll fix us dinner."

"I'd love to. Let me set the table."

Despite the eventful day, they had an amiable evening of eating, talking and watching movies. It was late by the time they all decided to go to bed.

"Night Jace." Clary said from the doorway of Isabelle's room.

"And thanks again for everything."

"Sleep tight Clary, and you're most welcome. I did what anyone would have done." Jace said, and he turned into his room.

Clary crawled under the comforter in the spare bed and closed her eyes.

It felt only like minutes later that she woke up, smothering a scream in her pillow.

Her breathing was heavy and her heart was racing against her ribs.

The dream had been terrible and had felt so very real. She was back in the alley, the guys were advancing on her, but this time, Jace hadn't been there to save her.

Sighing she drew back the blanket and quietly left the room. Isabelle was still fast asleep and she didn't want to wake her up.

She slipped down the stairs and toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. She knew trying to get back to sleep was futile at the moment.

"Clary?" a voice sounded from the living room.

"Jace? What are you doing up?" Clary said surprised.

"I could ask you the same thing." Jace smiled. "But I think I might know the answer already. Bad dream?"

"Yeah." Clary sighed. "It's pointless trying to get back to sleep right now. So I thought I'd get something to drink.

"Now how about you? What brought you down here at two in the morning?"

"Nightmare, same as you I guess. It's happened before, although it's been a while."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's not a lot to say about it really." Jace said, deliberately looking the other way.

"Do you actually know how I came to live here? I mean, you know I'm not really related to Izzy and Alec, don't you?"

"Izzy mentioned that, yes, but we never really talked about it though. She just said that, when you were ten or eleven I think, you came to live with them."

"That is indeed the basic story. The reason I came to live here though is that, at the age of ten, me and my mother found my father dead at the foot of the stairs in our house. He'd been murdered. And shortly after that, my mother disappeared. They never found a trace of where she might have gone to. It seemed like she was just wiped from the earth. I know for sure she didn't leave on her own account, but there is no prove for that theory. Maryse and Robert Lightwood had been family friends for a while already and had helped me and my mom out after my dad died. They offered to take me in so I wouldn't end up in the foster system. I gladly accepted because I didn't want to leave this area or go to a place with no friends. There was one other family friend who offered the same, but he was rejected because he's a single guy, no relationship and no children of his own. They obviously thought that the Lightwoods were the better choice, and I can't say that I disagree. They have always been there for me, never judging."

"I'm so sorry Jace. That must have been a terrible time for you."

"It's a long time ago, and I've had a really good support system. The events of today just brought everything back up. That's all. Give it a few days and things will get back to normal again."

"I hope so." Clary said.

" I'm sure it will. I think I'll go back to bed. Try to catch some sleep after all." and he started towards the stairs.

"Jace?" Clary said softly.

"Yeah Clary, what's up?"

"I don't want to be alone tonight. It freaks me out right now. Could you stay with me?"

"Sure, you want to stay here in living room or go to my room. It's got a double bed."

"Bed sounds far more comfortable to me." Clary smiled.

"Let's go then." Jace said and he took her by the hand.

Together they went upstairs, cuddled up in bed, one next to the other, and fell soundly asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N So here goes another chapter! Hopefully you'll enjoy it and please please please review!_**

 _VI_

"Simon! Simon! Over here!"

It had been a few days since the events in the alley and the holiday had started.

Simon had come over to stay at Clary's house for a week and Clary had gone to pick him up at the train station.

"Clary! How are you?" Simon said when he had made his way through the crowd.

"I'm fine Simon, thanks. How're you?"

"I'm all right! Happy to see you again! It's been too long!"

"I know! It's been ages! Come on, Luke is waiting in the car. I've got loads planned for you!"

"Awesome! Can't wait Fray!"

Together they trudged off to the car and Luke gave Simon a warm welcome as always.

In no time they were at the house and Simon had installed himself in the spare bedroom.

They were lying next to each other on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"So, how has it been here for you? Made any new friends?" Simon asked, tilting his head so he could see Clary.

"Yes, I made some really good friends. You'll meet them soon. We're going over for a movie marathon tomorrow if that's ok with you."

"Sure, I'd love to meet them."

"Great! I'm sure you'll love them!"

Things had been a little awkward since the events in the alleyway.

Alec had been doing his best to be nice to her, Izzy had been fussing over her, making sure she was ok and Jace had just stood by, always there, a bit like a shadow. Clary tended to put up a brace face whenever she was with company, but she had the nagging feeling that Jace could see straight through it. He never said anything, but she felt his gaze on her whenever she tried to block her emotions.

"Are you ok?"

Simon brought her out of her reverie and looked worried.

"What? Oh yeah, sorry."

"You completely zoned out. What happened?"

"Just rethinking stuff. I had a less than happy experience a few days ago. It gets to me sometimes."

"Why? What happened?"

"Just ran into some idiots who thought they could have their way with me. Jace and Magnus came up to me just in time. Nothing really happened, but it keeps getting in my head." Clary sighed.

"That sounds awful." Simon said, his eyes wide.

"Don't tell mom or Luke, they don't know."

"Why not? They should know! Luke's a cop, he can do something about it."

"He can't Simon, I don't have an identification for any of them. And Jace and Magnus would get into trouble too because they hit the… well you get it, don't you?"

"I do, but I'm not sure it's the right thing though."

"I am, just leave it be. I'm fine most of the time."

They ambled off in amiable conversation, just like they used to have. And before either of them noticed, they had fallen asleep, one next to the other, fully dressed, on top of the bedcovers.

Jace lay awake that night, looking up at the ceiling of his room.

Ever since the run in with the guys in the alley he had been worried about Clary. She was a little withdrawn, trying to be brave and not show how much the events affected her. He knew she hadn't told anyone about it, but he wasn't sure it was the best thing to do. He would just have to keep an eye out for her, just in case.

She would come over the next day with her old time friend Simon. He was curious to who the guy would be, and how it was that, being her all time best friend, they hadn't ended up together. He didn't complain, but it did frazzle him a bit. But then again,maybe it was like with him and Izzy. More brother and sister than anything else.

His phone buzzed on the bedside table. Sighing he picked it up and read the text.

~Tomorrow, 7pm ~ was all it said.

His insides instantly fell like lead and he had a strong urge to throw up.

He rolled over and tried to calm his breathing and control his heart rate. There was no use in losing sleep over it now. Her have to find a good excuse to be late at the movie marathon and hope the physical evidence could be masked.

"Hey Izzy!" Clary called when she opens the front door.

"Hi Clary!" a voice came from upstairs.

"I'll be down in a minute."

"Come in Simon, this way." Clary said and she pulled Simon by his arm to the living room. Izzy had clearly been busy preparing. There were cushions scattered on the floor on top of the mattresses she had put down before the couch. Boxes of snacks and drinks were stacked against the wall next to a huge pile of blankets.

"Wow, she really went out of her way." Simon said.

"Yeah, Isabelle loves this kind of stuff. She always goes completely overboard.

"Oh hey Alec! Didn't hear you come in. Simon, this is Alec Isabelle's older brother. Alec, this is Simon, my oldest friend."

Clary introduced the guys and left them to chat so she could go find Isabelle.

"Hi Izzy, need some help?" Clary said when she found Isabelle in her room, nearly buried beneath a pile of clothes.

"No, no I'm fine. Just found what I was looking for." she said and came up for air.

"Good! I thought I might have had to rescue you from this humongous clothing beast." Clary laughed.

"I haven't seen Jace yet, isn't he around?"

"He'll be home in a bit. Some guy from class, Brian I think it was, needed help with an assignment he had to finish before leaving on holiday. So he called Jace and he went over. Let's hope he'll be home soon."

Jace took a few deep breaths before opening the front door and walking in. Going to Valentine's that night had been one of the hardest things he'd done in quite a while. He desperately wanted to stay home, see Clary and make sure she was all right. Valentine had noticed and had taken his displeasure out on him any way he could. Jace's back was on fire and he felt ready to faint. For the first time in a very, very long time, Valentine had managed to make him cry out. He hated himself for it, felt weak and useless, but he knew that it couldn't have been helped. Valentine had been vicious, he had wánted him to cry out and had kept going until he had gotten his wish.

Jace shook his head, trying to clear it and went inside. There was laughter coming from the living room and he heard a voice he didn't recognize.

Simon, of course, he'd almost forgotten that Clary would bring her best friend along. He peaked inside the room and saw Clary, Isabelle and Simon sitting happily on the floor talking and trying to decide what movie to watch first.

"Hi Jace!" Clary said when she saw him standing in the hallway.

"Hi there!" he replied

"Let me freshen up and I'll join you in a bit."

He tried to sound cheerful and hoped he would deceive Clary. He didn't want her to be worried about him.

He dragged himself upstairs and into the shower. The water going down the drain turned bright red and he grunted with the pain of the water streaming down his bruised and battered back.

Over the past years Jace had managed to find different ways to cope with the physical evidence of Valentine's treatment. Layering shirts, just to make sure the blood of any opening welts wouldn't soak through, always wearing black, so the red stains wouldn't show. Tonight, he just bandaged his entire torso to stop the bleeding. He had several hours ahead before he might be able to excuse himself to go to bed. If he didn't fall asleep in the living room that was.

Clary sat on one of the mattresses on the floor watching a soppy love story. Behind her, Simon and Isabelle were sitting on the couch. With a hidden smile she noticed how both of them tended to slowly inch towards each other during the movie. They had taken an instant liking to each other when she had introduced them. It was rather funny to see Simon blundering about. He'd never been exactly smooth around girl, but put him in a room with someone he really liked and you got the best really TV you could ask for.

But what most surprised Clary was the fact that Isabelle too seemed out of sorts. The always overly confident Izzy was lost for words in close proximity to Simon. It was simply hilarious.

A noise in the hallway caught Clary's attention and, thinking it might be Jace, she looked up. To her surprise however it was Alec, standing, slightly awkward in the doorway. He gestured to her, making her to come over.

Clary got up and walked over. She followed Alec to the kitchen where he sat and poured them both a drink.

"How are you, Clary?" he asked

"I'm all right Alec, thank you. How are you?"

"I'm ok I guess. Been feeling really bad about what happened to you though. It really was my fault. I shouldn't have snapped at you. It were my own problems that got the better of me and I never should have let them spill out like that. I'm so very sorry Clary."

"Oh Alec, don't beat yourself up over it. It happened, but we'll get through it. I don't blame you.

"Do you want to talk about it? About what made you snap?"

"I don't know. I feel like such an idiot now. It was something Magnus said to me earlier that day. It had me all worked up and frazzled and for some stupid reason it blew when you came here."

"You knew Magnus before he came to drop me and Jace off?"

"Yes… I… I know him. But no one here knows that."

"Ok… you kind of lost me there. Why wouldn't anyone know about you and Magnus being friends?"

"Well… I just don't feel comfortable about it."

Alec looked down at his hands, at a loss for what to say next. Clary looked at him,unsure how to continue. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable, he didn't meet her eyes, was fidgeting with his hands,... Clary had a suspicion what this was about, but wasn't sure how to bring it up.

Eventually deciding to just jump in straight ahead she said:

"Alec, do you mean that you and Magnus are more than just friends? Are you seeing each other?"

Alec's head shot up, his face a shade of bright red.

"Did you know?" he asked, voice shaking.

"I had a suspicion, yes. And I have a faint feeling that there might, at some point, have been feelings for Jace too. And that might well be the reason you lashed out at me. But I also think that something happened that day between you and Magnus, which contributed to the harshness of our encounter."

Alec buried his face in his hands and turned a bit away from Clary. She could hear him breathing hard and his shoulders heaved a little.

When he looked back up at her, his cheeks were wet.

"You are right." he whispered

"Both about me seeing Magnus and about us having had a row that day. Me and Magnus have been going out for quite a while now, but I haven't had the heart to tell anyone yet, least of all my parents. They are very traditional and I'm afraid they won't accept it. Magnus had told me that day that I should talk about it. Be honest to Izzy and Jace and to my parents. It scared the hell out of me and I was really angry at him for putting me on the spot.

"And yes, I have had feelings for Jace, although over time they developed into more normal brotherly feelings. I have seen him get hurt by girls several times, and I don't want that again for him. I know that isn't your intention, but the whole situation is seriously scaring me out of my wits.

"And I think that, all those pent up feelings and frustrations just exploded that day. And again, I'm really very very sorry about it."

"Oh Alec, it's ok. I'm really glad you told me about it. And maybe we can find a way to get you to talk about it to your family. Although, if you just invite Magnus over for a movie night or so, it'll be clear to Izzy and Jace very soon. You wouldn't have to talk about it, just show them. And you can tackle the parent-problem later."

"Thank you Clary, really." Alec said, and got up and hugged her.

By the time Clary got back to the living room Simon and Isabelle had snuggled up together on the couch.

She found Jace half lying on the floor next to the spot she had occupied before.

He smiled at her and she popped down in front of him.

"How are you?" he asked softly.

"I'm ok, thanks. And you? You look tired"

"I'm am right. Haven't slept well the past nights, so yeah, I'm tired. But don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Just need a few decent night's sleep, that's all."

Clary smiled at him, but she still looked a little worried. Jace's face was a little drawn, like he was in pain.

"Did you already eat?" she asked

"No, not yet. But I'll get something later." Jace replied.

"That's ok, I'll go get you some soup. It's the French union soup you like so much."

"Oh yum!" Jace said with a smile

"Is there any toast and cheese to go along with that?"

"Of course." Clary laughed and she got up to get him a bowl of soup, some grated cheese and a pack of toast.

Jace ate with gusto, wolfing the soup down in record time. He had been hungry, but too tired and sore to get up again. He'd planned on just eating the snacks Izzy had put out to quench most of his hunger. But Clary's offer of soup had been heaven sent. "Thank you." he said, when he had finished.

"It was really nice."

"Don't mention it. I just figured you'd like it."

"I did, thanks. You know me too well."

"I practically live here Jace, it'd be terrible if I didn't at least know a little bit about you wouldn't it?"

"Ok, touché." Jace said and got up to bring the bowl back to the kitchen.

Getting up hurt, and his face tightened at the movement.

Clary noticed his difficulties and frowned.

"Are you alright Jace?"

"Yeah, nothing to worry about. Just a bit sore. I think I ended up tangled in bed or something, it'll be over soon enough." Jace said flippantly, waving her concern away.

But Clary was having none of it.

Looking over her shoulder she saw Isabelle and Simon huddled on the couch with eyes only for each other.

They wouldn't notice her leaving so she got up and followed Jace out of the living room.

She stopped at the doorway of the kitchen though.

Jace stood at the counter, his hands flat on the surface, head bowed, shoulders heaving with a heavy breathing she associated with trying to manage a lot of pain.

Every part of his features radiated pain, sorrow and disturbing amount of fragility.

The sight caught Clary so off guard that it made her stagger.

She stood there a moment, trying to gather herself.

"Jace?" she said softly, but he didn't react.

He seemed so lost in his thoughts, his own world.

Clary stepped into the kitchen and approached Jace carefully until she stood next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

He jumped and pulled away, fear in his eyes.

"It's just me." Clary said, withdrawing her hands quickly.

Jace relaxed a bit, but his eyes were still a bit weary, not quite at ease yet.

"I'm sorry I scared you."

"Oh no, don't worry. I'm sorry for zoning out on you. I didn't think you'd come here."

"I know, it's ok. But Jace… I'm worried about you. You're hurt, in more ways than one, and I kind of have the feeling you're not talking about it to anyone."

"I'm alright Clary, really. I'm just really tired and that's why I zoned out like that."

"I'm not talking about you zoning out, I don't mind that one bit. I am talking about you hurting physically. I saw the look on your face when you got up just now, and it's not the first time I noticed things like that. You tend to avoid physical contact at times and so often there's a haunted look in your eyes, enough to give me nightmares if I were to linger on them.

"Something is seriously troubling you and you're not talking about it. Please Jace, please let someone help. I'm willing to listen if you want, or talk to a counsellor at school if you must. But the way I see it, this can't go on much longer."

Jace look at her, his face blank and his eyes very dark.

Without another word he turned around, stalked passed Clary and ran out of the kitchen up the stairs. She could hear a door banging shut above her head.

Clary stood stunned and frozen in the middle of the kitchen.

She slowly turned towards the sink, where Jace had stood to wash the soup bowl.

Something caught her eye though which made her stop dead in her tracks.

On the white countertop, just next to the sink, stood a bright red handprint, just there where Jace had been moments earlier.

 **A/N  
So? How did you like it?**

 **Please review! I really need your opinions!**

 **Lots of Love!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N So here I am again with a new chapter.**

 **I hope you still like reading it and leave me some reviews!**

 **Lots of love!**

VII

Jace stood in his room, looking out of the open window.

The confrontation with Clary had left him rattled to the bone.

He knew she was right, but the fact that she had seen so completely through his facade when even Alec or Isabelle had never done that in all those years… He didn't know what to think off that.

His behaviour hadn't changed since she had come into his life, if anything, he thought he'd been even more careful around her.

But it seemed that just didn't do the trick and Clary had been far more perceptive than he had anticipated.

Over the past six years he had carefully constructed a strong wall around himself. Learning, even before that, to keep his face straight, not to show too much emotion, weakness or pain. He had learned how to conceal the obvious signs of the abuse and to keep his distance from people when coping got too difficult.

It had all worked so well, and now his whole world had been turned upside down.

He didn't resent Clary for it, but it did make the whole situation far more difficult, something he didn't like.

Finally he went to bed, popping down on his belly so as to avoid his battered back.

He didn't know how to go from here.

Should he tell Clary? But then, what could she do against Valentine? It would probably just put her in danger, he thought sadly.

Clary had cleaned the soup bowl and the counter top with shaking hands. Something was seriously off and she didn't have any idea what that might be. Jace was hurt, and not just a little bit judging by the bloody handprint he had left in the kitchen.

She was pretty sure that neither Alec or Izzy knew anything about it. But how was that even possible? They lived under the same roof and if Clary could see the changes in Jace's behavior, surely so could they.

Unless of course they had never seemed out of the ordinary for them. If this had been going on long enough, they might have put it down to the death of his father and disappearance of his mother.

Clary's stomach clenched at the idea of this kind of abuse going unnoticed for so long.

Just as she wanted to make her way back to the living room Alec appeared in the hallway.

"Clary?" he asked

"Are you ok?"

"Oh, yeah… I guess so."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"I just had a very strange encounter with Jace, that's all. I think he went up to bed now."

"I guess so, yes. I heard his bedroom door close in any case. But what do you mean by a strange encounter?"

"I'm not really sure. He just acted really funny, distracted and he seemed to be in pain." Clary sighed.

She hadn't been planning on telling anyone, but with Alec turning up unexpected, she just blurted it out.

"Jace had always been a little withdrawn at times. You know, when his past catches up with him. He's been like that ever since he came to live with us. It used to be really frequent and we kind of learned to leave him be when he went into that mindset.

"I get why you are worried, but I'm not sure that's really necessary though."

"Oh…"

"But I'll keep an eye out, just in came something might be the matter after all. Thanks for telling me."

"No problem, and thanks for looking out for him. You really are the best brother he could have Alec."

So she had been right about one thing, the changes went so far back that to Alec and Isabelle it wasn't strange at all.

That meant that, whatever was going on here, had been happening for over five or six years. It made Clary want to throw up.

She felt so angry and confused at the thought, but most of all it made her feel very sorry and sad for Jace, who had to go through it all on his own.

She couldn't fathom how lonely and abandoned he must feel.

She wanted to go up to his room and comfort him, but she didn't.

Instead she went back to the living room where Simon and Izzy were waiting for her to pick a new movie.

The randomly picked a DVD out of the box and handed it to Simon. She wasn't in the mood for it, but felt she had to keep up appearances for Jace's sake.

At some point during the fifth movie of the night Clary had finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep. Simon and Isabelle had been asleep for a while already, but Clary's head had been spinning and sleep had eluded her.

Now however she had jerked awake, her mind apparently still on high alert even in sleep. She heard the soft padding of bare feet in the hallway and saw the light of the kitchen flip on.

Swaddling herself in her blanket Clary got up and went to the kitchen to have a look.

As she had expected, she found Jace there, rummaging through the fridge.

He turned around when he heard her coming through the door and smiled.

"Hey Clary, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"That's ok, I don't mind. How are you feeling now?"

"Better, thanks. And I'm sorry for storming out earlier. I just needed some time."

"That's ok, I guess. You gave me quite a scare though. Do you want to talk about it?"

Jace sighed and pulled a chair out from under the table. He plopped down on it, face in his hands and slowly shook his head.

"I don't know Clary. I'm sorry, I really don't."

"Jace," Clary said, sitting down next to him.

"You have to talk to someone, please."

"I can't." his voice came muffled from between his hands.

"Why not? Jace you are hurting, being hurt by someone I think, this isn't ok."

Jace didn't say anything, he just shook his head more vigorously as if trying to convince not just Clary, but also himself, that he couldn't speak.

"Oh for the love of God Jace, you left a bright, brilliant, blood red handprint on the countertop earlier this evening!" Clary said in desperation.

"I saw that, I cleaned it up after you left and before Alec came in."

"You need help and you need it quickly. There is no way you can't agree to that! Please, just let somebody help you."

Jace's head shot up and he looked at her through bloodshot eyes.

"Did you tell Alec?" he blurted out.

"About the blood?"

"No, I didn't. Didn't think you'd like that. But maybe I should have. Because then you'd have to get some help."

"Please don't tell him." Jace whispered, desperation in his voice.

"Please…"

There was so much pain in those few words that tears came to Clary's eyes.

She reached out and took Jace's hand in hers. His fingers closed automatically around hers, holding on for dear life.

He bowed his head until it rested on their enclosed hands and Clary could feel hot tears rolling off her fingers.

She tangled her free hand in his hair and pulled him closer to her. He obliged seeking refuge in her embrace.

"I won't tell them, I promise." she whispered, and she felt him relax a little.

"I'm sorry" he said softly

"I know this must seem insane to you, but I can't talk about it. I hope one day I can, but right now… there's just too much at stake. I can't explain it properly, but I promise Clary that if one day I'm able to talk about it, I'll tell you."

"Thank you Jace. I won't pry, and I won't tell anyone. But I want you to promise me one thing."

Jace looked up at her, eyes still bright with tears, but a little calmer now.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Promise that, if you ever have a time like tonight again, when you feel you can't cope on your own, that you'll come to me. I won't ask questions, you don't have to talk about it or say anything at all, but at least you don't have to be alone. Do you think you can do that? Either here or at my place, I don't care, alright?"

Jace nodded.

"I think I can do that." he said, before pulling her close to him again and whispering "Thank you." in her hair.

That night they slept side by side in the living room, close together and sharing a blanket.

The next morning they were woken by clattering in the kitchen and the smell of fresh brewing coffee.

Isabelle and Simon looked a little sheepish realising they had spend the night cuddled up next to each other.

Clary and Jace both stretched and yawned on the floor, teasing the other two.

A few minutes later Magnus walked through the door holding a try stuffed with breakfast. Coffee, tea, cereals, toast, and whatever else one could wish for.

He was promptly followed by Alec who held a similar tray in his hands.

They pushed all the rubbish off the table, settled the breakfast in it's place and then plopped down comfortably next to Clary, who smiled covertly to Alec.

He seemed to be following her advice and she was happy for him.

Magnus was a really nice guy and he and Alec fit together perfectly.

"So, how was movie night?" Magnus asked.

"It was nice." Clary smiled,

"Simon and Isabelle got along very well. Didn't you guys?"

Everyone laughed when both friends turned beetroot red and stumbled out some incoherent words.

"How was your night Magnus?" Clary asked in return.

"Oh it was very fun. Went out with Alec, met up with some other friends, you know." Magnus said and looked at Alec with a very special look in eyes.

Clary noticed how both Isabelle and Jace flashed looks at each other that were somehow far more understanding than Clary had expected. She looked over to Alec and saw a look of immense relief in his eyes. Clary quickly squeezed Alec's hand and then settled herself more comfortably next to Jace. She slipped her arm behind his back and pulled him a little closer, just for the sake of companionship and support. He leaned into her a little, silently acknowledging her intentions and showing his gratitude.

"Any plans for today?" Alec asked.

"I was going to show Simon around town and catch up a bit. We haven't seen each other for a long time. Maybe we can meet each other somewhere tonight?"

"Sounds like a plan. What did you have in mind?" Izzy asked

"Just dinner somewhere. Doesn't have to be fancy, and maybe a drink afterwards."

"Sure, I'm up for that. How about you Jace?"

"Yeah, sounds good. Alec, Magnus, will you join us?"

"Probably, text us where you're going and when. We'll let you know."

"That's a deal." Clary concluded and with that she and Simon got up and prepared to leave.

Just before she went out of the door, Clary quickly pressed a small kiss on Jace's cheek, smiled and pulled the door closed behind her.

"So, you and Izzy." Clary said to Simon when they were well on their way downtown.

Simon looked at her and blushed.

"Well…" he said.

"Well yes, I like her."

"You really really really like her." Clary traded, and they both laughed.

"Yeah, I do. Too bad I'll be going home in a week."

"That doesn't have to mean anything. I'm sure you can keep it up till the next holiday, and who knows what happens then. We'll be going to college then."

"We're going to the same college actually. I just got accepted to NYU." Simon said happily.

"Really? That's awesome Simon! I applied too but I didn't hear back yet. But Izzy did then?"

"Yeah, she got her letter last week she told me."

"Did she say anything about Jace? Did he apply? We never really discussed it before."

"No, she didn't say anything about him. Sorry. But then again, what's between the two of you?"

"Nothing really, we're friends."

"Yeah right." Simon said, rolling his eyes at Clary.

"The way you two were cuddled up this morning doesn't leave all that much to the imagination."

"I'm serious Simon." Clary said a little indignantly

"Me and Jace are just friends. Yes we are close and yes, when things got bad for me with the whole situation in the alley, he was there for me when the nightmares would be too hard to cope with. So whatever it is you think you're seeing here, get it out of your mind."

"Wow Fray, don't get your knickers in a twist. I was just teasing you know. I think that, if you had been dating Jace I'd have known by now. You're not the kind of person to keep that silent, not for me anyway."

"You've got a point there. Besides, I don't think Jace is at all interested in me that way and next to that he's having a really hard time, so I doubt there's time to spare for trivial things like a girlfriend right now."

"Maybe you can fool others here into believing what you just said, but you don't fool me Clary." Simon said.

They had arrived at a small cafe and each pulled out a chair.

"What do you mean?" Clary said, trying to sound off hand.

"You care about Jace a lot, but, you also really like him. I've seen you look at him and I saw your face just now. You don't want to care because you know that, right now at least, there is no chance at a relationship. But you do care, and you care a lot by the looks of it."

Clary sighed, looking down at her hands.

"I know. You're right Simon, I do care, a lot. But it's frustrating knowing nothing can come of it." Clary said sadly.

"It really hurts, but the thing is, I know he also needs a friend, especially now because he's having a really hard time. He won't talk about it but I know it anyway. And that hurts even more. It kills me to see him so unhappy and there is hardly anything I can do. I can't fix it, I can't make it better or make it go away."

"No, you can't." Simon said softly.

"But you can do something else."

"Like what?"

"Just be there for him. Let him know that, whenever he needs you, you'll be there, without question."

"I already told him that, yesterday when we talked."

"Good, and right now that's the only thing you can do, but also the only thing you have to do. He needs time. Just give him that and eventually he'll talk to you."

Simon took Clary's hand and squeezed it, trying to comfort her.

It was hard for him to see his friend hurting like this.

On the other hand, is was the first time that he had seen her so involved with someone else but himself. For years he had longed for something more than friendship with Clary, but at the same time he had known it would never work. It would be overly awkward to try and have a relationship with her. Something like kissing your sister. He shuddered a little at the thought.

The rest of the day went by amicably with talking, eating, drinking and just enjoying each other's company.

When eight o'clock rolled by Simon and Clary met up with the rest of their friends for dinner at a local diner. The evening flew by, as time typically does when you're having a good time.

It seemed that Alec had been talking to Jace and Isabelle during the day. He'd been honest with them about his relationship with Magnus and, just as I had told him, they'd taken him exactly the way he was. I could really feel the shift in the general emotions of our group now that this burden had been lifted from Alec's shoulders. He was more open and looked a lot happier and less stressed out. And to be fair, Magnus was an amazing asset to the group. He was fun, had a great sense of humor and could give Jace a run for his money when it came to sarcasm. It was wonderful.

When eleven o'clock rolled by it was time to pack up. Simon and Clary would head back to Clary's place for the night since they had promised breakfast with her mother and Luke. Magnus would drive the others home.

Just before they left Clary took Jace apart.

"Remember what you promised me. If you need me, please call. I have your number set in my phone so that, even when it's on silent mode, you'll still be able to reach me. So please, do as you promised." she said softly.

"I will." Jace said to her in a whisper.

"And thank you. I don't know why you do this, why this is so important to you, but I do appreciate it a lot."

"I'm doing nothing more than what you did for me when I was having a hard time. Now go, they are waiting for you."

Jace gave Clary a quick kiss before he jumped in the care and they drove off.

Simon put his arm around Clary's shoulder and together they walked away.

"You did great." Simon said to Clary.

"Thank you Simon. It's not easy, but I hope it works and that, at some point, he'll have the strength to talk about what is going on and to put a stop to it."

The rest of the holiday went by much like it had started. They met up almost every day and often they all slept over at Jace's place. The living room just remained a camping space with all the mattresses, pillows and blankets strewn around.

Clary and Jace often spend the evenings and night cuddled up close together, keeping each other's nightmares at bay.  
Simon and Isabelle grew closer together, regularly spending the days just with the two of them. And even Magnus and Alec came by a few times, enjoying their company.

The holiday was almost over and Clary had gone with Simon to drop him off at the airport.

He had to go back for the last part of the semester and then would probably spend the entire summer at Clary's, which was great to look forward to.

Clary spent the rest of the day at home with her mother chatting and getting ready for school to start again in two days.

It was a fun afternoon. It had been a while since Jocelyn had been home for a longer while during the day. The evenings during the school year were mostly spent eating quickly and then doing homework or going over to Izzy's for assignments.

It was already after nine and Clary had gone to her room to read a bit, when her phone suddenly rang.

It was Jace.

"Jace, are you alright?" Clary said immediately when she picked up.

"Not really." Jace said in a whisper. By the sound of his voice it was obvious that he didn't feel ok at all and it seemed like he had been crying.

"Do you want me to come over?"

"Could you, please?" he said

"Sure, I'll leave here in a few minutes. See you soon."

"Mom, can I go over to Izzy's? She just called."

"Sure, will you be staying the night?"

"Probably, yes, if that's ok with you?"

"Yes honey, no problem. I'll see you tomorrow for dinner, ok?"

"Yeah mom, thanks a lot!"

And with that Clary took her car and left.

She pulled up in the driveway of Jace's house and got out of the car.  
There was no light from the windows which worried her. It meant no one was home except for Jace, so that might be the reason for his breakdown.

He'd left the door unlocked so Clary got in quickly and flipped on the light.

"Jace?" she called out, but there came no reply.

"Jace? Where are you?" Clary said again, in the meantime looking through the living room and kitchen.

When she couldn't find him there she went straight up to his room.

With a soft knock on the door Clary pushed it open and went into the room. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the darkness inside and she stopped for a moment.

"Jace?" she whispered.

"Are you here?"

He didn't answer but a soft rustle behind her drew her attention.

She finally found Jace, backed away in a corner of his room between the wall and his desk.

He was shaking badly and his face was tear stained.

"Oh Jace!" Clary exclaimed and she rushed forward to hug him.

A few minutes later she managed to get him up and off to bed, where she tugged him under the blankets and snuggled up next to him. He hadn't said a word, but she had promised not to ask.

 **A/N And? What do you think? Still love the story?**

 **Let me know via review or PM!**

 **Kiss**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N So here we are again.**

 **The past few chapters have been rather eventfull, this one is a little less so.  
I still hope you like it!**

 **So please read and review!**

 **Love you all!**

VIII

It had been one hell of a night. Being home alone for the first time in a very long time, Jace had gone up to his room, wanting to read a bit and go to bed early.

The holiday had been fun, but also very busy, leaving his body not enough time to truly heal. His back was nearly back to normal, but his muscles were still sore and a few welts were only just now healing.

It had been around nine when his phone had buzzed, announcing a message.

~Saturday, 8pm ~ the message had read

Jace had stiffened, put the phone back down and tried to go back to reading. He must have fallen asleep before putting the book away, because when he woke up ,from his nightmare, screaming, the book had fallen out of his grasp with a loud *thunk*

The dream had been so realistic that he'd nearly lost it.

He'd called Clary when he'd calmed down enough to gather his wits about him and take his phone. He knew that it had taken her less than twenty minutes to get to him, but it had felt like hours. He'd heard her coming in, but he'd not been able to call out to her when she shouted his name. Fear and panic he kept him pinned to the floor, his voice useless.

Only when she'd sat down next to him,holding him close, had his body started to react again, albeit just by shaking uncontrollably.

Usually, having Clary sleep next to him kept the nightmares away, tonight it hadn't helped and he'd woken up several times from vivid and terrifying dreams. And each time Clary had been there, working through his panicked haze, helping him calm down and find his bearings.

When he woke up in the morning he noticed the empty feeling of the bed next to him. For a minute there was blind panic, the fear that Clary might have had enough and had left sometime during the night. He wouldn't blame her if she had, he knew the night had been hard on both of them, but he would miss her terribly.

But then the door of his room opened up and there she was, carrying a tray stashed with anything breakfast-worthy she'd found in the kitchen. She'd even made scrambled eggs.

"Hey." she said, when she saw him sitting up in bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Terrible, but it'll be better soon." he answered honestly

"Here's some breakfast, thought you'd like that."

"Yeah, it looks delicious. Thanks a lot! I'll just go clean up a bit and then I'll dive into it." he said, and with that, he got out of bed and went off to the bathroom.

He locked the door behind him and sighed deeply. Every muscle in his body hurt. He must have been cramped up most of the night and he felt drained and weak.

Hoping a shower would help he turned on the water and stepped in. He grunted when the hot stream hit the half healed welts on his back, but it was the only thing that might do him some good at the moment.

When he got back to his room Jace and Clary ate breakfast together.  
If Jace was honest with himself, he was impressed by Clary. She hadn't asked him a single thing, just like she had promised. He knew that must be hard, but he was immensely grateful that she kept her promise. He just wasn't ready to talk, not yet.

Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the next few days with Clary. No added drama and hopefully less nightmares.

It actually went by smoothly. Clary never strayed far from him and since Alec had come clean about him and Magnus he had changed, by far for the better. He was so much more relaxed and a lot happier.

Clary had stayed with them for another two days before she really had to go home, even if it was just to appease her mother who had gotten slightly cranky over the fact that Clary was hardly home anymore.

So with the promise of stopping by that evening Clary had said goodbye to her friends and gone home.

Isabelle, Jace, Alec and Magnus were all sitting in the living room when they heard the front door open.

It was still early, but Jace thought it might be Clary already. Turning around to face the door however he was faced with a very different sight.

Robert and Maryse, their parents, had come home rather unexpectedly.

They usually called a few days in advance to let their children know they were coming.

"Mom, dad!" Jace said surprised

"We didn't know you were coming home. How has your trip been?"

"It's been fine dear." Maryse said.

"We were supposed to fly directly to our next assignment, but the previous one ended a little earlier than expected, size divided to drop by for a surprise visit."

"It's great to have you home mom." Isabelle said and she hugged her mother and father.

Alec too got up to say hello to his parents and Jace followed suit.

"How is Max?" Jace asked.

Max was the youngest Lightwood. He was nine and went to boarding school since his parents were away so often. During holidays he usually stayed with them, so there was limited contact between all the siblings.

"He's doing fine." Robert answered. "He has good grades, works hard, he's a good kid really."

"That's great. We miss him." Replied Jace. "Let's get you all something to drink, shall I?" he said and went to the kitchen, took a tray and poured drinks for everyone.

He was just about to enter the living room again when he heard raised voices from his parents.

"What is the meaning of this?" Robert's voice boomed through the room.

It was Alec who responded.

"What do you mean by this, father? The meaning of what, exactly?"

Jace softly pushed the door open and went inside. Alec and Magnus were standing in front of the couch, holding hands. Their parents stood on the other side of the coffee table, eyes wide, anger and disbelief etched on their faces.

Jace put the tray he was holding on the table and went to stand next to Alec.

He'd known something like this might happen. The Lightwoods were very nice people, but they were also as conservative as could be. He'd hoped, for Alec's sake, that they would put aside their ideas and just accept things as they were. By the looks of it however, they weren't able to do that.

""The meaning of this, of you holding hands with another guy! Of you, you being,..." Robert had worked himself in such a rage that words seemed to fail him. His face was beet red, a vein pulsing dangerously in his temple and beads of sweat on his brow.

"Of me being gay, dad?" Alec finished the sentence.

"That's what you want to say, isn't it?"

"Don't you say that word under our roof!" Their mother hissed.

"You're not gay, it's just an idea this guy put into your head. This isn't really you."

She turned to Magnus and said: "I want you out of this house immediately. And never set foot here again!."

"Magnus isn't going anywhere." Alec said, and he tightened his grip on Magnus's hand.

"If you plan to keep this charade going, you can leave too." Robert snapped.

"I don't want you here if you persist in this vile way of life."

"No!" Magnus said, with surprising strength in his voice and everyone's attention suddenly snapped to him.

"You don't get to put your son out of this house just because he's a little different than what you had thought him to be. And bedside that, you are never, ever around, so what does it matter that he's here, being gay, while you are always off to somewhere else."

"I don't want some sissy living in my home!" Robert shouted.

"You can hardly call this place home when you're never here to make it a home rather than a house, now can you?" Magnus replied, venom dripping from his voice.

Feeling he was losing his grip on the situation, Robert suddenly rounded on Jace and Isabelle.

"Did you know about this? Did you keep this from us?"

Isabelle took an involuntary step back, Jace just squared his shoulders and said.

"We only found out recently, Just a few days ago. But as you very well know, we don't have a problem with this. He is no different to us than he was two weeks ago or a year ago. Him being gay doesn't change who he is. He will always be my brother, no matter what."

"I think the same." said Isabelle, who had recovered a bit.

"You guys are just ganging up on us!" Maryse said, her eyes wide.

"No mom, we're not, but we just don't agree on this with you. For us nothing has changed except the fact that Alec is so much happier now. It's a relief for us really. We had noticed him withdrawing from us, being distant and irritable. Now that we know, now that there is honesty between us this have really changed for the better." Isabelle said

There was a stunned silence. Robert and Maryse just stood there, looking at their children. Jace and Isabelle stood close to Alec, clearly showing their support for their older brother. Magnus held Alec's hand tightly, and Alec squeezed back just has hard.

Just a few days ago Alec had confided in them his fear of this kind of a reaction from their parents. They had talked their way into the night, trying to think of a subtle way to let them know what was going on.

Their entire plan had gone down the drain tonight however. This was not what they had planned and Jace feared it might blow up in their face.

But whatever happened, he'd always choose Alec's side over his parents.

His brother had always been there, from the very start when he as a frightened ten year old had come to their home. He's shared his room with him for several year, been at his side when the nightmares became too bad, sat at his bedside when he'd gotten a bad bout of stomach flu one year and their parents hadn't been home.

He would never betray their bond, and certainly not over something as trivial as this.

Robert and Maryse were wrong, it was as simple as that.

Suddenly the elder couple seemed to come out of their stupor and look at the four youngsters in front of them.

"We're going, we'll spend the night at a hotel and move on from there." Maryse said.

"I don't agree with the choices you're making Alec, but we won't kick you out of the house. We'll talk about it when we get back in a few weeks."

And with that, they took their bags and walked out the door.

Alec let himself fall back onto the couch, letting go of Magnus's hand and putting his head on his knees. His shoulders were shaking with silent tears and when Magnus put his hand on Alec's back, he shook it off.

"Let me." Jace said softly to Magnus, taking his hand and moving him over to Isabelle.

"You need a drink." she said, and took firm hold of Magnus's arm and led him out to the kitchen.

"Alec?" Jace said, and he took up a spot next to his brother on the couch.

"Alec, please talk to me."

"There's nothing to say Jace, nothing at all. We knew they would react like this, and nothing we say or do will change that. They left because of me, because of what I am, an abomination, an abnormality, whatever you want to say about it."

"That's not true. You are none of the things you just said and if I ever hear you say that again you'll get the trashing of your life! Do you hear me? Never say those things again and never believe anyone who says that!" Jace said vehemently, shaking Alec by the arm.

Alec looked up at his brother with a tear streaked face and nodded meekly.

"Just give them time and they'll come to see what Isabelle, Clary and I already see. That you are no different than you were before. They took a fright, they were challenged in their own home by their own children, so yes, they left. But they will come back, and they will change their mind. And even if they don't, never forget that you'll always have me and Isabelle. Whatever choices you make, you'll never lose us! Do you believe me Alec?"

Alec nodded again, and Jace pulled him into a bone breaking embrace.

Behind them the front door opened again and Clary walked in.

"Jace? Alec? What happened?" she said worriedly.

"Our parents came home unexpectedly and saw Alec and Magnus together. It turned into a fight and they left again. You just missed them." Jace said.

"Oh Alec, I'm so sorry." Clary said, and hugged him tightly.

"Where are Isabelle and Magnus?"

"In the kitchen, getting a drink I suppose." Alec said softly.

"But I have to go talk to Magnus. I shook him off earlier and I shouldn't have."

"I'm sure he'll understand, but go ahead, just send Izzy over if you don't want her there."

Alec said his thanks to Jace and Clary and went looking for Magnus.

"Are you ok?" Clary asked Jace.

He looked tired and his face was a little drawn.

"I'm alright. It wasn't a fun conversation and it was very intense, but I'm more worried about Alec at the moment. He took it very personally, obviously, but if we're not careful he might start to believe what our parents say, and that's just rubbish."

"I know, and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"Don't worry about that, and maybe it was for the best. They already felt ganged up on with just us, it might have made things worse for Alec had there been yet another outsider, to them at least, who took a stance against them."

"You're probably right." Clary sighed and leaned back in the chair.

Jace leaned back too, his head resting on Clary's shoulder. He was happy she was back with him. He could use her support tonight, just by being there and not asking too many questions.

Isabelle came in and plopped down on the floor in front of the couch.

"That was intense." She said, to no one in particular.

"But I'm proud of how Alec handled things. That's not an easy thing to do. And Magnus really surprised me, you know, just standing up to mom and dad."

"Yeah, that did take quite a bit of courage." Jace said.

"He's a good guy and he makes Alec so happy. It's good to see them together."

"No doubt, I'm just glad Alec told us, you know. He was beginning to be unbearably irritable around us."

"He was scared." Clary said.

"He was so afraid you guys would turn him away if you knew."

"What do you mean?" Isabelle asked.

"He talked to me, at the movie night, when Simon was here the first time."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"I don't think he meant to really talk about it. It's just how the conversation went.

"He wanted to apologise for exploding at me a few weeks ago. And he tried to explain what had happened. He told me then about him and Magnus and how afraid he was and didn't know how to handle the situation."

"What did you tell him?" Jace asked.

"I told him he didn't have to be afraid of your reaction, that you two wouldn't mind. I also said that he didn't have to tell you, but rather just show you how he felt about Magnus. And that is exactly what he did, isn't it?"

"You're amazing Clary!" Isabelle said.

"Oh Izzy, I just told him the truth. He was so scared that he couldn't see that himself. He only needed a little push to find his courage. And you two reacted perfectly so he felt safe and loved.

I'm just sorry that tonight didn't work out though."

"They'll come round." Jace said.

"Just give it a little time. They were shocked and I'm sure they didn't see it coming. Let's just hope that by the time they get back here next time things have settled down again and we'll all be able to talk about it like normal people instead of shouting at each other."

Things settled down after that.

They all watched a movie together, Alec and Magnus snuggled together on the couch, Izzy splayed in the recliner and Clary lying with her head in Jace's lap, both sitting on the floor.

And despite the earlier tension of the evening they all went to bed feeling rather well.

Early next morning Jace woke up to some racket coming from the kitchen.

Rubbing sleep from his eyes he got up and went to take a look.

Looking down the hall he saw that both Alec's and Izzy's bedroom doors were still closed. They were obvious still sleeping, so who on earth was making all the noise downstairs?

It wasn't Clary, she would keep things down a bit since everyone else was still asleep. And then it dawned on him that he was hearing voices, multiple voices that were whispering.

Jace quietly went downstairs, trying to catch something that was being said.

"We shouldn't have walked out yesterday like we did, Robert." he suddenly heard, and his heart skipped.

"Mom? Dad?" Jace said when he opened the kitchen door.

"Jace? Oh honey, we didn't mean to wake you." Maryse said, turning around holding a glass of fresh orange juice.

"That's ok mom, it wasn't really you. I didn't expect you here, to be fair." Jace said, accepting the glass his mother offered to him.

"I know, and I'm sorry for yesterday. I felt awful for leaving so suddenly. It wasn't right."

"No, it wasn't, but I don't think you have to tell me that though. I think it's mostly Alec who deserves this."

He heard Robert snort behind him and turned around to face him.

"You don't agree?" Jace asked him.

"Not necessarily no. I don't think that what Alexander is doing is right. And I don't think we have to apologize to him."

"I'm sorry to hear that. On the other hand I'm glad to see that at least one of you got yourself together. Alec is a really good guy, he would do anything he could to keep everyone around him happy, even if that means he feel miserable. And trust me, he has been miserable for a very long time. He has known he is gay for a very long time, but he has always been too scared to bring it up. You should have seen the transformation he went through once he told me and Isabelle. He loves you so much dad, he would probably break up with Magnus if you insisted. But I will tell you this, I won't let that happen. If I have to choose between you and Alec's happiness, I will choose Alec every time."

"You will choose me over what, Jace?"

Jace jumped, nearly spilling his orange juice.

"Alec! I didn't hear you coming in!" Jace said.

Alec smiled at him.

"Guilty conscious Jace?"

"Never, you know me." Jace joked, trying to diffuse the situation between himself and Robert.

"Mom, dad, what made you come back? I didn't expect you two here after everything that has been said."

Jace had to admit he was impressed by how outwardly relaxed Alec appeared.

If it had been him he probably would have lost it all together just at the sight of his parents. And here was Alec, standing there, still in his pyjamas, talking very civilized to them.

There was one thing though, that betrayed his brother's internal struggle, and that was the slight flexing of his right hand. He did that whenever he was nervous or agitated.

"Maybe we should go sit down and talk, Alexander." their mother said, after a moment of silence.

Alec nodded and motioned for their parents to go ahead.

"Do you want me to be there with you?" Jace asked quietly.

"No, that's ok. I think I have to do this by myself. I overheard most of the conversation between the three of you anyway, so I know what to expect. And Jace, thank you for standing up for me."

"Always, you know that." Jace said, and patted his brother on his shoulder.

"Always." the other repeated and left the kitchen.

Jace grabbed his glass of juice and one of the bowls of cereal his parents had set out and went back upstairs.

There was no use in staying in the kitchen when there was nothing for him to do, so he decided to eat breakfast in his room.

He understood that Alec wanted to be alone with their parents. It was just between the three of them. But it made him feel uneasy, when he couldn't be there for his brother.

Alec would probably laugh at him and say he had a hero-complex, always wanting to save the day. And maybe he was right. Jace generally felt horrible when something happened that he couldn't prevent, or when he couldn't help someone who was in trouble or feeling bad.

After the attack on Clary, Isabelle'd had to get all of her tricks out to stop him going over and over the events in his mind trying to find a loop where he might have gone wrong. Maybe there had been a different road he should have taken, or called her instead of running blindly after her, or… or… For days he'd beaten himself up over it, feeling immensely guilty.

Until at some point, Isabelle had told him that, instead of putting his efforts in feeling bad, he should use that energy to be there for Clary, to comfort her and support her.

Of course she had been right, like so often.

He'd felt better, because he had a purpose, and it had brought him and Clary closer.

"Jace?"

A voice at the door pulled him from his thoughts.  
It was Clary, standing there in her pyjamas and a too large sweater on top.

"Hey Clary, come on in." He said, and scooted over to make space on his bed.

She sat next to him and accepted the glass of juice he offered.

"Thanks. Was it me or were there voices downstairs earlier?"

"It wasn't you. My parents came back this morning and were making breakfast when I woke up."

"Oh wow, I did not see that coming."

"You're not alone, I was just as surprised as you to be honest. I talked to them, then Alec came down and they went off to talk together. For now I haven't heard any China breaking, so I assume things are going alright."

"Let's hope so. I don't think a rift between Alec and your parents would be good."

"No it wouldn't be, but then Robert will have to come round quite a bit I'm afraid. And I'm not sure he's ready to do that. I hope mom and Alec can talk some sense into him.

But enough about Alec. How are you doing? Have you been sleeping alright?"

Jace looked at Clary when he changed the subject. He knew she didn't like to talk about it, but until recently she'd been having nightmares quite often.

Clary looked away for a moment, biting her bottom lip.

"It's been ok. Not perfect, but getting better. Some nights are better than others, and eventful days don't help. But it's nothing I can't handle."

She looked up at him and smiled.

"I wouldn't have been able to do this without your help though. It really meant alot to me."

"Don't mention it. I'm glad I could help and that you're feeling better now."

"I am,really. But how are you? You didn't have the easiest night…" she trailed off a little, unsure if she should keep going.

"I'm doing better." Jace said. That wasn't really true, but he didn't want to worry Clary nor did he want to think about his dreams.

It only made him dread the next night that much more.

Clary hesitated a little, but smiled after all.

"Good. Look, I have to go. Mom won't be pleased if I'm not home, again, on her day off. Will you be ok?"

"Of course, I'll be fine." Jace replied, but with a sinking feeling in his gut.

"You go home, and say hi to your mom from me!"

"I will. And thank you for breakfast." Clary laughed. And with that, she left to get ready.

Jace leaned back and watched her go. He knew he probably wouldn't see her until Monday morning at school, and he missed her already.

Clary left for home a little while later, a slight frown on her forehead.

Jace had seemed fairly happy and unconcerned for a change. But something seemed a little off anyway. There was a haunted look in eyes, and they had been sad beyond measure when she'd told him she had to go home.

But he had assured her he was ok and doing better, so she decided to believe him and put the matter aside.

Now she had to focus on getting everything ready for the surprise dinner for her mom and Luke. They would be out until that afternoon, so that gave her plenty of time to get it all done.

Passing by the supermarket and the small grocery store on her way home Clary found that for the first time in quite a while she enjoyed being out on her own. She wasn't constantly looking over her shoulder or checking the small alleys she passed.

It was a nice feeling to be sure, liberating.

When she got home Clary immediately dived into the kitchen, starting to make the chicken curry her mother loved so much.

Clary was determined to make it into a wonderful dinner with the three of them together. It had been a long time since all of them had had some exclusive family time.

Back home, it was usually Simon who would end up spending all of his time at her place. Here it was the exact opposite and Clary had noticed that is was a little hard on her mother. She wasn't used to not having her daughter around all the time. So this family meal was precious.

As on cue Jocelyn and Luke walked through the door.

"Something smells good here!" Jocelyn said, as she stuck her head around the door.

"Thanks mom! Dinner is almost ready. I'm just setting the table."

"Do you need help?" Luke asked.

"No that's ok, it's almost done. You only need to help eat it." Clary said, and laughed.

It was a wonderful evening, they talked and talked about everything and nothing.

"Clary, dinner was amazing." Jocelyn said.

"So how are Jace and Isabelle doing?"

"They are doing fine. Their parents came home unexpectedly yesterday so I guess they're having a good time."

"Oh, that's good to hear. They are gone so often and I wonder how those kids are faring."

"They're used to it, really. When they were younger the neighbours and friends would come by quite often to see if they needed anything. Now they just fend for themselves, have friends over, you know. And Alec's boyfriend Magnus is a few years older so if they need an adult he's always just around the corner."

"It seems they've got it all figured out." Jocelyn said with a smile.

"Seems like they do." Luke added.

"They're all very well behaved by the looks of it. Even being home alone so often they never get into trouble."

"I'm sure Alec keeps them in line." Clary laughed.

"He's very sweet but I think he used to be very strict with Isabelle and Jace. He's a very responsible person really."

"So I have gathered. I'm happy for you, Clary, that you managed to make such good friends. It means a lot to all of us, to see you this happy." Jocelyn said, looking fondly at her daughter.

"I know you dreaded moving here, and leaving Simon, but I hope you are happy now, making new friends."

"Yes, I am, mom. I was scared to leave everything behind, but it has been good for me I think. Meeting Izzy and Jace has been a wonderful experience. I'm happy we moved here, and knowing Simon will be here during summer only makes things better. It's going to be awesome!"

"I'm sure it will be. Now let's clear the table and finish up for the night. Will you be staying home?" Jocelyn

"I think so, yes. I didn't make any plans for tonight. It's Friday, but since Robert and Maryse are home, I suppose that I won't be hearing from them anytime soon."

"And by soon you mean before tomorrow afternoon?" Luke laughed.

"Something like that, yes." Clary shot back playfully.

They all bantered along while cleaning the dishes and by ten that evening Clary collapsed onto bed.

Just before she fell asleep she send a text to Jace

~ Sweet dreams. I hope you have a good night xoxo ~

 **A/N And that was it!**

 **I loved writing all this and can only hope you enjoyed reading!**

 **Please review!**

 **Will update again soon!**

 **Lots of love to you all!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N First of all I want to thank you all for the wonderful reviews! It really makes my day!**

 **As for this chapter, it's probably the hardest of the entire story. It's been the most difficult part to write and I can guess it's not easy to read, but, for me, it's an essential part of the story**.

 **I made a quotation at the start and the end of the hardest part for those of you who wish to skip it.**

IX

It had been a good day, overall. His parents had had a really good talk with Alec, and things seemed to go smooth again. Robert had still a long way to go before he would be truly able to accept his son just as he was. But at least he didn't want to throw him out of the house anymore.

They'd a family dinner for the first time in what felt like forever. And it had been wonderful.

It felt good to feel the warmth again of the family he had grown up in. The feeling of belonging somewhere, of not feeling out of place, Jace truly welcomed it.

Their parents would be leaving again the next morning, so they had stayed up late talking.

Jace's phone went off and he took without of his pocket.

~ Sweet dreams. I hope you have a good night xoxo ~

He smiled when he read Clary's text. It made him feel secure, knowing she was there, just a text away.

~ Sweet dreams to you too. I hope the bad dreams stay at bay. Talk soon. X ~

He pushed send and a soft beep told him the message had been received.

A few seconds later his phone buzzed again.

~ I'm sure they will. Don't forget, I'm only a phone call away if you need me. Xoxo ~

~ I won't forget. Thank you. Same goes for you. Sleep tight. X ~

"What are you smiling about?" Maryse asked, looking at her adoptive son.

It had been quite a while since she had seen a smile that sincere playing around his lips.

"Oh nothing, Just a text from Clary."

"By the look on your face it's a bit more than just a text." she coaxed.

"No really, Clary's just a really good friend." Jace replied a little evasive.

"I should head up to bed. It's getting late and wI you guys leaving early tomorrow I want to get up in time."

"Alright." Maryse said.

"Good night son." and with a kiss on his cheek she turned to put away the last dishes.

The night went by rather uneventful, according to Jace's standards. Except for a few smaller nightmares, things went quite smoothly.

He woke up well rested, went to say goodbye to his parents and decided to go out for a run. It would help clear his head of the sleepy fog that was still lingering.

He needed a clear mind for that night. He was lucky to have slept rather well. Nights like this were always worse when he was tired.

The running did help and he came home refreshed.

He spent the day reading a new book his parents had brought him the day before. They knew his thirst for new things to read and brought him an entire collection of Shakespeare's works. It was amazing hand he completely lost himself into the fictional world the writer had created. The book helped him get through the day, for he was dreading what was to come.

It was ten to seven when Jace entered the big manor house.

Valentine had left the door unlocked and wasn't there to greet Jace when he opened the door.

He walked into the hallway and then stopped dead. He heard voices coming from the parlour, and his stomach clenched. It took all his self restraint to not throw up and run for it.

Valentine had invited friends.

With lead in his shoes he started to walk up the stairs.

He was halfway up when a door down below opened and he heard Valentine say

"Not the second floor tonight Jace, go straight up to the third." and close the door again.

Jace sighed, and kept going, past the library where he was usually expected to go and up to the next floor.

He had known that he would be expected to go there the moment he had heard the voices downstairs.

The room he entered was spacious, the floor a beautiful hardwood laid in an intricate pattern. At the walls there were benches and some chairs, the middle of the room only held a table and a single chair.

Jace sat down, his legs trembling slightly and his stomach completely upset.

He had been prepared to endure Valentine's treatment tonight, but not this.

It wasn't long before Valentine entered the room.

"Stand up." he said to Jace, and Jace stood, facing the door, fists clenched at his side.

Behind Valentine he could see the others coming in, several of them unrecognizable due to sunglasses or eye masks.

They walked around them, looking eagerly at Jace, and took place on the benches.

When everyone was seated Valentine started to unbutton Jace's shirt, slowly and deliberately, pausing between each button and the next.

He suddenly grabbed Jace by the shoulders and roughly turned him around, so he faced the room, and then let the shirt slide down his arms so it fell in a black mass at his feet.

Jace closed his eyes, trying to block out his surroundings, thinking back to the text messages from Clary the night before.

He had read and re-read them over and over again, memorizing them. And now he held onto them as if they were a lifeline.

He felt Valentine place his hands on the table in front of him, bending him over slightly. He heard a desk drawer open to his left, and realized there was a cabinet there. His eyes shot open and he saw a large, slightly pudgy man with a dark red eye mask, rummage through the drawers. He picked out several items, brought them over to the table and put them in a neat line in front of Jace.

Jace breathed in deeply through his nose and blew out through his mouth trying to keep the bile down that forced it's way up his throat. It wouldn't be belt buckles tonight, it would be a lot worse and far more prolonged.

 **A/N If you're not up to reading harsh treatment of Jace by Valentine, stop reading here.**

 **I'll put up a note when this part is over so you can scip it entirely :-***

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He twitched when he felt Valentine's fingers glide over the half healed welts on his back. One finger followed the line of old scars, made by the man over the past years.

Jace could feel him revel over it, and he shuddered. Every touch made him want to throw up.

Valentine moved over to stand a Jace's right side. He signalled to one of the other men to take place on Jace's left. Both of them grabbed a hand and pinned Jace effectively in place.

The pudgy man picked on item off the table and moved behind Jace.

The swish of the whip made Jace stiffen and he grunted when the lash hit home.

"Count." Valentine hissed in his ear.

"One" Jace muttered.

Another lash came down.

"Two"

"Three"

It continued to the point where he got dizzy and almost lost track of what was happening.

Men were jeering from their spots at the edge of the room, some got up to get a better look, others sat up a little straighter. Jace's hands were clenched around the edge of the table, trying to keep his balance. His nails were making markings into the wood, leaving splinters in his fingers, but it was the only thing that kept him from crying out and giving the crowd what they wanted. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't succumb to their wishes.

He bit the inside of his cheeks repeatedly, trying to change the focus of his mind from the pain inflicted by others to the self-inflicted pain in his mouth and fingers.

It helped, but only a little bit.

The men who held his hands and the ones behind him, wielding different whips, canes and other devices changes at a rapid rate.

The room was filled with noise and it made Jace's head spin.

Suddenly the hands holding his wrists let go and Jace nearly fell over. This was prevented however when someone roughly snapped his hands together and shackled them to the table, the metal biting hard in his flesh. The position forced him with his torso flat on the table, his back completely exposed.

He felt the remainder of his clothes being discarded, leaving him naked and vulnerable.

Jace grabbed hold of the shackles to steady himself when his feet were pushed apart by a spreader bar.

He bit the inside of his cheek again and closed his eyes to keep himself from crying out in fear and protest. He tried not to struggle, but it was hard. Knowing what was coming terrified him. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks, forming a puddle beneath his face.

He opened his eyes again for a moment, only to see Valentine looking at him, a hungry look in his eyes. Jace stared at him, and he knew there was pleading in his eyes. He silently begged Valentine to stop, but the man only laughed and nodded to the bystanders.

There was a swift, unexpected, hard intrusion that caught Jace completely off guard and despite everything the boy cried out in pain, again and again and again.

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 **A/N You can safely continue from here :-***

He lost all sense of direction and time. The torture went on for what felt like forever. His throat was raw and painful from the screaming, his lips bloody from biting on them.

Tears, sweat and blood had mingled beneath his cheeks making a sticky paste that covered his face.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, it stopped. Jace lay face down on the table, his breath coming out his quick pants between sobs.

His whole body was trembling from the aftermath of the mistreatment. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to be faced with any of the men in the room.

Behind him he heard the door open and slowly everyone went out until it was just him and Valentine.

Jace sighed with relief when his wrists were freed and his feet unshackled.

"Get dressed, you can go." Valentine said and he turned around and left the room.

Jace collapsed on the floor, groping for his shirt.

His mind was reeling from the abuse and the only thing he could think of was getting out of there.

With difficulty he managed to get dressed and stumble down the stairs.

Once outside it took a moment to get his bearings as he started walking.

The way home seemed ten times longer than it usually did. He felt dizzy due to the pain and possibly the blood loss. He could feel trickles of it running down his back and his shirt moving over the welts was agony.

It took all his willpower not to pass out onto the street, he kept putting one foot in front of the other, willing himself to get home, to get to safety.

When he finally got there, he saw that all the lights were off, thank God. He snuck inside and dragged himself up the stairs and into the bathroom.

He locked the door, turned on the shower and while he waited for the water to heat he pulled out his cellphone.

~ Clary, I need you, please come over. The door is unlocked. ~ he typed and pushed send.

When he got into the shower, he sank to the floor, the hot water beating down on him and a red stream flowed towards the drain. Sitting there in the shower he tried to wash off the terrible filthy feeling that wouldn't leave him, even after scrubbing his skin raw.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he vaguely registered that, if he didn't want Clary to find out just how badly he was hurt, he'd have to hurry up, get out of the shower and bandage his back, but he wasn't sure he had any strength left to do it. When at last he did get out from beneath the steaming water, carefully dried himself off and bandaged his wounds.

He went to his room and crawled into bed. Checking his cellphone he found a message from Clary.

~ On my way. See you soon xoxo ~

At that moment, his bedroom door opened and Clary walked in, looking incredibly worried.

"Jace?" she said, and rushed over.

Jace didn't say anything. He only pulled his bedcovers back and gestured for her to climb in next to him.

Clary quickly changed from her clothes into a pair of Jace's sweatpants and t-shirt that she grabbed from his closet and did as he asked.

Without a word, he snuggled up next to her and hugged her.

For a long moment they just sat there, holding on to each other. And then Jace started crying. He hadn't cried coming home from Valentine's for ages, he couldn't even remember the last time it had happened, but tonight he cried, and Clary simply sat there, holding him close to her, allowing him to let it all out.

Beneath his own anguish, Jace realized that Clary was worried sick and probably terrified by how things were going right now. But he also knew that she would most likely keep her promise and not ask questions, and that was a soothing thought.

She stroked his hair and the side of his arm gently until his crying subsided.

And slowly they both drifted off to sleep.

It was still dark when Jace woke up with a jolt. Beside him Clary got up too and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Jace? It's alright, it was just a bad dream." she whispered.

He didn't react but stared wildly around, not really seeing anything.

"Jace." Clary said again, and she put the palm of her hand to his cheek to turn him to look at her.

He flinched and drew away, his whole frame tensing under her touch. Clary's heart broke at the sight of him, a tear escaping and rolling down her face.

When Jace's eyes finally found Clary, he relaxed a little, breathing deeply trying to slow his heart rate.

"It's alright." Clary repeated, and she let her hand slide from his cheek to his chest, letting it rest just above his heart.

"I'm sorry I woke you." Jace mumbled.

"Don't be. That's what I'm here for."

Jace leaned back against his pillow and hissed at the pain that shot through his back.

"Where are you hurt?" Clary asked, worry etched in her eyes.

"I think a better question would be were it doesn't hurt." Jace replied wryly, and he pushed himself up again. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

"Can you tell me what happened last night"

Putting his face on his knees Jace sighed

"No, I don't think I can. It's still too fresh, it hurts too much to even think about it."

He shifted, and the long sleeve of his shirt shifted revealing his scraped and battered wrist.

"Jace!" Clary exclaimed and grabbed hold of his arm.

"Jace, what on earth is this?"

Jace jerked his arm out of her grasp and stared at her, his eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights.

He pulled at his sleeves to make them cover his wrists again.

"It's nothing." he said evasively, but his brown-blue eyes wouldn't meet Clary's bright green ones.

"Jace, this isn't nothing." Clary whispered, tears in her eyes.

"This is abuse, this is not something to be wiped under the rug. Please…" she trailed off.

"I'm sorry Clary, I don't want to involve you into this. It's my own mess and I have to clean it up."

"I am involved, I chose to be involved when we first talked about this in the kitchen. You don't have to do this alone Jace."

"Yes I do, if I don't, you'll be in danger too. I'm really sorry, but I can't tell you."

"Alright." Clary sighed.

"But I want a deal with you."

She looked up at him, her green eyes boring into him.

"I want you to promise me that if anything as severe as this happens again you will tell what is going on. Do you think you can do that?" she asked, and she took his hands in hers, trying to convey how serious she was about it.

"I mean," she continued,

"I know that you've been hurt a few times already since we met, but it was never as bad as today, was it?"

Jace closed his fingers around Clary's slender hands, looking at them as if they would bring him all the answers he needed.

"Jace?" Clary's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

Jace nodded, his voice failing him.

Clary pulled him closer to her, so their heads were touching. She let her hands slide through his hair, trying to soothe him."It'll be alright, Jace." Clary whispered.

"We'll figure it out together, I promise I'll do anything I can to get you out of this mess."

"Thank you Clary." Jace said softly.

"Maybe we should try to get some more sleep." He said and tried to settle himself more comfortably on the mattress.

Clary joined him and they snuggled up together, holding on for dear life.

 **A/N So this was it.**

 **Please let me know what you think!**

 **Lots of love!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N First of all, thank you so much for all the reviews! I was really nervous for the previous chapter to go up, but you guys have been amazing!**

 **So here goes another chapter!**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **Lots of Love!**

X

When Clary woke up the next morning, there was a soft light filtering through the curtains telling her it would be a nice, warm day.

She turned her head to look at Jace, who was still asleep next to her.

His blonde hair was spread around his head so that it reminded Clary of a halo from the old paintings of saints at the local church.

What struck her most however, was the look of pure relaxation on his face. She'd never seen him this unguarded and at peace. It fascinated her to no end.

Not wanting to wake him, Clary silently slid out of bed and tiptoed out of the room.

Hunger drove her towards the kitchen where she was met by Alec who stood at the stove making scrambled eggs and toast.

"Oh hi Clary!" He said when he noticed her coming in.

"I didn't know you were here."

"Oh no, I came over sometime during the night."

"I…" She hesitated a moment, not knowing if she should tell Alec the truth of why she was here or not.

"I had a nightmare and didn't want to be alone, you know."

"Yeah, I get it." Alec replied, a sad look in his eyes.

"How are you, in general, since all that stuff happened."

"I'm alright most nights. I'm not sure what triggered it this time, but the nightmares are getting fewer and far between."

"Good." Alec smiled, obviously relieved.

"I'm glad to hear that. Is Jace still asleep?"

"Yes, sleeping like a baby when I left him."

"Tell me, Clary." Alec said, suddenly a little serious.

"Are you and Jace dating?"

Clary looked at Alec dumbfounded.

"I know it's none of my business." Alec quickly continued.

"But I've noticed Jace acting differently around you than he usually does around girls. So I just wondered."

He trailed off, looking sheepish.

Clary looked at him for a moment and then started to laugh.

"Oh god Alec, no, we're not dating!" she gasped.

"Jace and I are really good friends, but nothing more."

"Oh, alright." Alec replied, a little flushed. "How is Jace doing now? You know, with what we talked about last week."

"I'm not sure." Clary said, a sad look in her eyes.

"Generally he seems to be ok, but there are moments when I'm not so sure."

"I'll keep an eye out." Alec promised as he took the frying pan off the stove and tipped the scrambled eggs onto three plates.

"There you go." He said.

"Enjoy your breakfast."

He picked up the two other plates and left the kitchen, probably wanting to find Magnus.

Clary sat at the kitchen table, her plate in front of her and a glass of orange juice next to it. She thought back to last night, how she had felt when she'd got the text.

She had already been half asleep when her phone had buzzed, telling her a message had arrived. Grumbling she had turned over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand, blinking in the bright light it produced.

The moment she'd seen Jace's name on the screen however she'd been instantly awake.

~ Clary, I need you, please come over. The door is unlocked. ~ the text read.

Jumping out of her bed she had grabbed her clothes, scribbled a hasty note to her mother and ran off to her car, in the meantime typing back to Jace that she was on her way.

The sound of the text had frightening her. It wasn't the first time a text like this had come, but it still made her more nervous than usual.

Arriving to the familiar view of the Lightwood house had soothed Clary's nerves a bit. The door was unlocked, just as Jace had said, so she hurried through and straight up the stairs.

She found Jace already tucked in bed looking pale as a sheet.

And now she was here, sitting in the kitchen, by herself eating breakfast, worrying over Jace, who was hopefully still asleep and recovering from whatever had been done to him.

She checked her phone for messages and found one from her mother.

~ Clary, found your note. Hope you still had a good night sleep. I'll be out for today and Luke has a late shift. And I forgot to tell you, there's a letter waiting for you. I put it on your desk. See you for dinner? Love mom. ~

Clary finished her breakfast and put the dishes in the washer.

Going back upstairs she first passed the bathroom, taking a shower and brushing her teeth.

After that she silently slid into Jace's room to see how he was doing.

When she opened her door Clary saw Jace opening his eyes and rubbing sleep out of his eyes. She smiled at the endearing action and walked to the bed.

Jace looked up at her and scooted over so she could sit next to him.

"How are you feeling?" Clary asked softly when she settled down on the bed.

"Like I got hit by a truck." Jace said, shrugging and immediately regretting the motion by the grimace on his face.

Clary sighed, a worried look on her face.

"Don't worry about me. I'll get through this, I promise."

"I know you will, Jace." Clary replied. "But that doesn't mean I'm not worried or sad that this is happening either way."

"I know, and I'm sorry to cause you worry."

"Don't be, I worry because you are my friend. I chose to be your friend, so that's on me."

Clary said, and smiled.

"Do you want breakfast? Alec already made me some, but I can imagine you are hungry."

"That would be great. I need a shower first, though."

"Alright, I'll go to the kitchen and make breakfast, you take a shower and eat when you're done. How does that sound?"

"Awesome!" Jace said, laughing.

He climbed out of bed, grunting when he made a painful move, and disappeared to the bathroom.

Clary was just putting the eggs and bacon on a plate when Jace entered the kitchen.

"Something smells wonderful." Jace said as he plopped down on a chair at the table.

"Let's hope it tastes as good as it smells then." Clary laughed, and joined him with two glasses of orange juice.

"Any plans for today?" Jace asked around a mouthful of eggs.

"I have to go home for a while in any case. Mom texted me something about a letter on my desk and it sounded important. So I should check it out at least. And I have to try and get some stuff ready for school too, if possible."

"A letter? From university maybe?" Jace said interested.

"Could be, I applied for a few some time ago. Did you get anything back yet?"

"Nothing so far, but it's still early. Izzy heard back from NYU though."

"Yes, Simon told me. He got in as well."

"That would be great. Let's hope we all get in together."

"What are you going to do today?" Clary asked Jace when he finished his breakfast

"Don't know yet. Probably not too much, just trying to recover a little bit. It's a school day tomorrow, so I have to be able to function somewhat at least."

"You don't mind being alone today? You could come with me. I'll be home alone anyway."

"That's ok." Jace smiled. "I'll be sleeping most of the day anyway."

"Alright, call me if you need anything, ok?"

"I will, promise. You should go, make sure you're ready for tomorrow." he winked.

"Fine, I'll be off now. I'll call you tonight at the latest."

Clary got up and moved over to Jace.

Carefully and a little hesitant she hugged him and placed a butterfly kiss on his blonde hair.

Jace hugged her back, gingerly but determined.

"We'll talk soon." Jace whispered, and with that Clary left.

Jace sat, a bit dazed, in the kitchen. His feelings all a jumbled mess. Despite that he and Clary had already shared a bed several times, the hug and kiss she had just given him had stirred something, something different deep down.

He wasn't quite sure what to do with what he felt. He liked Clary, she had meant more to him than anyone he had ever met, except his immediate family.

"Jace?"

It was Isabelle who walked in the kitchen, still in her pyjamas and a nightgown.

"Hey Izzy, morning." Jace said, tugging at his sleeves to make sure they covered his wrists. He would have to find a solution for this by tomorrow. Hiding the injuries on his back was usually easy, his wrists were quite a bit harder to cover.

"Plans for today?" Isabelle asked.

"No, not really. I had a terrible night, so I'll probably try to sleep a little more now. What about you?"

"I have to finish the English assignment today, but nothing else. Might try to get Simon on Skype later."

"Have fun." Jace said as he put his dishes away.

"Thanks. You should get back to bed. You look really pale."

"I will, see you later Izzy."

Jace excited the kitchen and went back upstairs. Going back to bed really was the only option for today, because despite the painkillers he'd already taken his whole body screamed in protest at every move he made. With a sigh of relief Jace lay down in bed, trying to avoid his battered back as much as possible.

He'd been lucky that he hadn't bled through the bandages that night, so he didn't need to change the sheets. Plus it would have made Clary go crazy with worry.

Thinking of Clary made his stomach do a backfill and he smiled. With the feeling of the kiss in the kitchen back on his mind Jace fell asleep, a smile playing on his lips.

Clary found the letter, just as her mother had promised, perched on top of her desk.

It looked official and a sense of excitement ran through her body.

Eagerly she tore open the envelope and took the letter out.

Holding her breath she read it.

"Dear Miss Fairchild,

We hereby inform you that you have been accepted at NYU.

Please find all the necessary information in the letter attached.

If you wish to make use of the university dorms, please fill in the form and send it back as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

Mr Jackson

Dean"

Clary couldn't believe her eyes, she was in, she was really in!

Euphoria coursed through her as she grabbed her phone and texted her mother and Luke the good news. Next she Skype with Simon, who was, of course over the moon. They would be back together, just like they had been throughout high school. Izzy would be there too and, with some luck, so would Jace.

Clary wanted nothing more than to call Jace, but knowing he'd probably be asleep she texted him instead.

~ Jace, give me a call when you wake up? I have some news to share. XOXO Clary ~

She then decided to make a nice dinner and drive off to the supermarket to get all the ingredients.

On her way there she got messages back from her mother, congratulating her.

Clary was about half way through the dinner preparations when her phone rang with the familiar Jace tune.

"Hi Jace!" she said happily.

"Hi there Clary." came Jace's voice from the other side.

"Everything alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine thanks. More than fine to be honest."

"Happy to hear that. So what's the big news?"

"I got into NYU!" Clary squealed.

"Seriously? That is so awesome! I'm really happy for you! And you know what?" he teased.

"What?" Clary said.

"I got in, too!" Jace laughed.

"No way!" Clary said, astonished.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes I am! The letter arrived Friday but I must have missed it. I found it like half an hour ago."

"Oh my god, I'm so happy!" Clary exclaimed.

"Listen, I'm making dinner, would you like to come over? I can pick you up in about half an hour."

"That sounds awesome, but I can get there myself though."

"Jace! You're not coming here by bike! No way! You stay put till I come pick you up, got it?" Clary said sternly.

"Aye 'Mam" Jace replied, laughter in his voice.

"Good, I'll see you in a bit."

She finished cooking dinner, changed and went to pick up Jace.

He was ready, waiting for her in the living room, dressed up all in black.

"Hi." Cary said when she entered the room.

But before either of them could say any more Clary was enveloped in a whirlwind that was Isabelle.

"You got in! You got in!" she screeched and bestowed a bone crushing hug on her friend.

"Hi to you too Izzy." Clary gasped.

"Please let go now, you're suffocating me!"

"Oh, sorry!" Isabelle said and let Clary go.

"I'm just really excited. We're all going to uni together!"

"I know! It's really great." Clary agreed.

"Simon is really happy too."

She bypassed Isabelle and scooted over to Jace.

"Hi again." she whispered, and he smiled at her.

"Hi!" he replied and pecked a kiss on Clary's cheek.

"Let's go, my parents will be home soon." said Clary and together they got up, ready to leave.

"Where are you guys going?" Isabelle asked curiously

"Jace is eating over at my place." Clary answered.

"Oh, have fun you two." Giggled Isabelle and she left the room.

"Ok, that was intense." Clary said to Jace.

"Yeah, that's Izzy." Jace smiled

"Wait until she wants to organise our graduation party." He laughed.

"Oh good God, please don't make me think of that yet." Replied Clary and they both laughed.

The evening went by in a flurry of congratulations, toasts and lots of fun and laughter.

If had been a long time since Jace had felt this good in a family surrounding that wasn't his own. And even then, Robert and Maryse were far more reserved than Jocelyn and Luke, which was a nice change. He felt happy, despite the constant pain of his back.

It was late already when they started clearing away the dishes.

"Would you like to stay here?" Clary asked, while Luke and her mother were in the kitchen.

"I don't know, I need a shower and I have to check my back. I'm just not sure everything I need is here."

"Jace, Luke is a cop, of course we have everything here you might need. Besides, it's already late and we both know we'll sleep better when the other one is around."

"That's true I guess." Jace replied.

"Good, I'll go tell mom you're staying here. I'll be back in a second."

True to her promise Clary returned quickly and took Jace upstairs.

I'll put some fresh towels ready for you. The bathroom is right next to my room, so if you need anything, just give a shout.

In the meantime I'll get the bandages you need."

"Thanks, just put them on the sink, I'll find them there when I'm done." replied Jace and he turned the shower on.

Clary got going taking towels and bandages from the cupboard and returning to the bathroom.

Going in she heard Jace hiss in pain. Looking down she saw a trickle of read on the bottom of the shower and her heart ached for her friend.

"Are you ok?" she asked, keeping her back deliberately to the shower.

"Yeah, I'm ok." came Jace's muffled voice.

"I won't take long, don't worry."

"I'm just in the next room, so call me if you need anything." and she left him to it.

It wasn't long before Jace stepped out of the shower, gingerly dabbing at his back.

The welts looked ugly and stood out dark against the pale flesh of his body. He grimaced, thinking of the scars they would probably leave behind as permanent reminder of what had happened.

A knock on the door pulled him back to the present.

"Jace, do you need help?" came Clary's voice through the door.

"I'm almost done, be out in a minute." Jace replied as he started to put on the bandages.

The retreating footsteps on the other side of the door told him Clary had gone back to her room.

When Jace entered the bedroom he found Clary already tucked up in bed. She held back the covers so he could climb in beside her and he carefully settled himself against the mountain of pillows she had piled onto his side of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, concern in her eyes, mingled with something Jace couldn't quite pinpoint.

"I'll be alright. I feel like I got a hammer and an anvil, but I'll heal." he said, and took her hand, as if trying to put some extra credibility to his words that way.

"That's not really what I meant though." Clary said, squeezing his fingers a little.

"I know, but I'm not sure I can really answer your question to be honest. I don't know yet myself. I try to leave it behind. It happened, it hurt, but dwelling on it isn't going to make it undone. So maybe it's better to just move forward."

"It may seem that way, but be careful, it might backfire. If you're not confronting your emotions, th seem to go away, only to bite you in the mass when you least expect it. That doesn't mean you have to talk about it right now, but just try not to keep things bottled up forever, alright?"

Jace smiled at her and pulled her closer to him.

"Thank you." he whispered.

"For what?" Clary mumbled sleepily.

"For caring." He replied, just before sleep overtook them both.

 **A/N And? What did you think?**

 **Please review!**

 **Kiss**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N First of all thank you so much for your wonderful reviews!  
I see I get a lot of questions regarding why Jace keeps going back to Valentine. Keep reading and it will be fully explained! You already get something in this chapter, and later in the story a full account ;-)**

 **So, keep going, keep reading and send me reviews!**

 **Love you guys! :-***

XI

School had been going for a few weeks again, and by now everyone was getting seriously worked up about their exams.

The fact that most teachers just kept rubbing their noses raw with revisions and lectures about how important these tests could be really didn't help. If anything they just made everyone even more nervous and on edge. Throughout school several students had already been brought to the nurse with nervous breakdowns. Sudden screaming outburst echoing through the hallways were an almost daily occurrence now, as were fainting spells and sudden vomiting.

For Jace, Isabelle and Clary there was the added stress that this were their finals.

Jace had thrown himself into studying, which helped to keep his mind from Valentine and the pain of the welts on his back. They were deeper than usual, so healing took all lot longer and was far more painful than it had ever been before. He hadn't seen Valentine again since that fateful night at the end of the holiday, but he knew it was only a matter of time before he decided to rear his ugly head again. He was smart enough though not to do it during the exams, thank God. Their last encounter had taken a lot out of Jace, both mentally and physically. His nightmares had gotten worse again, and only the past weekend he'd called Clary in the middle of the night, half blind with panic after waking up from a particularly realistic dream. Clary had rushed over, only to find him in tears. They had clung together for the rest of the night. Clary mumbling sweet nothings in his ear, soothing him.

Jace hated himself for being so weak. He ought to be stronger, not break down so easily. Big boys don't cry, they man up and keep going. It was something Valentine had instilled in him for so long, often by being cruel to him.

The first night at the Lightwoods he had woken up crying. Maryse had rushed into his room to check on him, having been woken by the sound of his sobs.

Jace had expected to be punished at least, if not beaten. It was to his enormous surprise that she had picked him up and cuddled him on her lap. It was only then that he slowly started to realize that what Valentine had always done, wasn't exactly normal.

It took all of Jace's strength to get up in the morning and get going for school. It was usually the thought of seeing Clary that helped him through it. She was there for him at every turn.

The constant studying also kept him from dwelling too much on how he felt about her. He liked her, a lot, but it was different from how it had been with girls before.

He had always been, as they say, a player. A lot of girls would have thrown them at his feet had he asked it of them, though he never did. He knew he could get most girls, if he wanted. He flirted a lot, but the moment a girl tended to get closer to him, he pushed them away, often rather savagely just to make sure they didn't invade his personal space.

But with Clary, things were different. There was no desire, no lust, no feeling of just wanting her.

There were however feelings of caring for her, being worried when she wouldn't answer her phone, wanting to be with her and most of all, wanting to share his feelings and life with her. He wanted to share his secrets with her, something that had never happened before, not even with his family.

But despite the fact that those feelings made him incredibly happy, they also terrified them.

No one could know what happened to him at Valentine's. The man had made that very clear from the start. Whatever happened at the manor, would have to stay a secret.

And the reason for that was Jace's mother.

Jace was absolutely sure that Valentine knew something more about his mother's disappearance, but the man wouldn't spill it. From the first time he had laid hands on Jace he had told him that if he was a good boy, one day his mother would return to him. That she had left him because he was a failure, because he wasn't good enough.

The kind of lies that stuck to a frightened and desperately sad ten year old boy for years.

And even though Jace didn't really believe those things anymore, there was still a little part of his brain that kept the doubt alive. A part that had never stopped worrying that he had indeed been a disappointment to his mother and that that was the reason she had left him so abruptly all those years ago.

"Izzy, for God's sake stop pacing!" Jace said irritated.

Isabelle had been pacing through the living room for the past hour or so and was seriously getting on his nerves.

It was their final exam today and they were all nervous.

Jace had been edgy for some days already.

His nerves were frayed and he was in desperate need of a way to relax a little. He hoped once today's exam was over he'd be able to just ask Clary over and sit back, enjoy the nice weather, watch some movies or read a good book. The vision of himself and Clary, just having a good time together in the back yard, gave him back some energy. He just needed to get through the next few hours and things would be over.

His phone rang and he jumped, startled, before picking up.

"Jace?" came Clary's voice from the other side of the line.

"Clary!" Jace said, "Hi! Is everything alright?"

"Yes I'm fine, thanks. Just wanted to ask if I had to pick you up today or you would drive with Alec and Izzy."

"Please come pick me up!" he answered. "Izzy is driving me insane!"

"Alright, I'll be there in a bit." Clary laughed and disconnected the line.

Jace went upstairs to get his schoolbag and went to wait on the driveway so at least he was free from Isabelle's constant fretting.

It wasn't long before Clary's car pulled up in front of him and he got in.

"Hi." Clary said, a smile on her face.

"Hi to you too." replied Jace, and winked.

"So, how do you think today will be? Ready for your final exam?" he asked while grabbing a book to do some last minute revision.

"Not in a million years." Clary sighed. "You know how awful I am wit math. I just don't get what it's all about. But who knows, it might be my lucky day."

"You'll do just fine." Jace reassured her. "Starkweather's exams aren't so bad usually. Don't worry too much, try to keep a clear head."

"I'll try." Clary said, not convinced.

Once they had arrived at school they did all they could to avoid too much contact with other students. That would only lead to questions, last minute textbook checks and a ton of added stress no one could use.

Clary and Jace had retreated somewhat at the end of a grass field, under the shade of a willow tree.

They weren't taking, they just sat there enjoying each other's company and waiting for the bell to signal the start of three hours of torture.

"Break a leg." Jace said to Clary just before they entered their classroom and gave her a hug.

"You too." she whispered, looking a little green.

They both sat at opposite ends of the desk and started working.

It was a little over three hours later that Clary and Jace met again in the parking lot.

"That was awful!" Clary said when she arrived.

Jace had finished some time before her and had been waiting, leaning against the hood of the car.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad." Jace soothed.

"It was, I blacked out over half of the questions!" Clary exclaimed. "I'm so going to fail this one."

She looked sad, her eyes downcast.

"Don't worry about it. We'll get our results back in a few days and then we'll see what happens. You're going to NYU for arts, not rocket science, so it probably won't be such a big deal if you would fail, which I'm sure you didn't." Jace hugged her tightly for a moment.

"Do you want me to drive?"

"I'll be ok I guess. Let's go."

"My place?" Jace asked.

"Sure, I don't want to be alone now and mom and Luke are working."

Together they drove out of the parking lot and off to Jace's house.

The afternoon sun found Jace and Clary spread on a blanket in the backyard of the Lightwoods house. It had warmed nicely that day and they were enjoying the warmth the sun had to offer.

Clary lay flat on her back, eyes closed soaking up all the vitamin D she could get, wearing a tank top and shorts.

Jace had his head on her stomach, his knees drawn up and a book on his lap.

It was bliss, just laying there.

The past weeks had been hard on all of them.

Jace had been having rough nights since his last encounter with Valentine, but due to their exams Clary hadn't always been able to stay with him.

It had resulted in countless nights with little to no sleep. So often he had woken, screaming and drenched in cold sweat, only to realise it wasn't even 2 am and knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep again.

He had dragged himself through the days on painkillers and energy drinks and right now he was just about to crash completely.

He was dozing off while Clary's fingers were running circles through his hair.

It was quite amazing, Jace thought, that he would have found a soulmate in a girl he only met a few months before.

The day went by in a slumber of reading, sleeping, eating a little and generally just enjoying each other's company.

By the time the sun went down Clary had to go home. Her mother had prepared dinner and was dying to have a mother-daughter evening for the first time in forever.

"I'm sorry I have to go." Clary said.

Her eyes looked sad and her fingers kept caressing through Jace's hair.

They were in the living room, hanging out in the couch with the TV on in the background.

"I know, but your mom deserves to have you just for her every once in awhile." replied Jace, looking up at her. His head lay in her lap, his feet dangling over the edge.

"I'll be back tomorrow." she promised

"That's fine, just make sure to avoid Izzy or you'll be dragged into her plans for the graduation party at the end of the week."

"Ok, I'll try."

Clary got up, shifting Jace's head to a pillow and took her car keys.

"We'll talk soon. And if you need me, please call and I'll see what I can do."

She kissed his forehead and left.

Jace just lay back in the couch, not moving from the position Clary had left him in, and listened to the car backing out of the driveway, the sound of the engine slowly ebbing away.

The place where her lips had touched his forehead was burning a little bit, his fingers touching it lightly.

He smiled to himself, feeling happy and at place for the first time since very, very long.

His phone buzzed, lighting up from the side table.

He turned his head reluctantly to grab at it and read the message:

~ Don't tell anyone, remember. ~ It read

Jace jumped up, his heart hammering in his chest.

How was this possible? Had someone been spying on him? It must be.

Fear made his stomach clench and his hands trembled so violently that he nearly dropped his phone.

Trying to breath deeply so as not to pass out he looked at his phone and almost vomited.

~Let me know when you get home. Miss you already. Xo ~ he texted Clary, hoping she wouldn't see his terror through the message.

Clary read Jace's message and frowned, he never texted her something like this.

~ I'm alright, got home fine. Are you ok? Let me know if you need anything. Xoxo ~ she send back.

"Are you alright?" her mother asked, you look worried.

"It's fine, just Jace who sent a weird message."

"How is Jace?" Jocelyn required. "He looked so tired last time I saw him, and the exams her even started yet."

"He's ok now. He has some trouble sleeping from time to time, but with the exams over I think things will get back to normal soon."

"If he needs anything we can help with, just ask. He's a sweet kid and life hasn't exactly been easy on him, has it?"

"No, not really. Although he got lucky with the Lightwoods taking him in."

"That's definitely true, it could have been much worse if he'd ended up in the system. You two seem to get along very well to, don't you?"

"Yes, we're good friends."

"Just friends?"

"Yes mom, just friends, we're not dating or anything!"

Clary's phone buzzed again and a text message appeared on the screen:

~ I'm ok, don't worry. Enjoy the evening with your mom. Xo ~

She smiled at the text, her fingers flying over the screen to send a reply

"It's getting late, you should go to bed." Jocelyn said to her daughter. "You look really tired, so a good night's sleep will surely help."

"I know, I'm going to take a shower and head to bed. Night mom."

"Good night sweetheart." her mom said and gave her a kiss.

After the shower Clary fell in bed exhausted. She quickly grabbed her phone to change the settings so only Jace's calls and messages would get through and send him a text.

~ I'm in bed, exhausted, hope you are ok and get some sleep. Talk soon! Xoxo ~

After that she felt asleep, wrapped up under her blanket and cuddling a sweater Jace had left last time he had stayed over. In her mind, it still smelled like him and it soothed her when she woke up sweating at night.

Jace stood in the middle of the room on the third floor in Valentine's manor house. His hands were bound behind his back, a metal chain looped the the bonds and was shackled to a peg in the floor.

Sounds we're coming from down below, voices of men, and a higher voice that gave off a trickle of recognition in the back of his brain. The noises were slowly coming up the stairs and he could hear a note of desperation in the higher voice.

Suddenly the door behind him burst open and a group of men entered, holding a struggling petite figure in their midst.

Jace whirled around,trying to get a look at the one being held by the men. He hurt his arms and wrists with his rough moves, but he didn't care. He hardly felt that the skin on his wrists was being scraped off every time he pulled at his bonds.

He recognized the voice now and saw flaming red hair flying.

He screamed, and screamed, and screamed again when he saw Clary's face standing out pale and desperate. And in his ear he heard Valentine's cruel laughter.

Jace shot up in bed, his breath heaving,drenched in cold sweat.

It had been a dream, just a dream. He repeated it over and over to himself, pulling up his legs and hugging them close to his body. Out of all the nightmares he'd had over the past years, this might well have been one of the worst. It had been so realistic, the fear he had felt still coursed through his body, making his heart hammer in his chest.

Looking out the window he saw it was still dark outside, though the sky had that pale bluish glace to it that announced the coming of early morning sunshine. He knew Clary would come over that day, but having Isabelle at the house stressing over a party would make finding any rest and solitude hard.

Jace took his cellphone off the bedside table and texted Clary

~ Mind if I come over to you today? Need some peace and quiet, won't get that with Izzy here. Just let me know. Xo ~

After that he went off to take a shower,knowing he wouldn't sleep again anyway.

 **A/N So here was another chapter!**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **Kiss**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Here's a new chapter! Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think!**

 **XOXO**

XII

Throughout the next days both Clary and Jace did what they could to avoid Isabelle and her mad drive to get the party organised.

"Isabelle, honestly I don't really care I'd the theme would be unicorns or mermaids or even transformers to be honest." Clary said exasperated when she had been caught by Isabelle after all.

"But people have to know how to dress up! It's important Clary!" Izzy said.

"Go for unicorns then, it's easier to walk around with a horn on your head than a tail around your feet."

"Alright, unicorns it is!" Isabelle said cheerfully. "Come on Clary, I need help when I go to the store to buy all the sectors and order the rainbow cakes and stuff. Hurry up, take your shoes and let's get going!"

"I promised Jace I'd be here today."

"Jace is still asleep and I'm sure he'll manage half a day without you. Seriously Clary you two seem joined by the hip or something. You, my dear friend, are coming with me, and we're going to have tons of fun today!"

Recognizing defeat Clary put on her shoes,texted Jace that she was off with Isabelle and got into the car.

Izzy had been right though, they did have a lot of fun picking out the craziest decoration, ordering cake from the local bakery who was over the moon with their rainbow idea and finally scoring some huge inflatable unicorns that could be put in front yard.

It had been a long time since Clary had had such a liberating afternoon with no worries.

On their way home they bought lunch for everyone and did some general grocery shopping.

"So," Clary asked while they were loading their groceries in the car. "How are you and Simon doing?"

Isabelle blushed and kept her eyes down.

"We're doing great. He's probably coming over for the summer. And he got admitted to NYU so I'm hoping he can come and stay with us."

"That would be awesome. Jace asked me the same thing. It's funny how we all managed to get in at the same place."

"It was a lucky stroke I guess. Do you know when he plans to come over?"

"No, he didn't tell me. But he's going on holiday with his family first, so it'll be a few weeks I think. Might be sooner if he gets home earlier. Not really sure."

"I'll give him a call later today." Isabelle concluded as she backed the car up the driveway.

"Let's get everything unpacked." Clary said when she hopped out of the car.

Grabbing a box from the trunk she walked up the front porch ready to push the front door open with her foot when she collided with something tall, hard and very much alive.

"Hey there," came Jace's voice from above her. "Let me get that for you."

He took over the box from Clary and walked into the kitchen.

"Is there more to get out of the car?" he asked.

"What do you think?" Clary laughed. "I went shopping with Izzy to organize a party. There's tons more."

"Shouldn't have asked, should I?" said Jace. "I'll come help you. Just keep the door open."

He walked out to get the other stuff while Clary started sorting through whatever was already inside.

Lunch passed with laughs and giggles, the three of them spread out on the grass in the backyard. Even Jace seemed to be less stressed than usual, even though the black smudges under his eyes betrayed his lack of sleep.

Clary noticed him dozing off every now and then, only to jerk awake a few seconds later.

When Isabelle had left them to it Clary nestled herself close to Jace and whispered: "You need sleep, Jace. You're exhausted, why don't you go for a nap?"

"I know you're right, but I'm not going to sleep anyway." he sighed.

"Nightmares?" concern colored her voice. "Have they gotten worse?"

"Yes, I think the stress and not sleeping enough might be the cause, but it's an endless circle isn't it?"

"Seems like it. But maybe you could just try, get every minute you can get. Why don't you go up already and I'll come to you as soon as I can?"

"I can live with that, I think. Come soon, I need sleep but I need you with me before I can get it."

He got up slowly, his hand brushing the top of Clary's head, and walked inside.

"Do you need more help Izzy?" Clary asked when she got into the kitchen.

"Don't think so, no. Most of the stuff is put away and we won't need to do anything till the day before the party to get it all ready. I might try to fabricate some rainbow drinks or sing though, but that'll be for tomorrow I think. I'm going to try to call Simon!" and with that she pranced out of the kitchen.

When Clary entered Jace's bedroom she found him sprawled on top of the covers, still dressed, clearly asleep.

She picked a blanket off his desk chair, draped it over his sleeping form and crawled in next to him.

As if drawn to her like a magnet, Jace's sleeping body curled itself around Clary's, his arm folding over her protectively. His breathing slowed and all the pent up tension went out of him with a deep sigh.

It was several hours later that Jace woke up. Rubbing sleep out of his eyes, he noticed hair tickling his nose. It wasn't until that moment that he realised Clary was sleeping next to him. He smiled, looking at her relaxed features.

For the first time in what felt like forever Jace felt a little rested. Sleeping straight for a couple of hours really did work wonders, he thought. He slipped quietly out of bed, not wanting to wake Clary.

During the next days Clary and Isabelle prepared their graduation party together. It gave Clary the perfect excuse to stay over at night and help Jace catch up on some much needed sleep. He looked better than a few days ago and his humor and naturally gentle behavior came back. It had been a hard couple of weeks for all of them.

The day before the party Alec came back home with Magnus.

"Oh good God, what kind of bomb went off here?" he laughed as he entered the house.

Every room from the hallway to the kitchen and living room was decorated with bright and brilliant rainbow themed items.

"A rainbow bomb." Isabelle giggled as she hugged Alec.

"It's for our graduation party!"

"Of course!" Magnus exclaimed. "What a wonderful idea! Do you need any help?"

"Give your imagination free reign Magnus! Some rainbow drinks would be awesome!"

"That's a done deal! Let's see what I can find in the kitchen." And he trudged off, tagging Isabelle along.

"Where is Jace?" Alex asked Clary.

"He's asleep in his room. I think he's got some catching up to do."

"Yeah, he did look incredibly tired just after the exams. Do you know if it were his nightmares that were playing up again?"

"Yes, it were the nightmares. But he seems better now. Probably just the stress if you ask me."

"Glad to hear he's doing better."

Jace woke with a start when his phone buzzed next to his pillow.

Looking up through bleary eyes he grabbed for it and looked at the screen.

~ Saturday 8 pm ~ it read.

It took all of two second for the message to sink in and for his back to get drenched in cold sweat.

Just at the same time his bedroom door opened and Clary walked through, holding a tray with lunch.

"You're awake." she said cheerfully, but her expression changed from happy to concerned when she took in the look on Jace's face.

She dropped the tray hastily on his desk and came over to his bed where she perched herself on the side, taking hold of his hand.

"Jace, what's wrong?"

"What? No, nothing, I only just woke up." Jace said evasively, not meeting her eyes.

"Jace, it's me you're talking to. I think I know you well enough to know when something is wrong and when you're lying to me. When I came in you looked like you'd seen a ghost. What happened?"

"Please, it's nothing, really."

"Jace,..." Clary whispered "Does it have anything to do with what happened during the holiday?"

The little color that had remained in Jace's cheeks drained from it when Clary said this.

"I'll take this as a yes." she said. Her hand stroked the side of his face, trying to get him to look at her.

"Please, look at me." she begged. "Look at me and tell me what is going on."

"I can't Clary, I'm so sorry but I can't. You have no idea how much I would want things to be different."

The look of despair and defeat that was etched in his eyes broke Clary's heart.

She sat closer to Jace and hugged him tightly.

"I really hope things will change soon. That you'll get the help you need, and you deserve."

Jace hugged her back, pouring every ounce of fear, despair and hope in it.

They sat like that for a long while, just holding each other, willing the world to go away and let them be.

The party on Friday night rolled by before either Clary or Jace had much time to consider the matter any more.

Friends from all over town stopped by the house, enjoying the food and drinks Isabelle and Magnus had provided.

Clary kept a wary eye on Jace most of the night. He was absent and withdrawn, brooding over his glass of punch.

"Clary, come on, stop fretting over Jace and go have some fun!"

Isabelle pulled her friend by the hand and pushed her towards the dance floor.

"Izzy…" she whined, but before Isabelle could reply, a guy grabbed her by the hand and pulled her along.

"I'm David," he said, leaning close to her. "Let's dance."

He put his hands in the small of Clary's back and guided her onto the dance floor.

They swayed from side to side, David setting the pace. His breath reeked of alcohol and Clary wondered where that had come from. She knew Magnus and Isabelle had banned all alcoholic beverages from the party.

"Clary, isn't it?" David whispered, his mouth so close to Clary's ear that she shied away from it.

"Yes, that's me" she confirmed, not sure what to think of this situation.

"I've seen you in class so often, dreamed about you even." His voice slurred a little, making Clary really uncomfortable.

When David swirled them around, Clary's eyes fell on Jace, who was watching them. His eyes were dark and he was sporting a deep frown on his forehead.

Clary tried to catch his eye, but before she could, David had turned her again to face a different part of the yard.

He was dancing uncomfortably close to Clary and his hands were roaming lower and lower over her back. She grabbed one of his hands and forcefully pulled it back up.

"Don't push it." she said, and David chuckled.

"Don't be like that." He said, and dropped his hand again.

Wanting to get away Clary tried to turn around, but his grip was suddenly strong around her waist, keeping her in place.

"Oh no, you don't." he growled in her ear, and a wave of panic struck Clary's stomach.

She was swept away again, looking at a different section of the dance floor. Her eyes frantically sought out Jace, willing him to be looking at her. She couldn't find him, he clearly wasn't in the chair anymore that he had occupied only moments before.

David kept coming closer to her, his leg between hers and his body grinding into her to the rhythm of the music.

"Stop it." Clary said and pushed at him, but he had an iron grip on her and wouldn't budge. Panic was slowly fogging Clary's brain and she was unable to think of any other means to get out of this situation.

"You have been flirting with me ever since you arrived here at school. Don't even try to deny it, I know this is what you want. You've been asking for it for so long, now you get what you had coming."

No, no, no… was all that buzzed in Clary's mind. This can't be happening.

She felt David steer her away from the dance floor towards the trees that lined the side of the garden.

There were bright colored unicorn lamps strewn across the hedges, lighting the path.

By now Clary was struggling hard against David's hands, but her voice still wouldn't work when she tried to call out to her friends.

Jace had gone inside to get himself another drink. Seeing Clary dance with that guy from school had seriously annoyed him and he hadn't really wanted to watch it.

David Stinton was one of the popular group from their parallel class. He had never liked him, thinking him sneaky and underhanded. He was known for taking what he wanted, especially with girls.

When Jace came back outside his eyes were immediately drawn to the dance floor, wanting to know where Clary was.

He didn't see her, and walked over to get a better look.

Halfway there however he crossed paths with Sandy, a girl who he knew to have a crush on him, but he wasn't interested in.

"Hi Jace!" she thrilled, trying to sound seductive.

"Hi Sandy." Jace replied absent minded.

"Wanna dance?" she asked, and with our waiting for his reply, she grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

"Sandy, I'm sorry, but I don't want to dance." he said, pulling his hand out of hers.

She looked hurt, huffed at him and turned on her heel.

Waking on Jace spotted Alec, standing next to Magnus at the outside bar.

He strode over and pulled Alec apart with a quick apology to Magnus.

"What's wrong?" Alec asked.

"Have you seen Clary around? She was dancing with David Stinton just before. I went in to get a drink but now I can't find her. And to be fair, I don't trust that guy."

"I think I saw her going off to the trees earlier. Not sure who she was with though."

Jace swore colorfully under his breath and stalked away.

His mind was filled with images of what could be happening to Clary right now, mixed with all the possible ways he would get back at Stinton if he had dared to hurt her.

A rustle to his left made him look up and he saw a flash of flaming red hair disappearing behind a tree.

Without thinking twice Jace ran after them, first clenched.

"Jace!" He heard Alec shouting behind him.

"I found her, just come with me!" Jace yelled back without breaking pace.

He went in the general direction of where he had seen Clary vanish.

He heard a disturbance just ahead of him and burst through the foliage, Alec and apparently also Magnus hot on his heels.

The first thing he saw was Clary, cowering against the trunk of a tree. The next thing he knew his hands were clenched holding the fabric of David's shirt hearing it tear with the force of his pull.

Whiteout conscience thought his firsts collided with the guys face, again and again, pure fury breaking loose.

It took the combined effort of Alec and Magnus to pull him off.

"Jace!" someone yelled in his ear, and he looked up, slightly dazed. It was Alec, holding him by the shoulders staring him squarely in the face.

"Jace! Clary needs you! Go look after her and let me and Magnus deal with this idiot!"

This sobered Jace up immediately, he turned and rushed over to Clary.

"Clary?" he whispered "Clary, please talk to me!"

Clary was still huddled against the tree, her knees drawn up to her chest. She was pale and her entire fragile frame was shaking like a leaf caught in a winter storm. She turned around suddenly, catching Jace off guard and threw up violently next to the tree.

Jace caught hold of her, rubbing circles on her back and holding her hair out of her face. She heaved several times and then fell silent, leaning heavily against his chest, completely spent.

"I couldn't find you." She whispered. "I looked for you and I couldn't find you."

She hung close to Jace, holding on like her life depended on it.

"Alec, give me your sweater." Jace said, looking behind him, gesturing to his brother.

Alec shrugged his sweater off and handed it to Jace who draped it carefully over Clary.

"Come on," he said, he wrapped his arms around her. "Let's get you inside."

He scooped her up and carried her away, bridal style.

"What will happen to the guy?" Clary asked softly.

"Magnus and Alec with take care of him. I think they already called the cops. He needs to pay for what he did."

Clary nodded, still dazed while Jace hurried to get her inside and up the stairs with no-one seeing them.

Once there he opened his room and gently put Clary down on the bed.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there." He murmured and pulled her close to him. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Don't be, you couldn't know this would happen."

"Rationally I know you are right, but it feels so wrong. If I think what could have happened, here, in our own backyard…" he trailed off, hands clenched, trying to control his anger.

"Can I get you anything?" he finally asked, when he trusted his voice again.

"A cup of hot chocolate and a shower would be great." Clary answered.

"Alright, I'll get you settled for the shower and after that I'll go make a cup of hot cocoa."

"That sounds nice." Clary said, and smiled a little at him.

Jace stood in the kitchen a little while later when Alec came in.

"He was arrested." he informed Jace, who turned to look at his brother.

"Is Clary ok?"

"As well as she can be I guess." Jace replied. "She's taking a shower now and I'm making her something hot to drink. We'll have to wait and see what the night brings. I'm afraid it'll bring up quite a few memories better left alone."

"I'm so sorry. I can't believe this actually happened, here of all places." Alec said sadly. "Lucky you noticed she was gone."

"Yeah, I don't want to think what could have happened otherwise." Jace said, his stomach clenching at the idea. "I'm headed back up, see how she is. I'll stay with her for the rest of the night, so she won't be alone."

"That's fine, give her a hug from me, will you? I'll go tell Magnus she's alright."

Jace took the hot cup back upstairs and placed it on his desk. The water in the shower was still running, so he knocked softly.

"Clary? It's me, Jace. Do you need anything?" He said through the crack of the door.

"I'm almost done, but I think I forgot to take clean clothes. Could you bring me something?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

Dropping a pair of sweatpants and a shirt on the sink a minute later Jace left Clary to herself to get dressed.

When she walked in his room after a few minutes she looked tired and drained.

Making space on the bed so she could lie down Jace took the hot cocoa and put it on the nightstand next to her.

"Just if you want it." he said, before crawling back into bed next her.

She snuggled to his chest, holding him tightly and cried.

Jace just held her, offering whatever support he could, simply by being there.

He held her until she fell asleep, still crying.

A soft knock on the door made Jace look up.

It was Alec who stuck his head around the door.

"Luke is here." he said softly as he walked over to the bed. "He wants to talk to you."

"I don't want to leave Clary alone, she only just fell asleep. Why don't you ask him to come up here?"

"Sure, I'll send him up."

"Is he angry?" Jace asked, some trepidation in his voice.

"Not at us, no. He was livid when he arrived and I think it was for the best that David had already been taken away by his colleagues. But he's not angry with us. He said to me that we did what we had to do."

"Ok, thanks, just send him up here. I'll talk to him and he can see Clary is alright."

"Will do, see you in a bit. I'm getting everyone to leave now. Izzy is really upset, thinks it's her fault."

"I'll talk to her later, she didn't do anything wrong."

With that, Alec left to get Luke and Jace just stayed still on the bed, holding Clary close and rubbing soothing circles on her back.

It was a few minutes later that Luke came in, tiptoeing to the bed and looking at Clary.

Jace gestured for him to take the chair from the desk so he could sit.

"How is she?" Luke asked, concern etched all over his face.

"It took awhile, but she fell asleep about fifteen minutes ago. I had her take a shower and gave her some clothes to change into. I'm glad she's sleeping now though. She can use the rest."

"Yes, she definitely can. Thank you for taking care of her." Luke said, looking straight at Jace. "I'm happy to see she can count on you. Alec told me that it was you who noticed she was missing."

"I couldn't find her on the dance floor so I went looking for her. I'm relieved that I found her when I did. It could have been much worse. I hate to think of what that bastard could have done to her if we hadn't gotten there in time. But you should thank Alec and Magnus too. They made sure to call you guys, and they stopped me from outright killing the dude." Jace chuckled.

"I wouldn't have minded." Luke said, and he grinned at the younger man. "You did a great job here, thank you. Please tell Clary to come home in the morning. Or I can pick her up if she wants to. I think it would be good to have her home for a while. Jocelyn is really worried too."

"I'll make sure to tell her." Jace promised.

"Oh and Jace, you are welcome too. If you want to stay with her, or she wants you there, please come along."

"Thank you sir." Jace replied.

"Just call me Luke, sir makes me feel really old. I'll leave my phone number in case you need me."

Jace nodded and the two men shook hands after which Luke left the room.

 **A/N So, here was another chapter.**

 **Please review!**

 **Lots of love**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N sorry for the long wait here, things got a bit messy.  
But here I am again!  
Thank you so much for all the revieuws! They are wonderful! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Lots of Love!**

XIII

It was late the following morning before everyone in the Lightwood residence was up. Jace had woken early at first, checking on Clary who was still asleep next to him. He'd send Luke a message to let him know everything was alright and that Clary was still sleeping. And apparently he had dozed off again because he woke, almost two hours later, looking straight into Clary's bright green eyes.

"Hey there," she said.

"You're awake." Jace said, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"I just woke up, yes."

"And you were watching me sleep?"

She smiled at him, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"Sorry." she mumbled and looked down at her hands.

Jace noticed they were scratched and bruised. He covered them with his own, stroking the back with his thumb.

"Don't be." he said, and lifted her chin so she would look at him again. "I don't mind you looking at me."

She smiled again, albeit shyly.

"Let's get you some breakfast, shall we?" Jace said as he got up from the bed.

"Luke came by last night, he asked me to make sure you went home today. He was so worried, and your mom too."

Clary shied away, pulling the covers up to her chest.

"They're going to be so mad at me." she whispered, and there we a terrified note in her voice.

"No, I'm sure they won't. Luke didn't seem mad at all last night."

"No Jace, no, I don't want to go home. They'll be really mad at me! And they have every right to be too." Her voice faded away and a tear leaked from her eye.

"Clary!" Jace said urgently. "Clary, look at me." He put both his hands on the side of her face and lifted it so she had to look him in the eyes.

"Clary, listen to me. You have no blame in this. What happened was not your fault!"

"But it was. I should have fraught harder, should have called out. Instead I froze, my brain wet blank. I let this happen, Jace! This is my fault!"

"Clary please, please stop this! The only one who made a mistake here was David. He crossed a line, God he crossed so many lines I can't even believe it. But none of this has got anything to do with you! Please, you have to believe me!"

Clary was crying by now, big fat tears rolling down her cheeks, her whole body shaking with sobs.

"Are you really this scared to go home?" Jace asked softly. "Is that why you wouldn't tell them about what happened in the alley?"

She nodded and he pulled her close, embracing her and whispering little nothings in her ear.

When her sobs had subsided he said: "Would you like me to come with you? Would that make you feel better, less alone?"

"Would you do that?" Clary asked, looking up at Jace by herself for the first time.

"Of course I would, if that would help you." He replied. "I have an appointment at seven tonight, but other than that I'm free. If I can put my bike in your car, it shouldn't be a problem."

"That would be great, really."

"Let's get ready then. You go shower, I'll make you breakfast."

"Ok, see you in a bit."

When Jace entered the kitchen he found Alec, Magnus and Isabelle already seated at the table.

"How is she?" Isabelle asked, worry coloring her voice.

"She's alright, all things considered. She's scared to go home, afraid of what her parents will say." Jace answered while preparing breakfast.

"Will you go with her?" Alec asked.

"Yes, I promised I'd go with her if she wanted me to. The support might do her good, although I know Luke and Jocelyn won't be mad at her. And if they are I'll be there to defend her and tell them what happened. It's not like she went willingly, that much is obvious."

"True, I'm glad you're going. She shouldn't be alone now." Alec replied.

It was about an hour later that Clary and Jace were sitting in the living room, Clary sitting close to Jace, holding his hand. Luke and Jocelyn were sitting on the opposite site of the coffee table, looking concerned.

"Clary, sweetheart, we're not mad at you, not at all." Her mother said, some disbelief creeping into her voice. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I feel like it is my fault, that I am to blame." Clary whispered.

Luke and Jocelyn looked incredulous at their daughter.

"How can you think that?" Luke asked softly, coming over to sit next to Clary.

"Because it feels like that. And no matter how often people say to me that it isn't true, somehow I feel like I made a mistake, that I should have done something differently."

"You couldn't have done anything, Clary." Jace said, putting his arm around her. "He is so much stronger than you were, and to be honest, if you had resisted, he probably would have gotten violent. I know him a bit, and I have seen what those people can be like when they are thwarted or don't get what they want. He would have hurt you, badly, if you hadn't gone along with him. To be honest, I don't even know if I would have been able to stop him myself if Alec and Magnus hadn't been there to help. Please, don't blame yourself. I know it'll take time before you can accept it, but try at least. Tell it to yourself every day, and I will tell you every time you need to hear it. And so will your mom and dad, I know they will."

"Thank you." Clary said, and she put her head on his shoulder, relaxing a little.

The rest of the afternoon was spent outside, on the large swing that Luke had bought just a short while ago. It fit both Clary and Jace perfectly. They didn't talk much, just sat together, enjoying each other's company.

As six o'clock came nearer though, Jace became fidgety and restless.

"Jace? What's wrong?" Clary asked, lifting her head from his lap and looking at him.

"Nothing." He said, and burned his hands in his shirt, trying to keep them still.

"You've become nervous over the past fifteen minutes. I can feel you're not comfortable, something is bothering you. What is it?"

Clary sat up straight next to him now, taking his hands into hers, looking him in the eyes.

"I'm fine, really, I just have to get going." Jace said, not really looking at her.

"I don't want leave you here. You know, after everything that has happened I feel like should be able to stay."

"Don't worry about me, silly. I'll be just fine. Luke and met mom are here if I need anything. And besides, if you want to, you could come back here afterwards. Even if it gets late, just send a text and I'll come to open the door."

"Maybe." Jace said. "If I feel up to it I'll give you a call. Now I really have to go, or I'll be late. Don't want that…" his voice trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

"Even if you don't come back here, give me a call when you get back home, ok?"

"I will." Jace promised, and placed a butterfly kiss on the top of her head as he stood up.

Clary looked after Jace, a worried look in her eyes. Something was off, this wasn't like him and she wondered what the appointment was, that it had him so rattled. She heard his bike leave the gravel path next to the house and, after a moment's indecision, got up and took her car keys.

"Mom, Luke, I just noticed I forgot something at Izzy's this morning. I'm going to pick it up, alright?"

"Sure, just be safe, take your phone with you and don't stay out too long. I'd like you to be home tonight." Her mother replied.

"Promise." Clary said, and after giving her mother a quick kiss on the cheek hurried out the door.

Getting in the truck she tried to see where Jace had taken off to. Left, if the red gravel tire tracks told her anything. She drove off slowly, looking around for a sign of him.

It took her only a few minutes to find him, biking along the road.

Clary slowed the car and kept a careful distance so Jace wouldn't notice her following him.

After about ten minutes Jace slowed down, went up the sidewalk and dropped his bike in front of a big manor house. He pushed the ge open and walked up to the door, where he stood for a moment, flexing his hands, before pushing the doorbell.

Clary sat watching from her car, a few houses up the road, how the door opened, light flooding the path that lead up to the house and highlighting Jace's profile. It was a rather tall man who held the door open. A second later Jace had entered the house and the door closed with an audible snap.

Clary started the car again and drove slowly passed the house. The number 147 was clearly visible in brass lettering above the door.

Deciding there was nothing more for her to do than wait, she turned the car around and drove back home. The entire ride was spent wondering what was going on, what the appointment was, who it was with, and, most importantly, why Jace e he'd been so out of sorts before going. He had told her it we just because he didn't want to leave her alone, and Clary was sure that part of that was indeed true. But that hadn't been the real reason for his nervousness.

Once Clary got home she announced that she would make it an early night. Saying goodnight to her mother and Luke she went up, took a shower and crawled into bed, once again hugging Jace's sweater for comfort. She was tired, but her worries for Jace kept her wide awake. She couldn't find anything to do, couldn't keep her mind to the book she was reading and eventually ended up, sitting on her bed with her sketch pad on her lap. She drew Jace, from memory, like she had seen him for the very first time, sitting at his desk in their math classroom.

Clary had been so concentrated on her drawing that she nearly send all her stuff flying when the buzzing of her phone brought her back to reality.

She grabbed for it and seeing the caller ID quickly answered.

"Jace?"

"It's me." came Jace's voice through the phone. He sounded tired and beat down.

"Are you alright?" Clary asked.

"I'll be fine." Came the evasive answer. " Can I come over?"

"Of course you can. I told mom that you might come back, so they're expecting you."

"Thanks, I'll be there in a bit." Jace said, and disconnected the line.

Clary lay still in bed, replaying the conversation in her head. The sound of Jace's voice wouldn't leave her, the broken sound, the sound of defeat.

She must have dozed off, because a soft knock on her door startled her.

"Come in." she said sleepily as she looked up. It was Jace, and the sight of him woke Clary up immediately. She jumped out of bed and ran over to him.

"Jace!" she said when she reached him.

"Oh Jace... again?"

He nodded, blonde hair whipping around his head, his blue-brown eyes sad and tired. "Come on, sit down. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'll be fine. I already went home to shower. I wasn't sure I was coming over, but I didn't want to be alone after all. I'm sorry I woke you though."

"Don't be, really, I told you to come back and I don't mind you waking me." Clary said as they both sat down on the bed. Jace moved with difficulty she noticed and her heart broke for him.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

"No," he sighed. "I think I best try to sleep, I'm beat."

Literally, Clary thought, but she didn't say anything. Instead she pulled the bedcovers back for Jace to lay down and scooted in next to him.

To her surprise Jace turned his back to her and curled in on himself. Unsure how to react to this Clary just stayed still, flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

Time passed, and she could feel the mood in the room changing. The tension lessened somewhat and then she noticed that Jace was crying, softly, clearly unwilling to let her hear him. But she did hear him and rolling over to his side of the bed, she curled her small form around his bigger one, put her arm over his chest and held him.

His cries became a little louder, not restraining himself as he had before, but he still didn't turn to face her. A moment later though, she felt him grab her hand and hold it firmly.

Slowly his sobs subsided and eventually they ebbed away, to be replaced by the deep, slow breaths of sleep.

Jace had, quite literally, cried himself to sleep. Thinking about how often he must have some this before, even as a child, with no one there to hug him or hold his hand, made Clary's stomach clench. It was sickening, to think that for so many years he had never dared to confide in anyone. And again she wondered who could instill this kind of fear into someone, that they would keep quiet about such abuse for so long.

Deciding that she would, somehow, figure out this mystery, Clary decided to talk to Luke about it at some point. She didn't want to invade Jace's privacy, but she couldn't just stand by and do nothing when she knew her friend was being hurt by someone.

 **A/N So, that was it :-)**

 **What do you guys think?**

 **Let me know!**


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Very sorry for the long pause in between. But here we go again for a new chapter!  
Lots of Love! XIV

As the holiday came in full swing, the Lightwood house was becoming livelier by the day. Friends stayed over, Magnus just about lived there by now, despite the grumblings of Maryse and Robert, and in a few days Simon would arrive to stay a few weeks while his parents were working.

Since both Luke and Jocelyn were working most of the time too, Clary decided to spend most of her time over at Jace and Isabelle too. It would be fun, hanging out with all of her friends.

"Clary!" Izzy's voice came from the kitchen as Clary entered the house, laden with a heavy bag full of clothes.

"Coming, hang on a minute." Clary called back, as she dropped the bag in the hallway next to the stairs.

She saw Alec coming down and waved.

"Need help?" He asked, pointing at the bag.

"It needs to get upstairs, I'll do it later though."

"Nah, don't bother, I'll bring it up for you. Jace's room?"

"That would be great, thanks!"

"Oh that reminds me, Jace was still sleeping earlier. I'll put it at the door."

"Good, thanks again." Clary said, giving Alec a quick hug and hurrying to the kitchen to see Isabelle.

"Hi there!" Greeted Isabelle, waving to her with a spatula in her hand."

"Hi! What are you cooking?" Clary asked, sniffing the air curiously.

"Pancakes, for lunch!" Izzy replied cheerfully.

"It's Jace's favourite, thought he'd be happy with it when he woke up. He was up most night, I heard him walking around. Glad he's asleep now though."

"Again?" Clary sighed, filling a glass of water at the sink. "Why didn't he call me though? I would have come over. Been up myself most of the night too."

"Maybe you should have called then." Izzy grinned. "What is it with the two of you anyway? Are you dating Jace now?"

"No!" Clary gasped around a gulp of water. "No, we're not dating."

"No, you just sleep together, that's all." Isabelle joked.

"Yes, we do sleep together, simply because we both sleep better when the other one is around."

"Then why not go the extra step and just start dating?"

"I don't know, we never really discussed it, you know."

"You guys are strange." Isabelle said, rolling her eyes at Clary.

"I hope you're not talking about me." Came a voice from behind them, and both Clary and Isabelle jumped.

"Jace!" Isabelle said scornfully. "Don't sneak up on people like that!"

"Sorry sis." He said playfully and gave her a hug.

"Hey." He turned to Clary and gave her a kiss. "How're you?"

"I'm alright." Clary replied. "How about you? Izzy told me you were awake a lot last night."

"Yeah, couldn't sleep, but I'm ok now. Fell asleep around four I think."

"Good you got some sleep after all."

Clary's phone rang and she grabbed it off the table.

"Hey Simon!"

" _Clary! Hi! You're not busy are you?"_

"No, not at all. I just arrived at Izzy's. How are you? Do you know when you'll be here?"

" _Yeah, that's why so called. I'll be arriving at four pm tomorrow. Could someone pick me up?"_

By now Isabelle was standing on tiptoe to hear what Simon was saying, obviously excited that he was coming.

"I guess so. Hang on." Clary said, and pulled the phone away from her face.

"Izzy, can you pick up Simon at the airport tomorrow at four? You can use my car if you want to."

"Of course!" Isabelle replied, a huge grin spreading across her face.

"Izzy will pick you up Simon." Clary said, back at the phone.

" _Awesome!"_ Simon said. " _I'll see you guys tomorrow then! Got to go now, have to finish some last minute packing. Talk soon!"_

And withe that the phone disconnected.

"Happy?" Clary asked Isabelle as she turned to the mountain of pancakes on the counter.

"Yes," Izzy smiled, "very happy. It's been too long since I saw Simon. I've missed him."

"I'm sure you have. I'm glad to see that you two survived the time apart."

"Me too." she said and put the food on the table.

"Mhhh, pancakes!" Jace said happily. "Thanks Izzy."

He fell on the pile like a ravenous bear.

"Hungry much?" Clary chuckled as she turned to the door. Jace just nodded, Not taking his eyes off his plate.

"Alec! Magnus! Food is ready!" Clary called through the hallway.

"Coming!" Came Magnus's muffled voice from upstairs.

She snickered a little and took a seat at the kitchen table.

A few minutes later Magnus walked into the kitchen, combing through his hair with his hands, trying to make it behave.

He was followed by Alec, who was surreptitiously trying to straighten his shirt.

Jace looked up, his eyebrows shooting up, and he quickly looked away. His eyes met Clary's and both of them hid behind they cups of coffee, trying very hard not turned burst out laughing.

Despite the fact that Alex had come clean to his family about him dating Magnus, it was obvious that neither of them was particularly inclined to actually let them know exactly what they were doing.

Only problem was that they weren't all that good in hiding the evidence, which made for rather hilarious situation from time to time.

"Guys," Jace said, unable to resist the temptation of hounding his older brother. "If you want to fondle each other and not have us know about it, pass by a mirror _before_ you come downstairs next time."

Magnus just looked down at Jace, but Alec turned a shade of bright brilliant red and nearly choked on his first bite of pancake.

Izzy snorted and both Clary and Jace burst out laughing.

"Jace? What are you thinking about?"

Clary and Jace were outside in the garden, enjoying the afternoon sun. Isabelle had left shortly before to go pick up Simon from the airport, so everything was nice and quiet for a while.

Jace sat with his back against a willow tree and Clary was lying with her head in his lap.

"Nothing in particular." Jace replied, looking down to meet the bright green eyes that were staring up at him.

"You seemed to be miles away."

"I was thinking about my mom. How we used to sit out in the garden, a blanket on the grass, and her reading stories to me. And we always had homemade lemonade and biscuits with just never seemed to be anything to be worried about. Dad wasn't home that often, but when he was, we would make a treehouse or go out hiking…" His voice trailed off a bit and Clary put her hand on his, squeezing it a little.

"I often wonder how my life would have been if my father hadn't died, or my mother hadn't disappeared. When at least one of them would have been around. I miss them Clary. They weren't there at the graduation, they will never know that I'm going to college, going to law school, hopefully graduating there. They won't be there if I ever get married or have children."

He laid his head back against the tree and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jace." Clary said, and she sat up, putting her arm around his shoulders.

"Thanks. I know I can't really complain. I was taken in by a wonderful family, they never mistreated me and I have always been one of them. But it doesn't really take away the pain."

"Of course it doesn't. They were your parents, Jace. I think it's only normal for you to miss them, and to wish they were here with you now. A lot is going on, and no matter how hard you try to deny it, to look tough and keep going, you are hurting, badly. And I think that's the main reason why it's so hard on you now, isn't it?"

"Probably, yes."

"Still can't talk about it?" Clary tried, tentatively.

"No, not yet." came the answer she had expected.

Clary closed her eyes, not out of desperation, but rather to keep Jace from seeing the hurt she felt for him in them.

"Are you alright?" Jace asked, stroking her hair. "You were restless last night."

"I had a nightmare, I'm sorry I woke you though."

"You didn't, I noticed because I had been lying awake for a while already. Was it the same nightmare?"

"Yes, the same as before. The one where you don't get to me in time. But it's alright,you did get there in time after all, didn't you? That's what matters. Sadly my brain doesn't seem to agree and thinks it's a good idea to feed me horror ideas of what _might_ have happened instead." Clary sighed.

"I know, and I'm sorry for it. It'll get better though."

"Don't be sorry, it isn't your fault, Jace. And yes, I do hope it'll get better in time. Did it, for you?"

"Did it what?" Jace asked.

"Get better, the nightmares and stuff."

"Some things got better, yes. Maybe not all of them, but a lot did. And if it gets too bad, I read, or play the piano."

"I didn't know you played!" Clary exclaimed. "I never thought to ask who used that piano in the living room. Would you play something for me?"

"Sure, if you want me to." He smiled at her, a bright, warm and loving smile that made his eyes sparkle and his face shine.

"I would love to see, and hear, you play. Who taught you?"

"My father first. After he died my mother let me take lessons at a friend. Now I just do it on my own."

He got up and took her by the hand. Together they walked into the living room where Jace took a seat on the piano bench and opened the lid.

The black and white keys shone in the sunlight that filtered through the window. Clary settled herself in the armchair, facing the piano. She saw how Jace flexed his fingers, and suddenly the room was filled with music. In awe she looked at the boy, young man really, as his fingers moved effortlessly over the keys, making the nose beautiful sound she had heard in a long time.

When Jace stopped, Clary just sat and stared at him.

They were both brought out of their reverie by applause that came from the door.

"That was an amazing performance!" said Simon. He and Isabelle had apparently come back home and neither Clary nor Jace had noticed, their attention captured by the music.

Jace smiled, genuinely, but a little embarrassed.

"I'm ok, but I'm not particularly good or anything." He said modestly.

"Yes you are." Isabelle said. "You just don't want to admit it. I'm happy to hear you play though, it's been a while."

"I know, haven't had a lot of energy or inspiration to play lately. Clary asked me to play, so I did her a favour."

"Thank you for that." Clary said smiling. "It was wonderful."

Jace looked back at her, his eyes filled with sunshine, happiness and something else Clary couldn't quite pinpoint.

Shortly after that, Alec and Magnus came home too, and Clary ducked into the kitchen together with Isabelle to get dinner ready.

There was a happy hubbub going on in the garden with all their friends being back together. Simon had a whole lot to tell them about life at home. He came from a busy household having two brothers and three sisters. So there were always stories to tell, like how his younger sister Becky had had her first boyfriend, who had cheated on her and whose nose Simon had nearly broken in the ensuing fight. Or how Aaron, his older brother, had gotten a full scholarship to one of the most prestigious universities through his amazing football career.

The latest news however was that his eldest sister, Hannah, was pregnant with her first baby. It was wonderful news, since the couple had been trying for a while now without success.

Dinner that night was chicken enchiladas. The boys had pulled the large table from the garden shed to the terras and they had all sat around it till late at night.

It was around eleven when Jace's phone buzzers on the table. He took it to read the message and Clary felt him stiffen next to her. Just a little bit, almost imperceptible,but she felt it nonetheless. Shortly after that he announced he was tired and wanted to go to bed. Clary got up too, holding his hand, and bade everyone good night.

When they arrived in the bedroom Clary took hold of Jace's elbow and turned him over so he was looking at her.

"Jace," she said softly, "What was that message about?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Because you tended all over read it, and you left straight after that. Something is bothering you about it. Tell me, please?"

"No, really, it's alright. I'll just have to go out for a few hours tomorrow. That's all, I promise."

He looked at Clary, his blue-brown eyes pleading with her to understand.

Clary sighed and pulled him closer to her.

"One day, I'll be able to help you." She said, and hugged him tightly.

Jace sat on the side of his bed. It was nearly time to leave, he knew, but he seemed unable to act upon that knowledge. Coming late wasn't a good idea he knew, but he wondered if it truly mattered. After what had happened last time, well, it couldn't be worse than that, could it?

Clary was out with Simon and Isabelle. Jace had suggested that eyes visit the city, since it were sales and Isabelle had been dying to take Clary shopping for ages.

As he had expected Isabelle had grabbed hold if the idea and had simply forced Clary and Simon along with her.

Jace had known that, if Clary had still been at the house she would have tried to stop him from leaving, and he would have gone all with it, only to pay for it later.

So he had made sure she wasn't around now, no matter how much he missed her.

When he arrived at the manor house the door was unlocked. He pushed it open and went upstairs to the library.

Valentine was waiting for him, which in itself was rather unusual. He normally came in only after Jace had seated himself at the desk.

"Sit." He said, gesturing to the chair.

Jace did as he was told, his stomach knotting with trepidation.

As usual, Valentine unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it carelessly aside.

"You know, Jace. I wonder if you have forgotten one of the first rules I ever laid out for you." Valentine spoke, his voice soft, but crystal clear in Jace's ear.

Jace frowned, wondering what he was talking about.

"I told you, didn't I, that you were never to tell anyone about us, about what happens inside these walls. Never should anyone get worried or suspicious of your appointments with me."

Valentine's fingers were digging deep and painfully in Jace's shoulders.

"And I wonder, if somehow, you might have forgotten about that."

Before Jace could brace himself, the fingers left his shoulders and the sound of a belt cracked through the air, landing heavily and excruciatingly on his back.

On his way home, Jace texted Clary, telling her he'd be home in about an hour.

The actual walk home would only take him about fifteen minutes, but it would give him time to shower and take care of himself before she arrived.

He suspected she was still down town with Simon and Izzy, so that ought to be fine.

However, Jace had only just finished his shower when he heard footsteps on the landing in front of his door, footsteps he would recognise anywhere. He hastily grabbed for his shirt wanting to pull it over his head before the door would open, but he was hopelessly too late.

The door swung inwards and there stood Clary, her hair disheveled as though she had been running.

"Hi Jace!" she said, and then she froze.

 **A/N I hope you liked it! Please review! Feedback is most welcome!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N So here we go again! Hope you enjoy the read! :-)**

 **Lots of love!**

 **XV**

It wasn't just Clary who froze. Jace just stood there, holding his shirt in his hand. His face had drained of all color, even his lips were completely white.

"Jace?"

There came no reaction whatsoever, he just kept staring straight ahead of him when suddenly all the strength seem to leave him and he collapsed on his desk chair.

Clary rushed forward and dropped to her knees beside the chair, throwing up her arms to prevent Jace falling over.

"Clary." He said, his voice just barely a whisper.

"Clary, please leave."

"Jace, no! I can't leave you like this. Look at you!"

"Clary, please, please just leave."

His back was burning, blood still running in small streams from the welts.

Dizziness tended to overcome him and the side of his vision was already turning black.

This was not what he had expected, not at all. Clary wasn't supposed to find out, it would put her in danger and that was just about the last thing he wanted.

But her refusal to go, the adamant way she said it, made it all the more difficult.

"Jace!" Clary said, her voice clear despite the panic that had crept into it. "Listen to me, I'm not going anywhere. You can't do this, not now. You need me and you know it. Even if you don't say anything to me, if you don't want to talk to me. I don't care, but I'm not leaving you here."

His resolve broke, it shattered in a million tiny pieces like a breaking mirror, and he simply nodded, his eyes closed, fighting against the tears that threatened to overwhelm him.

He heard Clary sigh in relief as she stood up. She brushed through his hair before taking hold of his arm and pulling him up.

"Sit on the bed, Jace." She said, and guided him, as if she was afraid he might fall over again.

Jace sat down, dazed and hurting. He noticed he still held his shirt and looked at it, unsure of what to do with it. Seeing him staring at the piece of garment, Clary took it from his hands and put it on his desk, next to the first aid kit he had just taken from his drawers.

"If you turn around I can help you take care of your back." Clary said while she rummaged through the box taking out disinfectant, gauze and bandages.

As Clary worked on cleaning the welts on his back all Jace could think about was just in how much danger she was now that she knew what was going on. Although, he thought, at least she didn't know where he went or who he was meeting.

He hissed when she put disinfectant on one of the deeper wounds and she apologized, working more carefully.

After she was done, she put the bandages on and helped Jace put on his shirt.

Clary had hardly spoken while she was busy. It had taken all she had not to ask more questions, to force Jace to talk to her about what had happened and who had done this to him.

But all the while she had helped Jace take care of the bleeding cuts on his back her mind had been on the note she had hidden in her diary. The note that held the address of where Jace had gone a few weeks before. A plan had formed in her mind, a way to figure out who was hurting Jace.

By the time she was done, she knew exactly what she had to do. Whiteout saying much, they both crawled into bed and fell asleep.

"Jace, Simon and I will pass by my parents later today. Mom wanted to see him, so we're having lunch over there. Will you be alright?"

Clary and Jace were sitting at the kitchen table just after breakfast.

The night had been exhausting with Jace waking from several nightmares and being in a fair amount of pain.

"I'll be ok, don't worry. I'll probably try to get some extra sleep."

"Sounds like a plan. Text me if you need anything."

"I will. When do you leave?"

"In about an hour I guess. I haven't seen Simon yet today, so I'll give him a chance to wake up and have breakfast at least."

Jace smiled, but his eyes were sad with dark circles under them due to the lack of sleep.

"Clary?" He said, and looked at her. "Thank you, for last night."

"You don't have to thanks me, honestly. All you have to do now is get better."

"I know, but still I want to say thank you. I was afraid you'd run screaming when you saw what you saw."

"Jace, I've known for a while now that it was far worse than I thought at first. Your wrist for one thing, and when you took a shower at my place the other day, I noticed there was blood running through the water. I never said anything, never asked, just like I promised I would. But I have known, and it worries me."

"I know, and this may sound strange, but I'm glad you do. I can't really explain it, but it does help me."

"That's a comfort for me, at least. Now, go upstairs and try to get some sleep. I'll clean the kitchen up and come up if you want to."

"That would be nice." Jace said, and left the kitchen.

It was late that afternoon when Clary was finally able to set the plan she had made the evening before in motion.

She had to talk to Luke, privately, for starters.

She managed to intercept him when he went from the livingroom back to the garden.

"Luke." Clary called from the kitchen. "A minute, please?"

"Sure Clary, what's up?"

"I need to talk to you for a moment, privately."

"Come to the living room, your mother is busy listening to all Simon's stories, so she won't notice we're not around."

They both went off and took place on the sofa.

"What's up? Are you in trouble?" Luke asked, once they had settled themselves.

"No, I'm not in trouble."

"Then who is? You look seriously worried."

"I'm thinking Jace might be in trouble." Clary said softly. Her heart was thumping in her chest and her hands were clammy with sweat.

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know, it's just a feeling." Clary replied, unwilling to explain the whole situation. That wasn't up to her. It was Jace's story to tell to whomever he wanted after all.  
"But, could you check something for me? I found an address where he is going to regularly, and I kind of have the idea that that's the place where things go wrong. I'm not entirely sure, but just…" Her voice trailed off.

"Clary, why do you think that?" Luke asked again.

"I can't really explain Luke, I'm sorry. I just need to know the name that goes with the address so I can talk to Jace about it. He's not particularly forthcoming and I need information to get him to talk to me or to anyone really, so this situation can be resolved. I know it sounds weird, but can you trust me Luke?"

"I do trust you, Clary, of course I do. But you have to understand that it's a bit strange to just go digging after a name when there seems to be so little reason to."

Clary looked at Luke and took a deep breath. Getting his cooperation would mean that she had to give him some reason to go for it.

"Luke," she swallowed, her mouth dry. "I think Jace is being abused." The words tumbled out of her mouth, almost inaudible, but just enough for Luke to understand and his eyes went wide.

It took him a moment before he could speak.

"Oh Clary, if that is true, then something needs to be done. This isn't something you can solve for him."

"I know that Luke, but I need Jace to come forward with what is happening. But he seems scared to talk. If I can make him see that I have some information that might help, maybe he will talk after all."

"Alright, I'll look into it. Do you have the address?"

Clary took the note with the address out of her pocket.

"This is it. It's a big manor house, and it was a man opening the door. That's just about all I know."

"Thank you, I'll look into it and let you know when I find something. I'll see if there might be any connection between Jace and whoever is living there."

"Thank you, Luke." Clary said, and she felt a little lighter, like some of the weight that had been pressing on her shoulders had fallen off.

Most likely it would take Luke some time before he could get back to her, and she'd have to be patient, but it would be worth it, she hoped.

The next days passed in a relative calm. Clary spent most of her time at Jace's, as did Simon, although his time was mainly spent in Isabelle's room.

Since Clary had seen the state of Jace's back, she had insisted on taking care of it for him, rather than him doing it by himself. The first days were hard on both of them. Jace had to trust Clary, let her get close to him and not being able to keep that vulnerable and hurt side from her. For Clary it was hard to see the extent of his suffering first hand. Although she had known for quite a while now that Jace was hurting one way or another, it was something very different to really see it. It was absolute proof and now there was no way black.

It was almost two weeks since Clary had talked to Luke. She hadn't heard back from him yet, but due to colleagues who were on holiday, there wasn't a lot of spare time that he could use to start digging.

"Clary?"

It was Magnus who stood at the doorway of the living room.

"Yeah? What's up Magnus?"

"Alec and I are going to the movies tonight aI we were wondering if you guys wanted to come along. I already saw Simon and Izzy and they said yes. How about you and Jace?"

"I guess so. Let me go find Jace and ask. I'll let you know later on."

"Perfect! Movie starts at eight, so we'll see you there at seven thirty then!"

"Alright, see you later!"

Magnus left, his bright, happy, extravagant attitude leaving Clary smiling like always.

She took off to find Jace, who was most likely reading in the hammock they had put up in the back yard last week.

When Clary arrived she found Jace lying on his back, a book folded open on his lap and his eyes closed.

When she got closer though, Jace opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Hi there beautiful!" he said, and stretched luxuriously.

"Hello handsome." Clary giggled.

"You think I'm handsome do you?"

"Don't be silly, I just answered you in kind. But that's not why I'm here."

"You're not here just to admire my good looks?" Jace said with a mock scowl on his face.

"Sorry to disappoint you. But Magnus asked if we wanted to come along to the movies tonight. Izzy and Simon are going too."

"Sure, sounds good. So, how about you join me here in this awesome hammock till we have to go." And fast as lightning he flipped over and pulled a screaming Clary into the hammock.

"Where is Alec?"

Izzy stood at the entrance of the movie theater, hand in hand with Simon.

Clary and Jace stood next to her and Magnus was looking around, being the tallest of the lot he could see a little over the heads of the crowd around them.

"He should have been here by now." he said sounding worried. "I called him a few times already and he won't pick up his phone. That's nothing like him."

"Maybe his phone died on the way here." Jace said. "I'm sure he's just running a little late."

"You're probably right." replied Magnus. "Let's get inside and save him a seat. He'll turn up in a bit like you said."

He turned around and walked thigh the big double doors of the theater.

Luke was going through the files he had found regarding the address Clary had given him. When he had first gotten hold of the name, he had just wanted to tell Clary who it was. But then some flags had sprung up and he had started to dig deeper. " _What has Jace gotten himself into?"_ Luke thought, his head in his hands.

There was a huge stack of papers in front of him and he simply couldn't make sense of it all.

He was pulled out of his reverie when his colleague, Sam, passed him.

"What are you looking into?" He asked, leaning over Luke's chair to have a closer look. "Seems like a lot of work."

"That's ok, just checking on something for an older case. Thought I may have found a new lead."

"Alright. Give a shout if you need any help."

"Will do Sam, but for now I'm ok." Luke replied and went back to work.

The movie had finished, but there was still no word from Alec. He hadn't shown up late to the movie, hadn't sent a text message to any of them.

Jace was looking around nervously, just as Magnus. Isabelle had taken her phone out and tried calling him again.

"He doesn't answer but the phone is ringing. This is really weird." She said.

"Ok, let's split up." Jace suggested.

"Izzy and Simon, you take the car and drive straight home. See if he's here. Magnus Clary and I will go on foot and retake the way he would have taken to come here. Maybe we will find him that way. Keep your phones close and make contact as soon as you've found him."

"Sounds like a plan." Simon said. "Jace, you got the car keys?"

"Here you go." Jace replied as he tossed the keys to Simon, who caught them, took Isabelle by the arm and walked away.

Jace put his arm around Clary and they started walking together with Magnus.

It was getting dark already and Jace walked at a brisk pace. Clary nearly had to keep up with his and Magnus's long legs.

"Did he say where he was coming from, Magnus?" Clary asked.

"He said he went training before and he would come straight here after that. It didn't seem out of place so I made no point of it."

"No, of course not. It doesn't seem strange indeed." Jace said, without looking around.

All three of them kept waking, looking in alleys and around dumpsters.

Clary jumped when, after about fifteen minutes Jace's phone rang.

"Isabelle?" Jace said when he picked up.

"No, we haven't found him yet. You neither it seems. Just stay home in case he gets there. We'll keep you updated." and the phone disconnected.

"Nothing?" Magnus asked, worry coloring his voice.

Jace shook his head. "No, he wasn't at the house, but we'll find him, Magnus, I promise."

Another quarter of an hour passed with not so much as a trace of Alec, when suddenly Magnus shouted from next to a dumpster in the mouth of an alley.

"Jace! Clary! Over here!"

Both of them spun on their heels and ran over to where Magnus was standing.

When they arrived Clary did a double take, nearly throwing up. And even Jace, tough, ever collected Jace dropped to his knees, his mouth open in what seemed a silent scream for his brother.

 **A/N And we end on another cliffhanger ;-)**

 **I hope you liked it!**

 **Please read and review!**

 **Lots Of Love!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N so, here is another chapter of the story :-)**

 **Hope you still like it!**

 **Lots of love!**

 **XVI**

Isabelle and Simon were sitting on the couch, waiting anxiously for a phone call from the others. Simon had driven home like the devil was on his tail, skimming dark orange lights and nearly crashing into the gate when he arrived.

Once inside they had both sprinted through the house, checking every room, nook and cranny, but nothing.

They had called Jace, telling him the news and hoping that by that time maybe he had already stumbled upon Alec.

Nothing, however, and the flick of hope had died again when the call disconnected.

Isabelle was unusually quiet. She just sat there, staring ahead of her, her phone in her hand in case it might ring.

Every so often she tried calling Alec again, without success.

Simon sat next to her, his hand on her back, trying to be as supportive as he could. He knew what she was going through, having had the same experience about two years before when his sister hadn't come home after a night out with friends.

He had sat with his siblings and mother for hours on end, waiting for a call from the police. And it was just that, the waiting, that made the whole ordeal nearly unbearable.

His sister had been found, three days later, passed out and hurt, in an abandoned building. Those had been, beyond doubt, the longest days of his life.

Jace had dropped to his knees next to seemingly lifeless body of his brother. Magnus sat at the other side.

"Call 911!" Jace shouted, at no one in particular, and Clary dived for her phone.

"I've got a pulse!" She heard Magnus call out behind her.

Alec looked terrible. He had been beaten viciously, his face was bloody, one eye was swollen shut and had a terrible bleu-purplish color.

Obvious bruises were already forming on his arms and there were defensive cuts on his hands.

"Alec? Alec? Can you hear me?" It was Jace, whispering, tears streaming down his face. Magnus remained fairly calm, although Clary could see from the jumpy movements he made that he too was shocked and trying his hardest to keep it all together.

"Ambulance will be here in a few minutes." Clary said, sitting down next to Jace, putting her arm around him. "They'll take care of him then."

Jace just nodded, his eyes still on Alec.

"Someone needs to call Izzy." He said as he fumbled for his phone.

"Take mine." Clary said, stopping his hands, and she pushed her phone at Jace, Isabelle's number already on the screen.

"Izzy? We found him." She heard Jace say, his voice trembling.

"He… He's…" Jace's voice broke and Clary took over the phone.

" _Jace! Jace! What's wrong with Alec?"_ Came Isabelle's screaming voice from the other side.

"Izzy, it's me, Clary. Alec was attacked. We found him unconscious in an alley. He's in a pretty bad shape but the medics are on their way."

" _Where are you guys? Where did you find him?"_

"We're just behind _Chez Margauxx._ Halfway between the movies and your house. That's all we know for now."

" _I want to come."_

"Hold up for a second Izzy. We'll be out of here before you can arrive. I'll text you the name of the hospital as soon as possible and you can meet us there. I think I can hear them coming now, so they'll be here any minute now."

" _Alright."_ Isabelle sniffed.

Clary put the phone down and went back to Jace.

He sat, nearly motionless next to Alec, his hand wrapped around his brothers. He was whispering something, but she only noticed because his lips were moving. There was hardly any sound at all.

Clary took his free hand in hers, trying to offer comfort. She did the same for Magnus, who took it and looked at her gratefully.

A few minutes later the medics arrived. Clary, Jace and Magnus were pulled to the side while they worked on Alec, checking all the vital signs and putting him up on a stretcher.

Magnus was hovering close by, talking to the nurse, trying to explain how they had found him.

Jace stood back, leaning against the wall. His eyes were fixed on Alec, following every move that was made around him. His hands were clenched at his side and his arms were trembling.

He couldn't believe this was happening, not to Alec. The image of that first moment when he had seen him lying there seemed to be playing on a loop in his mind.

He felt Clary coming up to him and put her hand on his arm.

Jace wanted to do nothing more that to hold her, wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her hair, just to get away from reality. But he knew, if he did that, he would break down completely, something he really didn't want to do right now. Alec needed him, he had to be strong now.

It was only a few minutes later that Alec was placed in the back of the ambulance and they all drove off together. Clary had texted Isabelle where they were going so the could meet up.

All the way to the hospital, Jace held Alec's hand in his, silently praying for him. It had been over half an hour since he had been found and still he hadn't regained consciousness.

"Jace?"

It was Clary. Apparently they had arrived at the hospital, and he hadn't even noticed.

"Let go of Alec, Jace, they need to take him in for more check ups." she said, and she pried his hand off of Alec's.

Jace let go, albeit reluctantly and followed Clary to the lobby of the hospital where they were met by a frantic Isabelle. She took hold of Jace's arm and shook it, vigorously, and fired questions at him that didn't seem to take hold. He heard her talking, but couldn't put any meaning to the words. It all just seemed like nonsensical noise.

Suddenly Isabelle was pulled away from him and he felt strong warm hands on his arms that pushed him in a chair.

"Sit, Jace. I'm going to get you something to drink." he heard Simon say.

Clary was talking to Isabelle, a litte way away from him and Magnus sat next to him, his hands in his lap, staring ahead of himself.

A moment later a can of soda was pushed in his hands by Simon.

"Drink this." he said. "You look like you're about to faint."

Jace accepted it without speaking, but he nodded at Simon. He was right, Jace thought, he was about to faint. He felt heady and sick.  
Jace hated hospitals, the smell of disinfectant, the hard white lights that stung his eyes, the uncomfortable chairs in the lobby. It all brought back memories he'd rather forget. He remembered coming here, after his father had been killed, having to wait for hours while cops and medical staff talked to his mother. He got lost at one point, because he had wandered off being bored.

He tried breathing through his mouth, but even that didn't help. He seemed to taste, rather than smell, his surroundings, which made his nausea even worse.

"Jace, let's go outside for a moment." Clary said as she came to stand next to him. "You need fresh air."

"No, I have to be here."

"Jace, you come with me. Isabelle or Simon will call us if the medics come back before we do. Now let's go."

She took his hand, pulled him to his feet and rather forcefully walked him outside to a bench at the entrance of the hospital.

"I don't want to be here, I need to be inside." He said, and even to his own ears he sounded petulant and whiny, but it was exactly how he felt.

"You're no good to Alec if you faint halfway through." Clary said, looking at him. "Seriously, you look green, Jace."

"I know." He muttered, looking at his hands. "I hate hospitals, they bring back bad memories."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help you."

"Just stay here, close to me. It's the only thing that keeps me upright at the moment."

Clary hugged him, wanting nothing more than to cuddle him, swaddle him in a blanket and protect him from the world.

"Have our parents been notified?" Jace suddenly asked.

"I think he hospital would do that. I heard someone talk about it earlier. So I guess they will have called them already."

Clary's phone buzzed and she looked at the message that had appeared.

"Let's get back inside. Izzy's asking for us."

"How is he?" Jace asked when they arrived back in the lobby.

The nurse turned to him and said "He's stable now. We've had some work with him, but he'll make a full recovery. We have called your parents, so they are on their way home. They'll be here in a few hours probably."

"Can we see him? And what do you mean _you've had some work with him?_ " It was Magnus who spoke, his voice soft and a little hoarse.

"Yes, I'll take you to him. But please, he is still weak and needs time to recover. Don't stay over long or ask too many questions. The police have been notified too, they'll come in later to question you and your brother. As for what is wrong with him, he has a concussion, several cracked ribs, broken collar bone, sprained wrist and quite a lot of defensive cuts on his forearms."

With that she turned around and all five of them followed after her.

When they arrived at the room the nurse left them.

"You go first." Clary said to Magnus, Isabelle and Jace. "Simon and I can wait here for you. Five people at once will be too much I think."

"I'm not going in without you." Jace said, and gestured for Simon to take his place and support Isabelle.

"I can't do this without you there." Jace said to Clary.

"That's alright. I'll always be there for you."

They waited, sitting cross legged on the floor across the door of Alec's room.

After about ten minutes Simon and Isabelle came out.

"Magnus wanted a few minutes alone with him." Simon said when they sat down next to Clary.

"Of course." she said, "That only seems normal."

"How was he?" Jace asked.

"He's still out of it and he looks a mess. But his face is peaceful, so I don't think he's in a lot of pain right now." Isabelle replied.

"Good." Jace sighed and let his head rest against the wall behind him.

"I'll go check on Magnus."

Clary stood up and walked over to the door. She knocked softly, but there came no reply so she went in.

"Magnus?" she said quietly. There came no answer. Magnus sat next to the bed, his head bent, leaning on Alec's hand. Clary could hear Magnus whispering, but didn't understand him, it seemed like a foreign language. His shoulders were shaking, she noticed and realised he was crying.

In a few steps Clary stood next to Magnus, her hand on his shoulder. Magnus looked up, shocked.

"I'm sorry Clary." He said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Why would you be sorry?" Clary asked bewildered.

"You shouldn't see me like this, I should be the one helping you guys, not bawling my eyes out."

"Magnus! Please, you've been through as much as we have. He's your boyfriend, I wouldn't expect anything else from you than breaking down at some point. I mean, really, it's not because you're older than we are that you're not allowed to have your emotions or to show them."

"Thank you Clary." Magnus said, and he smiled a teary smile.

"I'll take my leave. Let me send Jace in." And he left the room.

It was the first time Clary had time to take a look at Alec. He was sleeping.

On eye was completely swollen shut and there were several bruises coloring his pale face.

There were bandages all over his torso and arms. His hands, despite several cuts, were left free of wrappings.

She heard Jace come in and stand behind her. He put his hand on Alec's, resting on the side of the bed. He was pale, looking a little sick.

Clary grabbed a chair so he could sit.

Clary watched Jace as he took in Alec's appearance. His eyes raked of his brothers face, his arms, torso, hands, taking in every detail.

Suddenly he took hold of Alec's left hand and looked at it, the little color his face still held, draining from it.

He looked at a small wound at the base of Alec's thumb, stroking it lightly. Then he let the hand go, suddenly, as if it had scorched his fingers.

Tears dropped onto the blankets as the final wall around him broke. He cried, his whole body shaking with heartbreaking sobs. Clary held him tightly to her as she cried with him.

Magnus insisted on staying close to Alec that night. He promised that he would call Jace and Isabelle when their parents arrived and told them all to go home.

"There's no need for all of us to be uncomfortable tonight. Go home, get some sleep and you can come back in the morning. I'll stay so he won't be alone in case he would wake up during the night." he said.

"Call me if he wakes up." Jace said, pleading clear in his voice.

"I will, but I'd rather you get some sleep first. You look like you're about to crash."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black." Jace replied, but he smiled nonetheless and shook Magnus's hand.

"We'll see you in the morning then." And they all left.

By the time they were all home and ready to go to bed it was well passed one in the morning. Jace was exhausted but had the feeling sleep wouldn't come easy tonight. Luckily Clary was there, so he hoped he'd find some rest after all.

He had taken a shower and set his blood smeared clothes to soak in the bathroom.  
Clary was waiting for him in his room. She sat on the bed, a tray with strong tea and crackers next to her.

The next morning found Jace, Clary, Isabelle and Simon in the kitchen trying to get some breakfast in their systems. Neither of them was particularly hungry, but food just happened to be necessary. Jace had taken some clean clothes for Alec to take to the hospital just before they left.

Upon entering the hospital room they saw that their parents had arrived sometime during the night. Maryse was awake, sitting next to the bed. Magnus and Robert were asleep, both perched crookedly in some kind of a recliner next to the window.

"Mom?" It was Isabelle. She ran at her mother, flinging her arms around her, nearly overbalancing them both.

Maryse made shushing sounds and patted her daughter gently on her back.

Isabelle was crying, all the pent up emotions and mention flowing out of her. Clary and Simon had kept to the side of the room, not wanting to intrude on the family. Jace stood next to Clary, his hand holding hers tightly. His face was a mask, hiding any and all emotion that he might feel.

Maryse looked at him and gestured to come to her. Stepping forward Jace was enveloped in her hug, together with his sister.

Clary noticed some of the tension in his shoulders leave him.

The family spent most of the day in or close by the room. Alec drifted in and out of consciousness all day. The police came by and to Clary's surprise it was Luke who came to interrogate them. He spoke to all of them separately. When it was Clary's turn he put cup of hot coffee in front of her.

"I thought you could use this." he said, pushing it to her.

"Thanks." Clary accepted the cup graciously and drank deeply.

Like asked several questions about the previous night and Clary told him all she could remember.

"Has there been anything at all that came across as odd, out of character, for anyone yesterday?" he asked finally.

Clary though, going over the events of the night before in her mind.

"No, not really." she said. But then she remembered how Jace had grabbed Alec's hand and stroked the small wound at the base of his thumb. She told Luke about to and he nodded promising her to look into it.

"Luke?" Clary asked, before getting up. "Have you found anything about the address I gave you?"

"I'm wI on it Clary. Something came up and I have to check it first. Make sure there is nothing I might miss. I promise I'll give you anything I get as soon as I'm sure of the intel."

"Thank you." Clary said and left the room.

When she arrived back at Alec's room she found that both Magnus and Robert were awake. But Jace, however was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Jace?" Clary asked when she noticed his absence.

"He went outside for some fresh air." Simon replied. "He asked for you to come when you got back."

"Thanks." Clary said and hastily left the room in search of Jace.

She found him at the hospital entrance pacing agitated from one wall to the other and back again.

"Jace? What's wrong?"

Jace started, he hadn't noticed Clary arriving.

"Nothing, I'm fine." He said, but his eyes wouldn't meet Clary's. In his hands he held his phone and his car keys.

"Jace, please talk to me. You're upset, please, tell me why."

Jace didn't stop his pacing and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I need some time alone." he said suddenly. "I'm going home, please tell my mom not to worry."

"Alright." Clary said, taken aback by this.

She stretched out her hand and took Jace by the arm. "Please be careful. Whatever it is you think you have to do, please try to take care of you. I can't lose you."

Jace nodded and hugged Clary before walking out to the car.

Jace's head was spinning. He could barely focus on the road before him, but he had to t home, and fast. His cellphone lay next to him on the passenger seat, the message he had received still visible.

 _~ How is your brother doing? ~_

 **A/N So? What do you think? Did you like it?**

 **Please leave a review!**

 **Love you guys!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N So here's another chapter.**

 **Thank you so much for all the reviews! They really make my day!**

 **Hope you enjoy reading!**

 **Lots of Love!**

 **XVII**

"Where is Jace?" Maryse asked Clary when she entered the room.

"He went home. He wasn't feeling well and wanted to be alone for a while." Clary replied as she sat down on a small space of unoccupied floor.

"Oh." Maryse said. She didn't press the matter but looked a bit confused.

Isabelle came to sit next to Clary. "Was Jace alright?"

"No, not really, but then again, after what happened last night I can't say I expected anything else. He had a terrible night, woke up more than once from nightmares,..." Clary's voice trailed off, not sure how much she could tell Isabelle. After all, it was Jace's private business what happened and if he wanted to tell anyone.

"I heard him, yes." Isabelle said. "I'm glad you're there for him though. I remember him having nightmares before, but he wouldn't let anyone in his room. I tried a few times but he always got so angry that I stopped trying." She looked sad and worried.

"Don't take it personally Izzy. Jace just doesn't want to bother anyone else with his own problems. I think he wanted to protect you, and the only way he could think of to keep you away from it was by being mad. Not at you, but at the situation. I truly believe that he wanted to tell you, or anyone really, but he was too scared."

"Why would he be scared?" Isabelle asked bewildered.

"I don't know." Clary said honestly. "I'm still trying to figure it all out. Because despite the fact that I can stay with him at night, that he will let me comfort him and be there for him, he doesn't tell me anything. I don't know what's going on, I don't know why there are still so many nightmares. I'm just there, helping him calm down and find his bearings, but I don't have a single clue as to why these problems are there. I can only hope that at some point he might trust me enough to talk to me.

Isabelle nodded, her eyes thoughtful.

"But what if it's not about trust? What if it is something else entirely?"

"Like what?"

"Could he be scared? You know, someone who might be putting pressure on him or something?"

"It could be, but I don't know. I don't think I know him well enough to figure that out. The only thing I can think of is that, when he gets home from tutoring, he's always so exhausted."

"I know, I've noticed that too, but then again, it is exhausting if you have to get extra classes after school, isn't it?"

"You might be right, maybe it's got nothing to do with it." Clary said, looking down at her hands.

A moment later the room was almost in uproar since Alec had finally woken up. Clary stood, next to Simon at the edge of the room, giving space to the family to be close.

Jace was pacing up and down his room, his head a whirling mass of thoughts and ideas. From the moment he had seen the V shaped incision on Alec's hand, he had been wondering if Valentine had had anything to do with the attack.

The text message confirmed that, and it had left him in a state of panic and rage. It had taken everything he had to get home safely, to keep his head together for as long as he was driving the car. After that he had gone up to his room and screamed himself hoarse, throwing his pillows through his room and nearly upending his desk in frustration.

He had to do something, he had to act. Valentine had really gone too far this time and he would make him pay.

When he calmed down enough to gather his wits about him Jace sat down at his desk and scribbled a note to Clary.

 _I went out for a while. Need to clear my head don't know when I'll be back. Don't worry about me._

Eventually Alec send everybody out, ordering them to go eat and drink something.

Clary was the last one to leave the room when she heard Alec call her back.

"Yes?" She said, and went back to the bed, gesturing to Simon that she would catch up later.

Alec motioned to her to come sit on the bed.

"Thank you." He whispered.

Clary looked confused at Alec, wondering what he meant.

"For what?" She asked, when he didn't continue.

"For taking care of Jace and Magnus. I heard flashes of it last night when you were in the room here with them."

"Oh Alec, that's nothing really. Anyone would have done the same."

"Not everyone, but you did it. Not just for Jace, but also for Magnus, and you don't even know him that well."

"It just seemed so normal and natural to do it. They were distressed, they needed someone to comfort them."

"I know, and I really want to thank you."

"You're most welcome Alec, really, and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, let me know." Clary winked at him, and Alec laughed.

"Auch!" He said, grimacing. "Don't make me laugh Clary, my ribs hurt!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she said. "Get some rest Alec. I'm going to find the others and get some food. We'll talk again soon."

When Jace arrived at Valentine's house he was completely out of breath. He had taken his bike instead of the car, thinking others might need it. He had regained some of his calm before he had left the house, but that all seemed gone again.

He paused a moment to take some measure of control again over his breathing and walked up to the door.

Jace had never before come to Valentine without being summoned. His heart was hammering in his chest, making it difficult to breathe.

He pushed the doorbell and waited. The lights were on, so he knew someone was home.

The door creaked open and an unfamiliar face showed up.

"Who are you?" The young man asked.

He was tall, had a strong, muscled build and, like Valentine, he had hazel eyes and dark brown hair, almost black, but not quite.

"I'm looking for Valentine." Jace said.

"Ah Jace." Valentine's voice came from behind the young man and Jace saw the familiar hand appear on the shoulder of the stranger.

"Sebastian, step aside, let Jace enter."

Sebastian moved aside and opened the door a bit further so Jace could step inside.

The unexpected appearance of Sebastian had thrown Jace off guard.

"Sebastian, please meet Jace, he's one of my pupils." Valentine introduced the young man formally. "Jace, this is Sebastian, my son."

Jace looked from one to the other without speaking. Then he offered his hand to Sebastian who shook it. "Nice to meet you." He said.  
Before Jace could answer though Valentine interrupted their conversation.

"I don't recall asking for you to come here today." He said. "I thought you might have other things on your mind, Jace. How is your brother doing, by the way?"

It was the trigger for Jace. All the pent up emotion and anger of the past twenty four hours came spilling out.

"You!" He shouted. "It was you who attacked him! Or you ordered others to do it for you! Why? Why did you do it?"

Sebastian, Jace noticed, had taken a few steps closer to Valentine, like he wanted to protect him. Valentine however held the younger one at arms length and stepped forward.

"You needed a reminder, Jace. A reminder of our agreement."

"What do you mean? I never told anyone!"

"Not yet, but you wanted to, didn't you? You wanted to tell your pretty red haired girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend!" Jace yelled, also stepping closer to Valentine, which made them almost nose to nose. "And leave Clary out of this! She's got nothing to do with it!"

"Oh but she does, Jace, she does. And you needed a reminder to make sure you kept your end of the bargain."

Jace shook his head, trying to clear it.

"And be aware, Jace," Valentine continued, "That this is just the beginning. You have no idea what I can do, and what I _will_ do, to make sure you don't stray."

Jace lost it completely. Attacking Alec had been bad, threatening to hurt Clary made him see red. He advanced on Valentine, fists clenched, forgetting that the elder man was quite a bit taller than he was, not to mention far stronger. Jace just didn't care. He flung himself at him, trying to hit every part he could reach. He punched his arms and felt his nails scrape the side of his face.

Valentine however caught him by the arms and when he wouldn't stop wrestling, backhanded him hard on the side of the head.

Jace flew backwards, the force of the blow knocking him off his feet. He landed in a crumpled heap on the cold tiled floor and skidded away. He only stopped when his head banged against the banister and he blacked out completely.

As Clary arrived at the Lightwood house she noticed Jace wasn't there. Running up to his room she found the note he had left for her. Her heart rate dropped perceptible as she read the note a few times. Texting Isabelle to bring her up to speed she decided to go home for the night. She needed her mom now. As an afterthought she added to the text _~ Call me when Jace gets home. He might need me. ~_

Clary took her car keys off the kitchen table and left.

Her mother was waiting for her when she got home.

"Oh Clary! Are you alright?" she asked, as soon as her daughter got out of the car. "Luke called to tell me what had happened. Why didn't you call us last night?"

"I'm sorry mom, there was just so much going on. The hospital had called the Lightwoods and I was just so caught up in the whole thing. I know I should have called you." Clary leaned against her mother's shoulder, all the emotions and dress weighing her down.

""Don't worry about that now. Just go a clean up a little and come down for dinner. I made spaghetti Bolognese."

"That sounds wonderful mom. Will Luke be home too?"

"Yes, he should be here any minute. Now go." her mother said and pushed Clary to the stairs.

"Magnus?"

Alec was propped up in the hospital bed, pillows all around him to make his as comfortable as possible. Magnus sat in a stuffed armchair next to the bed, staring into space. He started a little when Alec spoke and looked up guilty.

"What? Do you need anything?"

"No Magnus, I don't need anything. But you were staring into nothingness for so long, I thought you had vanished to another planet."

"Oh Alec, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Alec said. "It have been a hard few days for us. I don't blame you for spacing out on me. But I would want you to talk to me though. You're hurting, I can see that, but you're not talking. And I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"You are still recovering Alec, I shouldn't bother you with my troubles."

"That's rubbish and you know it Magnus!" Alec said crossly. "Now you have just about five minutes to start talking before I get really mad at you. Yes I am still recovering, but worrying about you doesn't help."

Magnus looked abashed.

"Alright," he said, still looking at his hands rather than at Alec. "The past day has been one of the worst of my life. When I found you lying there, behind that dumpster, I thought I'd lost you. Truly you looked as if you had died. And despite everything I have seen and been through in my life, I can't remember ever feeling so helpless and distraught as then. I was truly afraid you wouldn't make it."

Magnus had his head in his hands by now. Tears were dripping from his nose.

Alec took Magnus's hand in his, holding it firmly.

"I'm sorry I made you feeI that way. Let's hope they find whoever did this so we can move on. But most of all let's be gratefully we are both still here, and that nothing worse happened last night.

Jace woke up, feeling dazed and sporting a murderous headache. He wanted to put his hands up to his head to feel the extent of the damage but found that he couldn't move his hands properly. They had been bound together with a length of rope that bit viciously in his wrists.

"You're awake." Came an unfamiliar voice from his left. Jace turned his head to see who was there, but was rewarded by a starburst behind his eyes. He must have hit his head rather hard, he thought.

When he opened his eyes again he saw Sebastian, sitting on a comfortable chair next to him.

"Standing guard over me?" Jace asked, disgust lacing his voice.

"Just making sure my father's favorite pupil didn't sustain any permanent damage." Sebastian replied. "Yet." He added, almost as an afterthought.

Jace's stomach clenched, partly as reaction to the words, partly because he felt really sick due to the pounding his head.

"It wasn't a very smart move to come here uninvited, now was it." Sebastian continued. "You put yourself in a rather difficult situation. My father really doesn't like it when his pupils don't do a they're told."

"I know." Jace said. "I've got plenty of evidence for that statement."

"Then you really are an idiot for coming here. Well, it doesn't matter anymore anyway. I'll go tell father you're awake, shall I." And with that the young man left the room.

Jace tried to clear his head, to force himself to think clearly to find a way out. But his head was fuzzy, like it was filled with cotton wool. Any attempt at each would be futile anyway. His hands were tightly bound together and tethered to a metal ring in the floor. Looking around the room he notified that it was the room on the third floor. Images of the events of the last time he had been here flashed by and he nearly threw up. He felt bile burn the back of his throat and coughed.

It wasn't long before Sebastian walked back into the room, followed by Valentine.

Jace looked up at both men, trying to measure them, find a hint in their behaviour as to what they planned on doing to him. But their faces were like mask and gave him nothing.

"Jace..." Valentine said, his voice soft, but as threatening as ever. "You came to my house, uninvited, barging in on time I wanted to spend with my son, and on top of that you make a scene and try to attack me." His fingers touched three bright red lines on his face where Jace's nails had drawn blood earlier.

"Now, what are we to do with you?" Valentine continued.

"You could just scold me and throw me out." Jace suggested, trying to hide the creeping feeling of fear underneath a thick layer of sarcasm.

"No, I don't think that will do." Valentine replied, looking thoughtfully at Jace.

"Since he stole our time together, we might just as well have our fun with him, don't you think father?" Sebastian cut in.

Jace's stomach dropped and he felt himself go pale.  
This wasn't good.

It was almost ten, night had nearly fallen and Clary was lying in her bed, covers tucked up all the way to her nose. She had her phone in hand and was staring at the blank screen.  
By now she had expected Isabelle to have called or texted her to let her know Jace had gotten home alright. But nothing had shown up. It could be, of course, that she had already fallen asleep and hadn't noticed Jace coming home, but it didn't really help Clary with the nagging feeling in her stomach telling her something was wrong.

It wasn't really like Jace to leave her in the dark like this, and she was scared he would have done something reckless or stupid to get himself into trouble.

During dinner Luke had talked to Clary a little bit about the case of Alec's attack, but they didn't have a lot of leads.

Eventually Clary decided to put on her favourite audiobook to help her fall asleep. She was exhausted and waiting up to hear anything wouldn't do her any good. She thought it might be better to get as much sleep as she could so she could be there fully the next day for Jace, Magnus and Alec.

She turned over, grabbed one of the stuffed animals to hold onto and closed her eyes.

It felt like only minutes later that Clary's phone rang and she shot upright.

"Hello?" she said, still rubbing sleep from her eyes.

" _Clary!"_ It was Isabelle on the other side of the line, sounding completely panicked.

" _Clary! We need you to come over! NOW! Something is wrong with Jace!"_

 **A/N And... another cliffy... #sorrynotsorry ;-)**

 **Please let me know what you think!**

 **Kiss**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Christmas treat for you guys!**

 **Hope you enjoy and Merry Christmas to all of you!**

 **XVIII**

It took Clary a minute to let Isabelle's words sink in.

"Wait… What? What's going on?" she stammered

" _I don't know Clary!"_ Isabelle said. " _Just get over here! Quickly! Jace barred himself in his room, won't talk to any of us, but I heard him crying! Come on, Clary! We need you here!"_

"Alright! I'm leaving right now! Tell Jace I'm on my way." Clary replied while grabbing for some clothes she could pull over her pyjamas and trying to reach for her bag which had slid beneath her bed.

"I'm almost at the truck Izzy, I'll be there in five."

She ran down the stairs two at a time, ignoring her mother's calls behind her. The truck was parked at the sidewalk and she lunged for the door, flinging it open and jumping behind the wheel.

She was on the road before her mother and Luke could appear in the doorway. Driving like the devil was chasing her from the seventh circle of hell she pushed her foot down cursing her car for not going fast enough. Despite the overwhelming feeling of panic, her mind seemed the remain fairly clear. She could think straight, drive relatively safe and even begin to think of a plan on how to reach Jace in case he wouldn't allow her in his room. Her phone buzzed on the seat next to her, but she ignored it. She was almost at her destination and the only thing that truly mattered right now was getting to Jace as soon as she possibility could.

As she turned into the street she noticed that the Lightwoods driveway was empty. Without thinking twice she steered the car onto it, slamming her foot down on the brake and skidding to a stop inches from the porch. She hardly noticed as she flung the door open and ran inside, straight up the stairs towards Jace's room. Only when her hands were touching the wooden door frame did she look around.

There was blood on the wall, a handprint that was smeared over the light wallpaper, going from a dark burgundy red to faint almost coral red smudges at the end.

Beside her stood Jace's family, Isabelle closest, her face blotchy from crying, her makeup smeared underneath her eyes. Simon stood next to her, his hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

On the other side stood Jace's parents, their faces white as paper, eyes profound with dark circles under them, indicating a serious lack of sleep over the past days.

"What is going on?" Clary asked, almost whispering.

"I heard him come home, about half an hour ago." Isabelle said. "I didn't really think anything of it, it's not that strange, you know." Clary shook her head.

"But when I kept listening I heard he was stumbling on the stairs, and he seemed to be gasping or crying or something. I was still half asleep so I didn't react so fast as I should have. By the time I got out of my room he had already gone into his room and locked the door. I went over, trying to talk to him through the door, but he just shouted at me that I had to go away, that he didn't want to talk to me. It was only when Simon came to me that I noticed this." She pointed at the blood on the wall.

"I tried again to talk to him, but he wouldn't say anything. I could only hear him crying. Mom and dad tried too, but with no luck. After I called you I went to check the rest of the house, where he had been before he went to his room. I found blood at the front door too, and on the stairs."

Tears were rolling down Izzy's cheeks now and Simon took hold of her, enveloping her in a warm embrace.

"Let me talk to him." Clary said, putting her hand on Isabelle's in comfort.

"Do you think you can get in?" It was Maryse who spoke, sounding sad and worried but remarkably collected.

"I think so, Maryse." Clary replied. "I hope so. But I also think I should do this alone."

Everyone nodded and turned to leave.

"Don't close the living room door. I'll call out if in need anything." she said to Simon before he walked downstairs. Simon looked at Clary, his eyes full of sorrow and worry for his friends.

"I'll keep listening. Do you need anything now?"

"Some tea would be nice."

"Pot of hot tea coming up. I'll bring it in few minutes. If you're already inside, I'll just leave it at the door."

"Thank you Simon." Clary said, and pecked a kiss on his cheek.

Jace could hear Clary talking to Simon before she came back over to the door. He wanted to talk to her so badly, but he was terrified. Valentine had managed to make his message come across very clearly.

"Jace?" Came Clary's voice from the other side of the door. He didn't answer, but shifted on his bed, trying to find a different, more comfortable position.

"Jace, I know you can hear me and I know you're awake. So please, talk to me."

He could hear Clary settling at the other side of the door, just waiting for him to open it. Jace got up from the bed, groaning as he did, and moved over to the door. He propped a pillow against the doorframe and sat down, leaning against the door, just to be closer to Clary. His whole body hurt, he could feel blood trickling down his back, soaking his T-shirt and the pillow he leaned against. He shifted his position and nearly screamed as the friction against his back shot agonising pain through his body.

Clary felt the door move and knew Jace had sat down at the other side, leaning against the door. She imagined him, his back bent, knees pulled up to his chest, arms around them. She saw his head, resting on his arms and his blond hair falling over his eyes. She wanted to touch him, her whole body yearned to feel him, hold him close, comfort him, yet the door stood in between and he was the only one who could let her in.

"Are you there?" She said softly, knowing he was so close to her he could hear her, even if she just whispered.

At that moment Simon came back upstairs, carrying a tray with a pot of tea, cups and cookies. Clary gestured at him to leave them at the top of the stairs and go back to the others. She didn't want Jace to feel like there was anyone else listening in on their conversation. Simon nodded, put the tray down and left.

"Clary?" Jace said, putting his head against the door. It felt cool against his burning hot skin. "Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here." she replied. "Please talk to me Jace, or let me in."

"No, you can't see me like this." He said, his voice sounding rough and cracked even to his own ears.

"Jace, I don't care how you look. I care about you, just you. There is blood on the wall next to where I'm sitting, there is blood at the front door and on the stairs. Please Jace, something is seriously wrong. Please let me see you."

Jace's eyes flew open. He hadn't realised he'd left such a trail behind. No wonder everyone was so worried. During the past hour he had hardly listened to what anyone had been saying to him or to each other. He had shut himself down, not wanting to hear anything, but just to sink away in oblivion, away from the excruciating pain of his body.

"I don't know, I'm scared." He said, and it was true. He felt more scared now than he had at age ten when he found his father dead at the bottom of the stairs. Even more than when his mother had vanished from the face of the earth not a year later.

"Why are you scared? Can you tell me?"

"Not really. I don't want to involve you any further. What if something happens to you?"

"What on earth could happen to me?" Clary sounded a little taken aback. "What does this whole situation have to do with me?"

"You have no idea." Jace replied. "Truly, you have no idea. And I don't want you to know either. I just have to keep you safe."

Clary heard Jace shift his position and a gasp followed hard and clear.

"Jace, for the love of all that's holy, please open this door. You're hurt, you shouldn't be there on your own now! Just let me help you." There was a note of desperation in Clary's voice when she spoke. It hurt so badly to know that Jace was so close and yet she couldn't help him.

"I'm not sure you can help me." Came Jace's voice through the door, and it sounded so defeated that tears sprang in Clary's eyes.

"Neither am I, Jace, but at least I can try. Just turn the lock of your door and move aside a little bit. No one else is here right now, it's just me and a tray with tea and cookies."

"I'll open up if you bring the tea and cookies along." He said.

Clary let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding.

"Good, let me get the tea, it standing at the stairs." she said and turned.

Behind her she could hear the lock of the door click.

Jace turned the lock of his door and shuffled back resting his head against the side of his bed. He saw the door open and Clary came in, holding a tray, just as she had promised. She put the tray on the desk next to the door and turned to face him.

"Oh Jace!" She exclaimed as she saw him sitting on the floor next to his bed. She came rushing over and dropped to her knees beside him.

"I'm alright." He whispered as she put her hand on his arm.

"No, Jace, you're not. Have you seen yourself? You're a bloody mess, literally! And you're as pale as a sheet. So don't give me crap like _I'm alright_ because I won't buy it!"

Jace chuckled, this was his Clary, she always got angry when she was scared, and it made her so cute, he thought, although he'd never tell her that.

"So can you tell me what happened? I mean, everybody knows now that something is wrong, there is no hiding it anymore. And I know you're scared, but maybe if you talk to Luke it'll help you? Would you feel safer that way?"

"Maybe, yes." Jace whispered, his head resting on Clary's shoulder. "I'm so sorry I got you into this whole mess, Clary. I never wanted any of this. For years I managed to keep everyone out, and you of all people, the one I want to keep safe above anything else, you get caught in the middle."

"Jace, you didn't involve me, I did that myself. I'm the one who brought it up, who wanted to talk about it."

Jace nodded into her shoulder. He was feeling faint and dizzy, like he was going to be sick at any moment. Swallowing hard and trying to breath through his nose he managed to regain control over his stomach.

"I know that what you say is true, but it doesn't feel like that. I've always kept everyone at a distance because of this. No one could really get close to me. But with you, that just never was an option. There was just no denying what I felt for you. And just the fact that the nightmares stayed away for both of us when we were together meant the world for me. But now everything seems to collapse. Alec was attacked because of me, you were threatened, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"You have to talk to someone who can help you, who can protect you and, if necessary, others too. Please, just talk to Luke, I'm sure he'll know what to do."

"I'm so scared, Clary, not really for myself, but for you and for my family."

Jace looked up, his eyes sunk low into his skull, dark shadows running around them. He really looked like a mess and he saw tears in Clary's eyes.

She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips, careful, but firm enough to make him sigh a little and lean into it.

When they broke apart he put his hand to her cheek to wipe away the tears that had rolled down.

"Don't cry." He whispered in her ear. "Please don't cry."

She nodded and ruffled his hair.

Jace shifted on the floor, his eyes on his hands, and groaned as the fabric of his shirt caught on a welt on his back.

"Let's get you up on your bed first. I'm sure it will be more comfortable for you than here on the floor, don't you think?" Clary said as she pushed herself up again and offered her hand.

"Just give me a minute." Jace said as he tried to adjust himself so he could get up.

Clary took hold of his hand and place her free hand on his elbow trying to help him up. It all went too fast though and Jace felt everything around him fall away as darkness overtook him.

Clary caught hold of Jace as he fainted, just in time to keep him from hitting the floor face first. He was too heavy for her though and she nearly collapsed underneath his weight.

"Simon! Magnus!" She yelled as her knees gave way.

There was an uproar from downstairs and Clary heard everyone rushing up the stairs.

It was who reached her first and lifted Jace bodily off her. He carefully repositioned him so he could carry him bridal style to the bed and lay him down.

"What happened?" Maryse asked as she entered the room.

"He wanted to get back up the bed, but he fainted. Maybe he got up too quickly."

"Or maybe he lost too much blood." Said Magnus from behind her.

Clary spun around to find staring down at his hands. They were stained bright red with Jace's blood.

"Isabelle, call an ambulance." Robert said to his daughter, who dashed out of the room in search for a phone.

"Simon, call Luke, we need him. Try the landline if he doesn't pick up his cellphone. I don't care if you wake anyone up." Clary said.

She had just noticed that she too was covered in blood where Jace had fallen against her. She felt sick and rushed to the closet to find clean clothes.

"I'll be right back." She said and vanished into the bathroom where she threw up violently before stepping into the shower. IIt took her a while before she got her breathing under control. She stood in the shower, leaning against the cold tiles, heaving. There was nothing left in her stomach and all that came up was bile.

Quickly she washed her hair and body, ridding it of any residue of blood.

Once she was done she stepped out from underneath the hot water, dried her hair and put it up in a bun to keep it out of the way. She threw on her clean clothes and walked back to Jace's room.

Isabelle was standing in the doorway, talking to her father, Maryse sat at the side of the bed, holding Jace's hands whispering to him. Magnus and Simon stood at the window, looking out for the medics to arrive, Clary thought.

She walked over to the bed and sat down opposite of Maryse. She could hear what she was saying and to her surprise she recognized a prayer. Clary had never thought of the Lightwoods as a religious family, but then again, times like this, people often did things they otherwise never would.

Clary looked down at Jace, his face pale against the pillow. His breathing seemed to have eased a little, but the stillness with which he lay there was scary. He never was this still, not even while he was sleeping.

"Luke is here." Simon said from the window. "And so is your mom, Clary."

He stood up and went downstairs to open the door for them.

"Medics should be here soon." Magnus said as he turned to look at the room.

Simon came back in, followed closely by Luke and Jocelyn.

"What is going on?" Luke asked, coming over to Clary and sitting next to her.

"Clary? What happened?"

"I don't really know, Luke. We don't know where he went tonight, but when he came back he was all bloody and beaten up. He locked himself in his room at first. It took us almost an hour to get him to open the door. He said he was scared, that what happened to Alec was his fault somehow, I don't know Luke. He was rambling."

Tears ran down Clary's cheeks.

"Shhh" Jocelyn said and wrapped her arms around her daughter. "Things will be fine."

Clary looked up at her parents, wanting so badly to believe them.

"Luke," she said, "You have to find out who did this. They have to be punished!"

Luke nodded, his face grim. "I know sweetheart, I will do whatever I can."

"Thank you." Clary whispered and she turned her attention back to Jace, willing him to wake up.

The sound of sirens cut through the night and blue flashing lights lot the room through the open window. "They are here." Magnus said and left to wait for the medics at the door.

A few moments later the room was full of people dressed in almost neon yellow suits, checking Jace, talking to Luke who managed to explain most of the situation to them without having to bother the family.

Clary stood at the far wall of the room, trying to give the nurses as much space as possible. Next to her she could hear Luke murmuring. He was obviously putting information together from what everyone had told him and the digging he had been doing over the past days.

Then Clary thought she heard him say a name that rang a bell.

"Did you say Valentine?" she asked.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Happy New Year to all of you.**

 **Here you go with a new update! Hope you like it!**

 **XIX**

"Yes, I did. Do you know that name?" Luke asked, looking surprised.

"It's the name of someone who tutors Jace for chemistry. He goes there regularly. How do you know that name?"

"It's linked to the address you gave me a while ago. And he's tutoring Jace you say?"

"Yes, for as far as I know at least."

Luke stared ahead for a moment. "I have some digging to do. I'll escort the lot of you to the hospital and then I'm going to the station.

"Luke, what is going on?" Clary asked, a note of panic in her voice.

"I don't know yet, Clary, but this might be a lot bigger than any of us thought. I just have to make sure before I talk to anyone that my assumptions are right. I promise to keep you updated."

The medics were carrying Jace downstairs on a stretcher. He was still unconscious and Clary's heart broke all over again at the sight of him.

Maryse and Robert went with Jace in the ambulance. Luke and Jocelyn brought the kids and Magnus along in the mini van.

When they arrived at the hospital they found the Lightwood parents waiting in a double room. One bed was occupied by Alec, who was asleep, the other one was empty, waiting for Jace to be brought in.

"Mom?" Isabelle asked when they came in. "Do you know something already?"

"No baby, not yet. The nurses couldn't say much yet. They'll have to do some scans and Xrays to get something conclusive. He hadn't regained consciousness yet when we arrived. But Magnus was right, he did lose a lot of blood before."

Maryse looked distraught, her face paper white, dark smudges under her eyes. It must be hard, having two sons in the hospital in such a short time. Robert stood next to her, his hands around her, holding her up.

"Maryse," Clary said, walking over to Jace's adoptive mother. "Luke told me that we had to call him the moment he woke up. And not to let him talk to any other officer, only to Luke."

"Why is that?" Robert asked.

"I'm not sure, he didn't really explain. Obviously he wanted to get to the station as soon as he could so he just told me to call him."

"Alright, we will. It's probably best for Jace too, you know, to talk to someone he already knows."

"I think so yes, that's what got him to open the door. I told him he could talk to Luke, to tell him what happened."

"Thank you, Clary." Maryse said, taking hold of the girl's hand. "Thank you for coming over so soon, for taking care of our son. God knows what might have happened had you not been there, or had it taken more time to get inside."

"That's all right, really. I'm happy I could help." Clary replied, and walked over to sit on the floor next to Isabelle and Simon.

Magnus sat on the bed next to Alec. He was awake now, his face worried. Magnus had been filling him in on what had happened to Jace.

Their attention go caught by a nurse who entered the room.

"He is in surgery at the moment. There was a fractured rib that was rubbing against his lung, nearly puncturing it. We were just in time to prevent it. It'll take a while though before he can come here. If you wish we can call you when he's out of recovery so you can go home."

"No, we'll stay." Maryse said, a finality in her voice that made the nurse nodd.

"I'll bring some blankets so you can at least be a little comfortable. As soon as there is new I'll let you know."

"Thank you." Robert said before the nurse left the room again.

Clary had grabbed hold of the sketch pad that was always lying around in Luke's car just before she had entered the hospital. Finding herself idle and having trouble settling down she took it out of her backpack and started drawing.

She let her mind wander, picking an image, a memory she wanted to draw. After a minute or so she settled on the image of a few weeks previously, of Jace, asleep in the hammock in his backyard, the sun making his golden hair sparkle. His face had been so peaceful and relaxed. Without conscious thought Clary's hands moved over the paper, bringing the memory to life in front of her. It soothed her mind, taking away some of the immediate worry over Jace, of what had happened and how he was doing now.

The nurse had brought blankets and pillows so they could rest. Magnus was lying next to Alec on the bed, Robert and Maryse had settled on the bed that would become Jace's. The other blankets and pillows were spread out on the floor so Isabelle, Simon and Clary could lay down a bit. Clary lay flat on her stomach, her sketch pad in front of her. Simon had curled himself around Isabelle and both of them were asleep.

The familiar scratching noise of the pencil on paper gave Clary some peace. She couldn't remember the last time she had dived into her artwork like this, hoping to forget her surroundings, to drown in doing what she loved and leave the world behind.

Clary started when there was a knock on the door. Looking around she noticed that everyone else was asleep.

She got up quietly, not wanting to wake anyone and walked over to the door.

A nurse stood at the door in the hallway. He gestured at her to come away from the door.

"Is everything alright? Is Jace ok?" asked Clary, a little confused.

"Jace is fine, he will go to recovery soon." The nurse answered. "I just don't want to wake anybody up. They need their rest. You don't have to worry, really. He will be here soon. I just wanted to make sure you guys were doing alright. It's been a rough few nights for the family, hasn't it?"

Clary leaned against the wall, feeling suddenly exhausted.

"It hasn't been easy, no. First Alec, now Jace, and no one really knows what is happening. It was really scary, finding Jace like that, having him pass out on me." Her legs were trembling, like the had trouble keeping her weight up.

"Come along, you look faint. Some fresh air might do you good." He said, and took Clary by the arm to lead her away from the room. Clary followed him, a little confused. Once they stepped outside she felt the nurse grip her arm tightly, enough to make her gasp in pain.

"What…?" She said, but before she could finish her question a rag was pressed to her face and the world went black.

Jace felt drowsy. He tried to open his eyes, but they seemed glued shut.

"What…" He tried to speak, but his throat was dry, like old parchment, and his lips cracked, spilling small droplets of blood that rolled down and stained his pillow.

A nurse came to the side of his bed, offering some water.

"Don't talk yet. You're just out of surgery." he said. "I'm glad to see you're coming around. Once you're fully awake we'll take you to your room. Your family is waiting for you there." Jace nodded and pointed to the cup, wanting more water.

"What happened?" he rasped.

"You were hurt, your family called us in when you fainted. You'll have to fill in the blanks yourself once you have recovered. I'm sure a lot of people will have a lot of questions for you."

Jace sighed, slowly the events of the night were coming back. He shuddered and pushed the memories to the back of his mind. He knew he'd have to relive them soon, but right now, he just wasn't up for it. All he wanted was to see Clary, hold her close, see his family and know they were all right. It was about ten minutes later that the nurse came back and wheeled his bed out of recovery.

When they arrived at his room Jace with some surprise that his entire family had been waiting for him in the cramped room. Even Alec was awake, despite the fact that is was four in the morning.

His mother lunged herself at him the moment the bed was put in place, Robert standing next to his bed, his hand on Jace's shoulder. Izzy and Simon stood in a corner of the room, just watching.

"Where is Clary?" Jace asked when he looked though the room and didn't see her standing there.

"She went home. She wasn't feeling well and though it would be better if she could rest a bit and be all right in the morning." Isabelle said. "She texted me a little while ago."

Jace nodded, but there was a pinching feeling in the depths of his stomach that told him something was off.

"Try to get some sleep." His mother said. "You need to rest and get better. Luke told us he would come by in the morning."

"Alright." Jace said through cracked lips. He was still exhausted from the surgery and his eyes felt heavy. He wanted to call Clary, know if she was alright, but his mind wouldn't focus properly and within minutes he drifted off to sleep.

Luke sat at his desk, stacks of papers surrounding him, nearly toppling to the floor. Behind him he heard Jocelyn enter his study.

"Shouldn't you be coming to bed?" She asked, as she places her hand on his shoulder.

"I know I should, but there is so much to be done here. I have to find out what the link is between Jace and this Valentine character. There is something much bigger playing here than I first thought. You haven't seen Jace, but he was in a really bad shape." Luke sighed, raking through his hair, again, so it stuck up in odd angles.

"You're no good to anyone if you're this exhausted." Jocelyn said. "You need to rest if you want to be able to help."

"Yes, you're right, of course, but I'm so worried for the boy. There are files that I don't have access to, files that are linked to a cold case from ten years ago, something involving a fellow police officer. And there's a link to the Sex Crime Unit too, which worries me even more. But that's just about all I know. I just can't get rid of the image of Jace, lying there, pale and broken. It keeps popping up everytime I close my eyes."

"I'll get you some coffee then." Jocelyn sighed, recognising defeat, and she left the room.

Luke took a look at the clock on the side of his desk. It was five in the morning. Another hour and his friend who had early shift and worked at Sex Crimes would start his day. He would go talk to him then, hoping to get some insight in the knot that was Jace's case.

Hopefully by the time Luke was finished at the station, Jace would be awake so they could talk.

Clary stirred, her head was heavy and an awful headache spread behind her eyes. _What the hell happened?_ She thought and rubbed her hands over her face, trying to clear the fog from her mind.

The nurse, the walk outside for some fresh air, and then her mind was a blank. Looking around her she noticed she was lying on a bed in a big room with an expensive looking inlaid hardwood floor. There were some chairs and benches placed at the walls and a large desk was placed in the middle of the room. Carefully she got up, trying not to lose her balance on unsteady legs and walked over to the door. Experimentally she took hold of the doorknob and turned it, but nothing happened. The door was locked and on closer inspection she noticed the window had bars on the outside.

A panic was spreading through her body as Clary realised she was trapped.

She went back to the bed and sat down, trying to calm her heart rate which had spiked over the past minute or so. She had to keep a clear head and try to figure out where she was and why.

Clary jumped when the door across the room opened and a figure came in. It was a young man, maybe twenty year old. He had a lean, strong built and dark hair over a pale face.

"Ah, you woke up." He said, a smile spreading over his face.

It wasn't the kind of smile that enhanced someone's beauty. The man was handsome, no denying that, but the smile was cold, distant and didn't reach his eyes. It made him look almost predatory and it sent shivers down Clary's spine.

"Who are you?" she asked, trying, and somehow even succeeding, in keeping her voice level.

"How rude of me," The young man answered. "I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Sebastian, and you, are Clary, Jace's girlfriend."

"How do you know who I am?" Clary asked, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Oh, I know a great deal about you, Clary Fairchild. But that is of no importance right now. I'll go get you something to eat and drink first. I'm sure you're hungry." And without preamble he got up and left the room.

 _Valentine._ Shot through Clary's head. It had to be related to him. Jace had told her he had wanted to keep her safe. She hadn't understood at the time, but now it seemed she did. If this whole thing was related to Valentine, she was in serious trouble. Thinking back to how Jace had looked the last time she had bandaged his back made her feel sick and faint.

Luke had gone down to the station to meet up with Sarah, his colleague from the Sex Crime department.

" So you're telling me that there is somehow a connection between Jace Lightwood, Valentine Morgenstern and a cold case from seven years ago?"

"It used to be Jace Herondale, but yes, I think so at least."

"Used to be?" Sarah interrupted.

"Jace was adopted by the Lightwoods, but his name was Herondale. To be fair, I'm not entirely sue he changed it. Bur the link between Jace and Valentine is definitely there. A witness saw the boy going to the a house that is owned by Sebastian Verlac, Valentine's adoptive son. It stands to reason that Valentine might live there too since there is no known address for him. The witness didn't know who lived there but she did know that Jace is being tutored by someone named Valentine. I need to get my hands on that classified cold case if u want to figure out why it's linked to Valentine and, I think at least, Jace too."

"Look, this Valentine character is a big fish. I'll see what I can find on him and pass it on to you. But you really have to know that this case might grow above our heads. I've seen his name pop up in several old cases, most of them at least seven to ten years old, several even older. I never really paid much attention to it since it weren't my own cases."

"It would mean a lot if you would do that. I'm going to dig in with those cold cases."

Luke have Sarah a quick kiss on the cheek and left. He would be heading down to the archives to try and find the file he was looking for. Jace had once mentioned that his father had been a police officer, but he had died on the job, years ago. And Luke was sure that this man's death might be the missing link between Jace and Valentine.

"Hey Jason." Luke greeted the guard at the entranced the archive.

"Hello Luke, it's been a while."

"Yes, I haven't been in need of any cold cases recently. But, that had changed now."

"And how can I be of service?" Jason asked.

"I'm looking for a cold case, probably seven or eight years old where an officer by the name Herondale was in charge."

"Stephen Herondale you mean?"

"Yes, I think so. Did he have a son?"

"Yes, he did, he was a splendid man. I was sorry to hear his undercover blew. He didn't survive it. He got killed in his own house. It was the boy who found him."

"And they never found out who did it?"

"There were ideas and speculations, but never any proof."

"Could you get me any information about him? I might be into something, without realising it before."

"Sure, come along, I know where the files are."

Luke went home that day with several boxes full of papers stuffed in his car. It would take a long time to get through all this. But hopefully it would be worth it.

It was a ray of sunshine that broke through the drawn curtains that woke Jace up. He felt awful, had a splitting headache and his throat felt like someone had attacked it with a cheese grater.

He winced as he tried to swallow.

"Jace? Are you awake?" Came Alec's voice from his left side.

Jace nodded, not wanting to talk since it all hurt too much.

He scuffle next to him told Jace that Alec had gotten up and within seconds his older brother appeared in his line of vision.

"Let me help you up a bit so you can drink." Alec said, and he carefully put his hands under Jace's back and lifted him in a half sitting position.

He offered Jace a glass of water that had been sitting on the bedside table and Jace accepted it gratefully.

"Thanks." He croaked.

"How are you feeling?" Alec asked when he sat himself on the side of Jace's bed.

The shifting of the mattress send a smile of pain through Jace, but he bit down the groan that threatened to escape his lips.

"Like I was hit by a truck." he replied when the pain had ebbed away a little.

"You look like it too. What the hell happened Jace?" Fear and worry were etched in Alec's eyes.

Jace shook his head. "I can't tell you, I want to, but I can't." He said. His eyes burned with unshed tears and he angrily rubbed his hands over them, feeling weak.

"Jace, you know that, if you want to, you can tell me anything."

"I know, Alec, but I can't. I'll have to relive it already when I talk to the cops, I can't do it twice." Alec nodded and put his hand on Jace's.

"I'll go get mom and dad. They'll want to see you. And they'll probably call Luke so you can talk to him." With that he got up and left the room, leave Jace to his own thoughts.

"Alec?" Jace said, just before his brother left the room.

"Where is Clary?"

"I haven't seen her since last night, but she was exhausted. I'm sure she'll come by today when she's feeling better."

 **A/N There you are! Please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N First of all sorry for the very long wait! It's been super busy around here and I just didn't have the time.**

 **But... here's a brand new chapter! Hope you like it!**

 **Don't forget to leave a review!**

 **Lots of love!**

 **XX**

It was about nine in the morning when Luke arrived at the hospital. He had received a call from Maryse and Robert about an hour before telling him Jace was awake and wanted to talk to him. He'd gone home to Jocelyn first, taking a shower and eating breakfast so he could go to Jace a little clear headed.

Luke found the room and knocked before entering. It was just Jace and Alec who were there. Everyone else had gone home to get some sleep.

"Morning." Luke said to both boys.

"Hi Luke." Alec said, and Jace waved a hand in his direction, still chewing his breakfast.

"Jace, your mom called, telling me you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes." Jace said, and Luke winced at the scraping voice that came from the younger man in front of him.

"Luke?" Jace asked, "Where is Clary? Have you seen her? Is she alright?"

"Clary?" Luke said, taken aback. "I thought she was here with you, she didn't come home this night."

Jace's eyes widened. "What? Then where is she? Izzy said that Clary texted her saying she was going home."

Luke shook his head. "She's never been home, Jocelyn would have told me otherwise."

"Alec!" Jace said, turning to his brother. "Call Simon, ask him if Clary is at our place. We need to find out where she is, and soon!"

Alec grabbed his phone and called Simon. When he didn't pick up, he called his parents.

"Mom?" He said, when he heard her voice. "Mom, have you seen Clary? Is she at our place?" There was a definite urgency to Alec's voice.

"She's not?" He said after a few minutes. "Damn, no we don't know where she is. She never came home last night either. Luke just told us."

Jace's face fell, a look of pure desperation marring his features.

"Jace?" Luke rushed over to the bed, afraid the young man would faint. He put an hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently "Do you have any idea where she might be?" He asked.

Jace closed his eyes, putting his hands over his face, trying to fall away from the world.

"He has her." He mumbled through his hands. "He has her and it's my fault. My fault, my fault, ... " He kept repeating it over and over again, pressing his hands to his eyes, hoping that any extent of physical pain, and he was in quite a lot of that, would outweigh the pain of losing Clary, of not being able to protect her, but it wasn't working.

"Jace." Luke's voice snapped him back to reality. "Jace, look at me. If there is anything you know, anything you can tell me, you have to do it now. We need to find her, right?"

With a huge effort Jace looked at Luke and nodded.

Apparently Clary had fallen asleep again after Sebastian had brought her some soup and a glass of water. She jerked upright when the door was flung open and two men came in. One she recognised as Sebastian, the other one, she thought, had to be Valentine if her contemplation before had been correct.

"Time to get up pumpkin." The older man said and he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet.

"Wait! Where are we going?" Clary shouted, but there was no reply as the man yanked her arm viciously and forced her to follow him.

They led her down three flights of stairs and down into a garage where a minivan stood waiting. Clary was roughly shoved in the back of the van and Sebastian followed her in. He grabbed her hands and bound them with a length of rope that cut in her wrists. With quick movements that told Clary this wasn't the first time he had done this, he chained her to a ring in the floor, close enough that she couldn't sit up or reach any of the knots.

Sebastian left the back of the van again, slammed the door shut and left Clary in near total darkness, there were no windows.

She felt the van roar to life and start driving. Within minutes Clary had lost all sense of direction and was starting to feel really sick. After a while she vomited violently until all the content of her stomach had left her, after that, she just stopped caring, feeling too ill to bring up the energy.

Jace had gathered all his energy and courage and was looking at Luke.

"It's Valentine, I know it is." He said, and dropped his gaze back to his hands.

"Valentine, he's got Clary?" Luke asked, putting his hand under Jace's chin and lifting his head. "Jace, I know this is difficult, but we have to get through this. I need to know why you think it was Valentine who took Clary."

Jace's hands clenched and unclenched conclusively on the blanket over his legs. He felt his breathing speed up and his heart rate was getting out of control.

"Jace, calm down, you're almost hyperventilating." Luke said, putting his hand on Jace's arm and squeezing it reassuringly.

"It's…" Jace began, but his voice faltered again. "I know it's him, because… because he's the one who put Alec in the hospital and who did this" he gestured to himself "to me. He threatened Clary last night, I wanted to tell her, I needed her to know and I bloody well failed!" he was screaming towards the end, tears streaming down his face.

Alec had been listening to most of what Jace had said. His heart broke for his brother and when he heard him saying it was Valentine who had been doing this to him he got up and left the room. He felt sick and needed some fresh air.

Once outside he took out his phone and called Magnus.

"Magnus, it was Valentine. All this time it was Valentine who was hurting Jace." he said, choking on bottled up emotions. "And now he's saying it's Valentine who has taken Clary."

" _Alec, calm down."_ Magnus said, " _There is nothing you can do right now. But maybe we can help. Do you know where this Valentine lives? Maybe I could go check it out."_

Alec passed the address to Magnus, telling him to be careful before hanging up. He needed to see Jace, make sure he was holding up, at least a little bit.

When he arrived back at the room Luke just came out. "Alec, stay with Jace, he needs you. I'm going to get us both something to drink and I'll be back soon. But he shouldn't be alone right now." He said to the young man in front of him.

When Alec walked into the room he found Jace, sitting on the bed, breathing hard and his face wet with tears.

He sat down next to his younger brother and put his arm around him. "It's all right, everything will be all right." He said softly. Jace was shaking in his embrace and didn't reply. They just sat there, holding each other. "I'm so sorry." Jace suddenly whispered.

"What for?" Alec asked.

"For getting you involved in this. It never should have happened. You ended up in the hospital because of me!"

"No, I ended up here because of Valentine, not because of you." Alec said, very firmly, and Jace nodded, albeit half heartedly.

Simon had left a sleeping Isabelle in her room when Magnus had knocked. Magnus had told him about Valentine, at least the little bit Alec had told him on the phone.

"I want to go check on that house." Magnus told Simon. "Alec gave me the address, I need to know if Clary might be there. But since you're her best friend, I thought I should tell you."

"I'm coming with you." Simon replied, without hesitation. "Just let me write a note to Isabelle so she won't worry."

Simon had arrived downstairs, dressed and ready to leave five minutes later.

"Does Luke know what we're going to do?" Simon asked when he climbed into Magnus's car.

"No, I don't think Alec told him. Luke needs to stay with Jace now, he needs to help him get through whatever happened last night and get as much information out of him as possible. But that doesn't mean we can't help him out. I want to go check on that house, see if Clary's there and if not, see if we can find some kind of clue to where she might be."

Simon nodded. He would have prefered Luke to be there with them, but he understood Magnus's thinking. This would be the best way to get as much information about this whole mess in a short time. And if Clary was in danger, which, considering Jace's state after this Valentine character had dealt with him was more than plausible, time was of the essence.

It felt like hours before the minivan finally stopped. Clary felt sick and bruised as she lay, nearly motionless, on the floor of the van.

With a deafening screech the door of the van was pulled open and Clary blinked against the sudden glare of sunlight.

Sebastian got in and started to untie her hands.

"Why are you doing this?" Clary asked weakly.

"That is of no concern to you." Sebastian replied. "We merely want to send a message to Jace. If he gets it, you'll be out of here in no time."

"Where are we?"

"I'm not going to tell you that. But don't worry, we've got no neighbours, and the closest house is miles away. Don't try to run, you won't make it."

His voice was soft and slow, but the menace beneath it made the hairs on Clary's neck rise alarmingly.

"I won't." She said, as he pulled on the rope around her hand and she nearly fell out of the van.

Clary had a moment to take in her surroundings. They were at an old farmhouse, the white paint peeling off the walls. There were orchards surrounding the house giving off a sweet floral scent to the air. It reminded her of her holidays when she was younger at Luke's old cabin. Before she knew it however, she was pushed inside the house and everything was lost from view.

Inside a dank smell invaded her nose and made her sneeze. It was horrible, like a mixture of old dust, mould and something rotting underneath the wooden floorboards.

It was cold and the air had a wet feeling to it. It was clear the house hadn't been used in quite a while now and a league worth of dust made puffs under her feet as she moved.

"Welcome to your new home." Valentine said, as he entered the room. Clary just glared at him and didn't reply.

"Sebastian, please bring Clary up to her room. I'm sure she's tired." He turned to Clary then and continued, "Clothes can be found in the dresser and there's a bathroom at your disposal. I won't keep you chained, but don't try to run. All the outside exits are locked and there are guard dogs running around the house. They'll tear you apart if they see you."

Sebastian yanked at the rope still binding Clary's hands and she stumbled after him.

Once upstairs he opened a door and pushed Clary inside.

"My lady." he said, with a mocking bow, as he untied her and left.

Luke had come back in the hospital room carrying a tray with three cups of coffee and some milk and sugar. He had watched Jace and Alec for a moment, sitting on the bed, Alec hugging his brother who was obviously still shaking with silent tears.

Alec had looked up at Luke, and shook his head a little, indicating that Jace wasn't ready to continue their earlier conversation.

Luke had already dispatched a team to the address he had linked to Valentine earlier to have them search for Clary and kept a close eye on his phone for any updates.

When he felt his phone buzz in his jeans pocket, he put the tray down on the table and left the room, checking the message.

It was from Simon.

 _~ Luke, we found a clue to where Clary might be. We already left. We'll keep you updated. As soon as we find something we'll let you know. Talk soon. S ~_

Luke looked at his phone in bewilderment. What the hell was Simon thinking? And who was "we"? He tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail so instead he texted back.

 _~Simon, don't do anything stupid. Call me asap when you read this! Who is with you? Just turn back and give me all the information you have! Luke_ ~

When it was done, he turned back to the room and grabbed a cup of coffee.

Alec looked up at him, his still face worried, but slightly more relaxed than it had been before.

"Jace?" Alec said softly, "Luke is back."

Jace looked up and nodded.

"I'll talk to him." He replied. "But Alec, I don't want to be mean, but I think I'd rather not have you here. I don't want you to hear all of what I'm about to say. I'm really sorry, but I just can't."

"Don't be sorry. The only thing that is really really important is that you can tell your story. If you need me, I'm just a phone call away. I'll be going out for a walk or something. Just text me or call me when you need me back here. Ok?"

He hugged his brother and got up off the bed. When passing Luke he murmured: "Be nice to him, and call me when he needs me, he won't do it himself."

Alec had closed the door behind him and Jace saw Luke grab a chair and sit down next to the bed.

Jace looked up at him, apprehension clear in his eyes.

"Jace," Luke began, "I know this is hard. You won't like it, but we need all the information we can get on this guy. And right now you are the only one you're the best chance we have."

"I know." Jace replied, his eyes cast down again, his hands keeping hold on the blankets that covered him.

"I'm going to put a recorder on the nightstand, that way you only have to tell your story once and I can keep focus on you. If it's too much, just tell me and we'll take a break."

"That's ok."

Luke pulled the recorder out of his backpack and readied it.

"Can you state your full name?" He asked.

"My name is Jonathan Christopher Wayland, I was born 22th of January 2000, son of Stephen and Celine Wayland."

"Alright, now if I understand you correctly, you have known Valentine for quite a while already. Would you like to talk about how it all started, or rather start at what happened these past days?"

Jace thought for a moment. The recent events would be easiest to talk about because even though they had been painful, they weren't humiliating as a lot of other things he would have to tell Luke. On the other hand, nothing would actually make sense to anyone.

"I'll start at the beginning." He said eventually.

Luke nodded. "Alright, just start whenever you feel ready."

Simon and Magnus were driving down the highway. It was quite in the car, no music, no talking, each of them sunken in their own thoughts.

When they had arrived at the address Alex had provided it had been obvious that no one was home. There were tire tracks leading off the driveway, indicating that someone had left in quite a hurry.

Simon had found the backdoor badly locked and without any effort had managed to get inside. For a moment he had stood in awe of the grandeur of the house, before shaking his head and getting down to the task of finding any clues about Clary's whereabouts. Together both men had Starfleet going through stacks of papers, opening drawers and shaking books. It took them a while before stumbling long across a laptop. Simon had taken hold of the thing, craving it's password writhing a few minutes.

"Magnus! I think I found something!"

Magnus had hurried over to him, sitting down and studying the map that was still open in one of the tabs.

"This must be it." Magnus had murmured, before taking a picture of the screen, slamming the laptop shut and pulling Simon to his feet.

"Let's go, I know where this is and we have quite a drive before us to go check it."

Once on the road neither of them had said a lot.

Simon's phone buzzed announcing a message.

 _~ Simon, please get back to me. I don't want you in trouble. Call me soon! Luke ~_

Simon sighed "It's Luke, again. He really wants me to call him."

"Don't, he'll only try to convince us to turn back. Right now Luke needs to focus on Jace, he needs him more than we do. If we find something, we'll call him for backup." Magnus replied. "It won't be long now anyway. My GPS says we're nearly there. About half an hour left."

After rummaging through the dresser for clothes Clary took a shower and retreated back to her room. She felt sick, and hungry and most of all scared. Until now she had managed to keep her fear at bay, not showing too much to the two men who had captured her. But now, when she was alone, she felt it stealing over her, making her feel numb and a little heady. She thought of Jace, thought back to how he had looked and her stomach knotted making her want to throw up. For a long time Clary was alone, sitting on the bed, trying to clear her head.

Suddenly the door burst open and Valentine walked in, carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of soup and a pitcher of water.

"There you go. We don't want you to starve, now do we?" He said, his voice casual, like he'd be talking to a friend. Clary said nothing and waited for him to leave the room again. But he didn't, instead he turned to her looking her up and down and sneering.

"I don't get what Jace sees in you." He remarked. "But then again, I'll find some use for you. I'm sure you'll make perfect entertainment for some of my guests."

Clary's eyes bulged and she swallowed audibly.

"Jace didn't tell you?" Valentine sneered. "He didn't tell you how we spent our time together. Well, that does surprise me. But it doesn't matter. I'm sure we'll be able to make you obedient and compliant."

He left the room and Clary could hear him talking to who she assumed was Sebastian.

Clary dimly noticed that her hands were shaking and she clenched them in first, holding the blanket on the bed to get them back under control.

She wouldn't let them get to her. No matter how hard she'd have to fight!

 **A/N And there it was... what do you guys think?**


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